Say the Words - ch.26 -- The Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Fan Exchange

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Date Posted: 06:46:41 03/26/03 Wed
Author: dqfan
Subject: Say the Words - ch.26

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

"Coffee�strong and black," Alexander made himself at home in Peter's kitchen.

"I could add some whiskey in there if you need it?" he offered, beginning to search the cabinets.

"You won't find any," Peter explained, taking a sip of the hot coffee. "I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict."

No point in trying to impress the man now, Peter thought dejectedly. How he wished he'd been as honest with Sophie this past month.

"All that and a banker, too?" Alexander commented wryly.

"Stockbroker�" Peter smiled in spite of himself.

"Oh that's right," Alexander smiled, too. "A stockbroker�"

"In Vancouver?" he asked, enjoying the conversation.

"No�New York," Peter told him.

"Do you still have family there?" Alexander found himself wanting to know everything about the man who had won his daughter's heart.

"A brother�Mark," Peter could feel the caffeine rush through his body.

"And an ex-wife�Chloe," Peter's cards were all on the table now.

"Sounds like you've run from your share of demons, too," Alexander surmised accurately.

"I'd still be running if it weren't for Sophie," Peter explained. "She's been there for me every step of the way."

Alexander nodded appreciatively. "Seems to me you've been there for her, too."

"I let her down�" Peter sighed, placing his coffee cup on the counter.

"Why? Because you didn't tell her I was coming? Because you wanted to protect her?" Alexander prodded. "Sounds like love to me�"

"I do love her," Peter admitted freely.

"I believe you do," Alexander was positive. "And Sophie knows it�In fact, she's more sure of it than anything in this world."

Alexander's revelation startled Peter. As far as he knew, Sophie and Alexander hadn't been in contact for over three years.

"How could Alexander possibly have any idea of Sophie's true feelings for him?" The question slipped out more sharply than Peter had intended�

Alexander poured himself a coffee and settled onto the barstool next to Peter.

"Let me ask you something, Peter?" Alexander quizzed mysteriously.
"How long have you known my daughter?"

"On and off for over seven years�" Peter answered, wondering where this was leading.

"Seven years�" Alexander repeated, whistling softly. "That's a lifetime for Sophie."

"And in those seven years, how many times has she left you?" Alexander continued his interrogation.

"First time, Tibet. Second time, Nairobyi - and this time�" Peter could only imagine where Sophie had gone this time.

"Tibet?" Alexander bristled at the mention.

"Sophie told me about what happened�her mother's funeral�" Peter revealed.

"Did she?" Alexander found each tidbit of information Peter provided to be more and more illuminating.

"It's difficult reconciling with a parent�" Peter sighed knowingly.

"Ezra told me about your father's death," Alexander sympathized. "I take it you speak from experience."

"We had our difficulties�" Peter traced the rim of his coffee cup with his finger. "But we loved each other - in our own way."

"Do you have any children of your own?" Alexander wondered aloud.

"No�Chloe and I didn't have any kids," Peter replied.

Alexander nodded, pressing further. "And it doesn't bother you that Sophie can't give you children?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Peter snapped. He was growing tired of Alexander's benevolent inquisition.

"Of course, it bothers me!" Peter shouted, rising from his barstool in anger.

"What I don't understand is how it doesn't bother you�considering�" Peter stopped short, ending his tirade before he could accuse Alexander further.

The oddest look of satisfaction, relief, and regret passed over Alexander's face. Though Peter hadn't said it in so many words, Alexander could see that Peter knew. Incredibly, Sophie had found the courage and the trust to tell this man everything�every pain in her heart, she had chosen to share with Peter.

Alexander looked upon Peter with profound respect and awe. Now, it was time for Alexander to be honest, too�

"Considering if I hadn't ignored her pleas for help, she might be a mother today�" Alexander finished Peter's sentence.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that�" Peter regretted his outburst.

"No, please�don't be sorry," Alexander stepped down from his stool to stand eye to eye with Peter. "I've been waiting a long time to hear Sophie say those exact words. I only wish she would�"

"You do?" Peter was dumbfounded.

"Sophie prefers to blame her mother for everything and me for nothing - when the truth is we both hurt her," Alexander sighed deeply.

Taking his time before elaborating, Alexander paced the perimeter of Peter's living room, examining the photographs and mementos Peter had accumulated over the years. The photograph of Peter and Sophie taken at the Morp - the same photograph Peter displayed proudly in his office - sat on an end table near the couch.

Awed, Alexander traced Sophie's face with his fingertips. He'd never seen his daughter so happy. "She's beaming�"

"That was taken the night we got engaged," Peter told him, remembering the joy of that evening.

"She looks so much like her mother," Alexander took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, still fingering the photograph gently. "Maureen was a model, you know�"

"No, I didn't know that," Peter moved to sit beside him.

"A model and an older woman�" Alexander chuckled slyly, winking at Peter.

Alexander thought back to his youth - so long ago now it often felt like little more than a dream�

A strikingly beautiful woman with long blonde hair, Maureen had been almost ten years older than he was when she walked onto the flight deck one day. Alexander thought he'd died and gone to heaven. That she smiled when he looked her way seemed nothing short of miraculous. She was the Captain's sister, visiting on vacation from New York for two weeks.

Inseparable throughout her whirlwind visit, Alexander popped the question on their last night together and Maureen never returned to the States. They were married within the month and Sophie was born two days shy of her mother's thirty-ninth birthday.

"I was one of five boys," Alexander told Peter. "I just assumed I'd be the father of boys�"

"Sophie was a�novelty," he smiled, recalling his surprise.

Peter propped his elbow against the sofa cushions, settling back eagerly to hear Alexander's stories of Sophie as a little girl.

"She was the most adorable baby you've ever seen�eyes always watching you�arms always reaching for a hug. As soon as she could crawl, she was into everything. There was just no stopping her�"

Peter smiled in spite of his heartache. Alexander's description was so�Sophie. If only she were sitting beside him on the couch right now. He would relish Alexander's reminiscences so much more with Sophie wrapped snugly in his arms�

"She followed me everywhere�she knew my pre-flight checklist better than she knew her A,B,C's," Alexander laughed.

"Maureen wasn't cut out to be a military wife," Alexander offered by way of explanation. "It's a very lonely existence and our constant moving only isolated her further."

"She hated Canada - she missed New York. She needed me - but I was never home. She wanted Sophie to be a just like her - and all Sophie wanted was dear old Dad�" Using his hands as scales, Alexander weighed out the disappointments that had plagued Maureen in their marriage.

"It didn't take long for her to slip into the depression," Alexander revealed with a sigh.

"Just enough energy for her evening sherry, her weekly manicure," he continued sharply, "and a few well-aimed criticisms at Sophie�."

Alexander shook his head in regret. "Sophie's hair was too messy�her cheeks were too smudgy�Sophie would never walk the runways of Paris�"

"Maureen could always find something�" Alexander remarked sadly.

For Peter, it was all so familiar. Maureen's criticisms of Sophie were no different than his father's disappointments in him. For that matter, they were no different than the stories of half the kids who walked through Horizon's doors. Kids whose parents couldn't or wouldn't appreciate them for who and what they were. What was it Sophie had reminded him of when his father first arrived and he was wallowing in self-pity? "You're not the only one with parents, Sparky�" With a crooked smile, Peter realized just how precisely Sophie understood after all.

"Something funny?" Alexander was surprised to see the grin on Peter's face.

"Just something Sophie told me once," Peter felt her tug on his heart.

"She'll be back, Peter. I know it," Alexander reassured him, standing to leave.

"I wish I could be so sure�" Peter didn't want to wait three more years to see her.

"Sophie loves you, Peter," Alexander said softly, placing a hand on Peter's shoulder. "She's told you things she's never told anyone before�Shared parts of herself I didn't think she ever would."

"When I pushed her to come home from Tibet, what did she do? She ran straight here. To you, Peter�" Alexander reminded him gently. "She keeps coming back to you�"

"Thank you for coming�" Peter sighed, appreciating the Commander's honesty and support.

"Try and get some rest�" Alexander urged, pointing to the couch. "I'll be staying at the motel in town, if you hear anything�"

Peter nodded silently and sunk back down onto the cushions. Alexander was a complex man, to be sure. But they had spoken openly and with respect for each other's love of Sophie. It was a real beginning.

Unfortunately, the reward for all of Peter's well-intentioned efforts was that he had managed to lose Sophie in the process�.

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Replies:

Re: Say the Words - ch.27 -- dqfan, 06:50:01 03/26/03 Wed
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