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Date Posted: Thu, 01/30/03 7:34am
Author: chahta_ndn_girl0
Subject:

Hope you think GOOD and HARD first!!!
In reply to: lagirl 's message, "Re: Babies are not puppies" on Tue, 01/28/03 3:50pm

Kangi, Lagirl and the rest... I guess my first thought to this is ... the question is not really "is mid fourties to old to HAVE a child"... but "is it too old to RAISE a child?"

I personally think yes. Now, if you get pregnant and it is one of those unexpected surprises that accidently (or unplanned) happens, then, you trust that God had his reasons for gifting you this special little surprise so late in life, and go on from there, doing the best you can.

But, to PLAN to get pregnant, this late in life, I feel is really unfair to the child! If you are say 46 when the child is born, then you will be 56 when he/she is only 10 years old. Now that is a good age to be a grandma, but as a momma, at that age, it is very feasible that you could begin facing the beginnings of health problems, you are going to be more tired than you are now, are you gonna be up to field trips, sleep overs, roller skating party's, etc.

When the child is 18 you will be 64. At 18, will the child be looking forward to going off to college and starting an exciting life of his/her own, or will she be faced with limiting her choices due to wanting to stay close by, to help to care for her elderly parents?

By the time he/she marry's and has children, say 25, you will be 71. Will you be there to share that wedding day, like you KNOW that he/she would want you to be? Will you be there to give motherly advice while she is pregnant with her first child (or his wife is expecting and he is worried about being a good dad?). And will your childs child be robbed of the experience of a grandma and grandpa, because by the time THAT child is, say, 5, you will be 76. If your lucky, you will still be alive and well, but who knows what our future holds?!!

Yes, alot of these challenges could STILL face younger parents, we could all be struck with a fatal disease at any point of our life. But the ODDS are just higher the older we get!

And the odds are even higher against ndn's due to such poor medical care we recieve, diabetes, high blood pressure,etc. The odds just dont look good for an older Indian parent.

Like I said, these are just POSSIBILITIES, but I think you should think about these things. And also, the chance of you having a down syndrome child is drastically increased after age 40 moms. That means caring for that child for the rest of HIS/HER life if that happens. As older parents when that child is 18, who is gonna take over the responsibilities???

I wish you the best Kangi, these are hard decisions to make I am sure. I hope you will find YOUR answer AND peace!!

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Replies:

Re: Hope you think GOOD and HARD first!!! -- Sinatihawk, Thu, 01/30/03 9:44am
Re: Hope you think GOOD and HARD first!!! -- Lupa, Thu, 01/30/03 10:41am