Re: Say The Words - ch. 19 & 20 -- The Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Fan Exchange

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Date Posted: 06:32:31 03/26/03 Wed
Author: dqfan
Subject: Re: Say The Words - ch. 19 & 20
In reply to: dqfan 's message, "Re: Say The Words - ch. 17 & 18" on 06:28:25 03/26/03 Wed

CHAPTER NINETEEN

"He's been like this for over a week now," Ezra whispered to Daisy.

From the hallway window outside Peter's office, they observed him - huddled over his desk, telephone lodged tightly between his neck and shoulder, pen in hand and scraps of paper everywhere.

"I hardly see him any more," Daisy concurred. "Something is definitely wrong."

"Maybe the school's in trouble again," Ezra theorized.

"Look at him, Ezra," Daisy insisted. "That is the face of a desperate man. Only a woman can make a man that desperate�"

Continually amazed by Daisy's insight when it came to interpersonal relationships, Ezra was suitably impressed. "So, you were right! The other couple is Peter and Sophie�"

"It would seem so," Daisy sighed. "Should we go in?" she wondered.

"Better let me talk to him�man to man," Ezra's chest puffed with masculinity.

"Anything you say, Slick," Daisy stifled her laughter as she patted him on the shoulder and turned to leave. "Knock 'em dead�"

^^^^^^^^^^^^

"But it's urgent I get in touch with him�" Peter demanded of the person on the other end of the phone.

"Hey, Peter," Ezra bounded cheerfully into Peter's office, hoping a positive approach would work.

"Ezra, haven't you at least learned to knock?!" Peter snapped.

Okay, the positive approach was the wrong choice, Ezra realized quickly as he spun around and headed immediately for the door.

"Wait! Ezra, I'm sorry," Peter apologized, waving Ezra in.

Finding himself on hold again anyway, Peter decided he should at least see what Ezra wanted. "What do you need?" Peter asked, temporarily placing his pen behind his ear.

"Uh�nothing�" Ezra faltered, lacking an actual plan beyond hello.

"I�uh�just wanted to tell you that�I�uh�I'm really�" Peter waited patiently as Ezra fumbled to say something.

"I'm really�enjoying working at Oakhaven," Ezra blurted the first thing he could think of.

"That's good, Ezra," Peter smiled, wondering if that was really what Ezra had come in to tell him.

Suddenly, Peter's telephone connection went dead. Closing his eyes and counting to ten, Peter let the receiver slide from his ear and dangle loosely on his shoulder. "Not again!" he sighed in defeat.

"Problem?" Ezra's voice rose slightly, betraying his curiosity.

"What�hmmm�Oh, no, just someone I'm trying to reach," Peter replied vaguely, rubbing his forehead.

"Old friend?" Ezra probed, hoping to discover some valuable nugget of information.

But Peter didn't answer. His gaze had turned toward the window, his mind wandering aimlessly as he contemplated his options. Maybe there was a possibility he hadn't considered before? There had to be a better way to reach Sophie's father than the endless string of receptionists and clueless junior officers he'd been speaking with at Air Force bases from Canada to Tokyo. What he needed was the right contact...

Suddenly, Peter was struck by a ridiculous thought. Had he overlooked the obvious? With a quizzical stare, Peter turned back toward Ezra, eyeing him in a new light. The chances were slim but Peter had nothing more to lose�

"Ezra�You're helping Dr. Burke with the air show, aren't you?" Peter asked as nonchalantly as possible.

"Sure," Ezra replied, somewhat surprised by the question.

"How's that's going?" Peter inquired, casually leaning back in his chair, with a renewed, relaxed demeanor that Ezra found rather unnerving.

"Fine�" Ezra answered slowly, not sure where the conversation was headed.

"You know, maybe I should arrange for the squad to give a talk at Horizon�sort of a question and answer session about careers in aviation, the military�" Peter suggested creatively.

"Any idea how I would go about contacting them?" he asked innocently.

"Well, not exactly�" Ezra answered hesitantly. "They're always traveling�Whenever we need any information we call the Air Force Public Affairs office in Vancouver. Major Walters always knows where they are�"

"Major Walters�Public Affairs�Vancouver�" Peter had taken the pen from behind his ear and was scribbling furiously as Ezra spoke.

"Great�Uh, I mean, that's good to know�Thanks." Peter tried not to beam too brightly with his success.

"Sure, Peter�" Ezra was happy to see Peter's attitude improve. "Glad I could help..."

With smiles glued awkwardly on both their faces, silence hung in the air while Ezra tried to think of something to prolong the conversation - and his investigation into Peter's strange behavior. Meanwhile, Peter waited anxiously for Ezra to leave so he could place his next call.

"Well, I should be getting to group�" Ezra mumbled.

"Great, I'll be there in a few minutes," Peter promised cheerfully.

"Okay, then�See ya there." Totally out of excuses to remain in Peter's office, Ezra finally left, pausing for one last wave outside Peter's window.

Carefully, Peter delayed picking up the phone until Ezra was completely out of sight.

Continuing his quest, Peter dialed directory information for the number of The Canadian Air Force's Public Affairs Office in Vancouver.

"This had better work�" he prayed silently.

^^^^^^^^^^^

"Well, did you talk to him?" Daisy was dying to hear.

"Of course I did," Ezra boasted as he sat beside Daisy on the couch in the great room, waiting for their group session to begin.

"So, what did he say about Sophie?" she asked in hushed tones.

"We�uh�didn't exactly talk about Sophie�" Ezra hedged uncomfortably.

"Well, what did you talk about - exactly?" Daisy's voice was filled with suspicion.

"We talked about�the air show," Ezra confessed, unable to look Daisy in the eye.

"The air show?" Incredulous, Daisy rose from the sofa in a huff.

Ezra braced himself for Daisy's tirade as she joined Shelby on the other side of the room.

Wincing at his perceived failure in Daisy's eyes, Ezra could only nod meekly as Daisy made her exasperation extremely clear� "Men!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"No, the 17th will be fine�One o'clock�Pan Pacific Hotel. I'll be there. Thank you�very much!"

Peter hung up the phone and began to pace nervously. Well, it was done. Alexander Becker would be in Vancouver for one day only on March 17th for a publicity photo shoot. Peter's makeshift proposal for a possible lecture by the Snowbirds at Horizon had intrigued Major Walters. Graciously, he agreed for Peter to meet Commander Becker for lunch.

Purposely, Peter had made no mention of Sophie in their conversation. Whatever he was going to say was between him and Alexander Becker alone. But, what was he going to say? Up until now, Peter had been so focused on simply locating the renowned aviator that he hadn't given any real thought to what would happen after that. Well, now he'd found him�and they were having lunch�

Peter glanced down at his calendar. March 16th was circled in red. Sophie's permanent cast was coming off that day. From then on, she would need just a soft boot cast that could be removed easily for moderate physical exercise and rehabilitation. Sophie would be completely mobile�she'd be able to return to Horizon�go into Agnes�and�there would be nothing to prevent them from being together.

"Nothing except this secret I'm keeping," Peter worried guiltily. "Meeting her father behind her back�"

"I won't know until I talk to him," Peter cautioned himself, tapping the date on his calendar apprehensively. "Maybe it'll be all right�"

"Peter�The Cliffhangers are waiting�Their group session�" Kat knocked on the door to remind him.

"Coming�" he answered, still somewhat distracted.

Needing to refocus his attention on his work for the moment, Peter grabbed his jacket and headed resolutely toward the door, but not before pausing to tap his finger on March 17th one last time�

^^^^^^^^^^^^

CHAPTER TWENTY

As the weeks passed, Peter began to feel as if he was living someone else's life. The sparkle slowly faded from his eyes and in its place fell hollow dark circles, indicative of his perpetual lack of sleep. He spent very little time at home now and when he did, he usually found some excuse for Charity to be there too.

Charity did everything she could to ease the tension, encouraging Sophie to continue with the wedding plans. Peter was consulted, of course, and responded with appropriate interest, uttering "Sure," "Fine," and "Sounds good," whenever necessary. With so much at stake for both of them in this tentative, early phase of their engagement, neither Peter nor Sophie was willing to rock the boat. Each refrained from their usual impulse toward confrontation in favor of a routine ripe with avoidance and denial. Thus, the days unfolded in zombie-like fashion and, soon, the wedding preparations were almost complete.

Luckily for Peter, Horizon and the Cliffhangers demanded his attention, and most days were an acceptable mix of teaching, paperwork, and as much physical exercise as he could tolerate before passing out.

But, oh, how Peter dreaded the nights! The nights were positively unbearable - especially that hour or so after dinner once Charity had retired to Sophie's trailer for the evening. For, unless he chose to make some feeble excuse about needing to return to Horizon, that was the one time Peter couldn't help being alone with Sophie. The unanswered questions and gnawing doubts were written all over her face and it broke his heart every time she looked at him.

"What's wrong?"�"Please tell me�" "I'm here�" Sophie spoke volumes without uttering a single word and the guilt Peter felt over his silence only grew stronger and stronger.

But, if her disappointment was painful to him, it was nothing compared to her touch. Sophie's touch was pure agony. Her soft kisses on his lips�her gentle caresses upon his cheek�the slightest physical contact with her seemed to send every nerve in his body on fire instantly.

And, though they continued sleeping apart, by necessity they shared the only bathroom. Their occasional and awkward run-ins at the bathroom door, often with Sophie in nothing but a towel, only served to deepen Sophie's heartache and fuel Peter's pent-up desire. Often, Peter found himself daydreaming out his office window, recalling their time together in Colorado Springs, when they had loved so freely and with such passion. Peter ached to feel that passion with Sophie again.

Faithfully each night, after he was sure Sophie was asleep, Peter would stand in the doorway and just watch her. She looked so peaceful, and so incredibly beautiful. Sometimes he would even pull up a chair and sit beside the bed for a while, finding comfort in the sound of her steady breathing. As he sat there, Peter would rehearse, over and over again, what he planned to say to Sophie's father; but, invariably, he never seemed to find the right words.

When March 16th finally dawned, Sophie awoke with fresh excitement. She felt more like her old self than she had in weeks. This was the day her cast would come off - the day she and Peter could finally be together. Painfully, she'd witnessed the longing in his eyes these past few weeks. Whatever was troubling him, unquestionably Peter still wanted her. Sophie was sure of it.

Filled with renewed optimism, Sophie felt confident that today would be the start of a new beginning for them. Once she and Peter renewed their physical relationship, then whatever problem was bothering him they would face it together�

Cheerfully, Sophie greeted Peter at the kitchen table, wrapping her arms lovingly around his neck. "How about if we go out tonight and celebrate?"

"No�umm�Why don't we stay home?" Peter suggested instead, standing quickly, pretending he needed more coffee in order to remove Sophie's arms from his neck.

"Staying home sounds good�" Sophie smiled excitedly.

"You sure you wanna take me to the doctor's today? Charity could drive me," Sophie offered, hoping Peter might come home sooner tonight from Horizon if he didn't spend half the day carting her around Agnes.

"No, I'll do it," Peter said quickly with more force in his voice than he'd intended.

This was something he had to do himself. Peter couldn't risk anyone else taking Sophie into Agnes. Too many people knew about the air show. The posters were all over town. If Peter drove her, he could make sure Sophie went directly to Dr. Burke's office and then home with no delays. Still a gamble, but, unfortunately, it was his only choice.

The ride into town proceeded uneventfully and Peter managed to deliver Sophie safely into Stephanie's office without incident. As Sophie checked-in with the nurse, Peter spied an air show poster hanging from the bulletin board behind one of the waiting room chairs. Thinking fast, he hung his jacket swiftly from the corner of the board and sat in front of it, obscuring the poster before Sophie returned to sit beside him.

When she emerged from Stephanie's office an hour later, Sophie was grinning from ear to ear, showing off her soft cast with tiny pirouettes and a wobbly curtsy.

"Not bad, huh?" she exclaimed, thrilled with her new freedom.

"Very nice," Peter smiled indulgently, anxious to leave. "Now, let's go�"

Carefully, Peter made sure Sophie was ahead of him and practically out the door before he snatched his jacket from the board, his desperate camouflage a success.

Apprehensively, Peter stared at the poster and Alexander Becker's name in large type. With a wishful sigh, he vowed, "Tomorrow this will all be over�"

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Sophie stared at the kitchen clock. Peter had said he'd be home early but it was now almost ten p.m. Dinner was on its way to unsalvageable and the pounding rainstorm outside would make the roads impassable very soon.

Frank had invited Charity for an early dinner at Rusty's; and, since they weren't back by now, Sophie could only assume they were stranded in town. Well, Charity always enjoyed a good adventure, Sophie smirked, trying to take her mind off Peter. Charity could always stay at the local motel, or Horizon, or Frank's house� Suddenly, Sophie's mind was taking her in a direction she definitely did not want to go�

Surprisingly, Charity had agreed to go to dinner with Frank a few times since her arrival in Agnes. Whenever Sophie mentioned Charity's other erstwhile suitor, Colorado Springs' stalwart Sheriff, Ben Reardon, Charity would promptly change the subject. Quickly Sophie decided it was best not to pry. Sophie liked Ben, but she loved Frank dearly and if Charity made him happy, then who was Sophie to object, as long as Charity didn't hurt him, of course.

"Oh, stop spending so much time worrying about Charity's love life when your own's such a mess!" Sophie chided herself as she drew back the living room curtain and stared at the driving rain sheeting against the windowpane.

A thunderbolt cracked loudly and Sophie jumped backwards with a shiver. As she ran her hands up and down her arms to warm herself, Sophie realized how ridiculous it was to be wearing a thin white blouse on such a damp winter night. It had taken her hours to decide what to wear tonight.

Not wanting to seem too anxious about her evening alone with Peter, Sophie had chosen to wear jeans - casual yet form-fitting. Her crisp white cotton blouse was long-sleeved but she'd made a point to leave the top few buttons unbuttoned and had tied the shirttails tightly at her waist. No jewelry, except her emerald engagement ring - no perfume, just a scented body lotion to soften her skin. If it was possible to expect nothing and everything at the same time, then Sophie was living proof.

Sophie's heart was racing and her mind was reeling when, suddenly, she heard Peter's truck groaning in protest as it thumped into the garage. Nervously, she waited for him to make his way into the house. She waited�and waited�

Finally, on impulse, Sophie lifted her trenchcoat high over her head and ventured over to the garage to see what was keeping him�

Peter kicked the tire of his truck with all the force he possessed, his frustration at the boiling point. He'd had every intention of standing Sophie up for dinner tonight. He couldn't possibly face her until he'd seen her father�couldn't possibly love her until he could be totally honest with her. He'd planned on spending the night at Horizon but then Charity had called with an emergency�Frank's car was stuck in the mud in Rusty's parking lot. Could Peter please come and help them?

"Sure�why not?" Peter had sputtered, figuring he might as well add becoming drenched and filthy to his overwhelming misery this evening.

Then, halfway between Horizon and Rusty's, Peter's truck began to smoke. As relentless rain pellets splattered mud all over him, Peter checked under the hood, eventually concluding that the engine had overheated fighting the rough terrain. There was no way he could make it into town now. If he babied the truck all the way, he might just make it�home.

So, here he was - the one place he swore he wouldn't be�couldn't be� - praying desperately that, if he stayed in the garage long enough, Sophie might fall asleep waiting for him.

Furious at his situation, Peter flung his muddy jacket onto the floor. His wet, flannel shirt soon followed. Left in his soggy jeans and damp white t-shirt, Peter lifted the hood and kicked the offending vehicle once again.

The garage was cold and clammy, lit dimly by Peter's hi-watt emergency flashlight. Though it was virtually impossible to make repairs under those conditions, Peter kept his head buried in the engine, examining each detail of his truck's anatomy. It was late, he was soaked to the skin, and he was meeting Sophie's father in a little over twelve hours. The only circumstance that could possibly make this evening any more unbearable would be if�

"Peter, are you all right? You've been out here so long�" With concern in her voice, Sophie shook the torrential rain from her trenchcoat and draped it over the workbench.

"What happened to you?!" she exclaimed, seeing the mud on his clothes and the sorry shape he was in. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he grumbled. "It's this worthless truck!" Peter kicked the chassis one more time, almost breaking his leg in the process.

With a grimace Peter absorbed the pain and, without thinking, turned his gaze in Sophie's direction. What he saw took his breath away. Sophie's tented coat had provided scant coverage from the fierce rainstorm as she'd made her way to the garage. Her hair was wet and water droplets cascaded unchecked down her cheeks. Her blouse and jeans were damp, too, clinging provocatively to her every curve, accentuated stunningly by the warm glow of Peter's flashlight.

The amazing vision before him was more breathtaking than any fantasy Peter had dared imagine. He stood totally transfixed - fearing his knees would buckle if he attempted to move. With a tense gulp, Peter summoned all his willpower and forced himself to turn away. Grabbing the sides of his truck firmly for support, Peter disappeared under the hood, determined to focus on anything but Sophie.

"Why don't you come inside and dry off? We can take a look at the engine in the morning�" Sophie's voice purred as she approached Peter.

Seductively, she came up behind him and wrapped her arms snugly about his waist, molding her body into his back with a small, satisfied sigh.

Peter gripped his truck so hard the palms of his hands turned white.

"No!" he croaked, barely avoiding hitting his head on the hood, as he stood quickly and slid free of her grasp. "I need to fix this tonight�"

"I'm meeting those investors in Vancouver tomorrow," Peter's lies were coming more easily now - as easily as they had when he'd wanted to hide his addictions.

"But it's late and you'll freeze to death out here!" Dazed, Sophie couldn't believe this was turning into an argument, tonight of all nights.

"Don't push me, Sophie!" Peter's voice was harsh and his temper ready to explode.

"Don't push�you?" Sophie mocked incredulously, finding Peter's comment unbelievably ironic.

Here she'd been walking on eggshells for the past month trying desperately not to push him. Give him time, she'd told herself over and over again. This, in spite of the fact that, almost since the day she'd arrived at Horizon Peter had done nothing but push her - for more openness�more commitment. How dare he accuse her now?

Inevitably, the weeks of tension engulfed them both. There was no holding back the tidal wave of emotions for either of them.

"Fine!" Sophie raged, flush with a mix of fading passion and seething anger.

"If that's what you want. Stay here all night, for all I care! Stay here forever!" Furiously, Sophie stormed back to the house, not even bothering to retrieve her coat.

Peter stood paralyzed for a moment, numbly absorbing the enormity of his mistake. At once, he regretted his outburst and ran after her in a panic.

"Sophie! Wait!" he shouted, as he tried to make himself heard above the booming thunder. "Sophie!"

The rain�the thunder�Peter's voice�Sophie was immune to everything but the pain in her heart. Defiantly, she ignored his cries and continued inside the house.

"Sophie�please," Peter begged, following quickly behind her, slamming the door shut as he entered.

"This isn't what I want!" he choked, catching her by the elbow in the middle of the living room.

Infuriated, Sophie stared him squarely in the eyes and challenged him for an answer, "Just what do you want, Peter?!"

The question seemed so easy�Peter knew what his heart wanted. He knew what his body wanted, too. And, in that split second, Peter heard the echo of Sully's voice, recalling those last heartwrenching moments with Michaela, before the raid on Palmer Creek, "Just needed to block out the pain�love her enough so maybe she'd forgive me�"

For the first time in over a month, Peter didn't stop to think. He just grabbed Sophie by the shoulders and pulled her to him with a suddenness that made her gasp.

"You, Soph," he groaned, drenched and out of breath. "I want you�"

There were a million reasons why she wanted to say no�why she should say no. But as Sophie stood there, lost in his eyes - eyes that pleaded for understanding - she felt powerless to refuse him anything. Especially, something she'd craved so endlessly.

Willingly, she succumbed to the thrill of his kiss. Raw, powerful, and filled with such abandon, it made her heart pound, her blood race, and her body moan with sheer delight. Peter's lips were everywhere and Sophie felt as if she was drowning, her senses heightened beyond all rational thought. Torturous weeks of unanswered longing burst instantly as their desire escalated uncontrollably.

Desperately, his hands sought her wet blouse, the buttons popping from the urgency of his need. Just as frantically, Sophie reciprocated, tugging Peter's t-shirt free from his waist and up over his head. The cold rain had left them shivering but the heat of their passion warmed them faster than any blanket or fire ever could.

As he swept Sophie off her feet and into his arms, Peter crushed her tightly against him, growling low at the feel of her skin next to his. Swiftly, he carried her into the bedroom, hungrily deepening his kiss with every step�.

Nothing had changed. Peter still had no idea what tomorrow would hold. But tonight� tonight he would relish Sophie in his arms. Tonight he would love her enough for a thousand tomorrows.

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Replies:

Re: Say The Words - ch. 21 & 22 -- dqfan, 06:37:26 03/26/03 Wed
- Re: Say The Words - ch. 23& 24 -- dqfan, 06:41:25 03/26/03 Wed
  - Re: Say The Words - ch. 25 -- dqfan, 06:44:01 03/26/03 Wed