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Date Posted: 08:15:33 04/17/03 Thu
Author: Red Angel
Subject: Chapter Eleven: Dalton Bound... and Gagged (First person - Red Angel)

I've only ever seen about five episodes of Ranma 1/2, but there is one line from the show that I remember. It describes what I feel very well right now.

"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOOOOWWWWW!?!?!?"

"Not Dalton." Ah, my brother, Nelson. Stating the obvious at any opprotunity, when he isn't talking about Dan sucking Amanda's (Non-existant) penis.

And let me take this time to tell you that that's exactly what he's been doing since we teleported to Cleaveland, looking for Joe. And as an afterthought, Menkin. Danny's wearing a hooded sweatshirt and sunglasses to hide his horns and eyes. I'm wearing a trenchcoat to cover my wings. And Junior's busy threatening to take pictures of Amanda sodomizing Dan if "he" isn't really a girl. I hope Amanda hurts him badly.

"And if she really loves you," he yelled as Dan looked in the phone book for Joseph Smith, "and if she is really a girl, then she won't mind having sex with you right there! That's the only way I'll believe it!"

You'd think he'd stopped for a second to take a breath, or to wonder how in hell he was able to teleport away from Dan's flaming hand. Or to figure out that everyone was staring at the twenty-six clones of Cloud Strife that he produced to mow down Amanda (In case "he" tries to rape Dan, he assures us.). But no. And just when I was about to choke the living hell out of the bastard, Dan lifted his head from the Cleaveland white pages.

"He's where?"

His hand's on fire again. Not good.

"I see. Okay, Mandi-chan. I'll find Menkin, then. Oh. He's with Joe. I see. Okay, then, I'll be right there. Ai shiteru."

"Well?" I asked.

"He was there already. Menkin's with him. We have just wasted, like, five hours of our lives serching for someone who's already THERE!"

"At least we got to see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame© before you meet your boyfriend."

...

Three minutes, and twenty-six flaming, spiky haired, muscle-bound SOLDIERs later, we had teleported to Dalton. Amanda - who looked about the way I imagined her to - was very happy to see Danny. And I felt about ready to kill Joe for not telling us he was here.

"Okay, Alex, have sex with her! Let's see it!"

"Mandi-chan," Dan asked sweetly, "can I borrow Golden Sun for a minute? I wanna KILL somebody. ^_^"

"Who?" She asked as she blushed madly at Junior's command.

"The little Puerto Rican that's going into the mall for some reason." She passed the sword to Dan and he chased after him.

"To buy some CONDOMS!" Junior yelled back, and rushed into the mall.

Tay walks over to me. "Does this happen often?"

"Everyday, Tay. Everyday..."

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