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Date Posted: 01:13:21 01/04/03 Sat
Author: Sue
Subject: Re: Studs, Texas -book two- and even more angst if you can handle it.
In reply to: CCCook 's message, "Re: Studs, Texas -book two- Still NOT at the hospital" on 15:50:23 01/02/03 Thu

Setting: The Garnett family ranch.
Time: Immediately following last segment.



Sensing some hesitation on Josh’s part, Hope drew back from the kiss she had begun to initiate
only seconds before to search his returning gaze. “Is everything alright?” She asked.

A myriad of emotions flashed across Josh’s face. “No.” He finally uttered.

An uneasy feeling started to form in the pit of Hope’s stomach as she watched Josh turn, his
back now toward her. Her own suspicions had begun to rise at what she perceived was his not so
apparent attempt at rejection, and acted toward thwarting her awareness of what was really
going on. She failed to notice him reaching for the article that lay upon the vanity counter
behind them. “Did he have regrets about tonight?” She wondered unable to stop the barrage of
uncertainty that filled her as a result of his sudden reaction.

The shrill ring of the phone from the other room acted toward interrupting both of them. They
stood staring back at each other for a moment, neither making an effort to move until finally the
phone rang again. Maneuvering around Hope, Josh entered the hallway, but instead of going
back into his room, he proceeded out toward the kitchen and answered it just after the third ring.


“Hello.” He began, a touch of annoyance hinting in his voice as he wondered who would be
calling at this late hour then softening his tone when remembering it might be Shane once again.


Hope, who had followed him, looked on in question while Josh continued with the call.

“Yes.” He answered, surprise weighing heavily in his voice. “No, no. It’s okay. We were
awake.” He responded once again before adding. “Yes, yes. She’s right here.” And moving the
receiver away from himself, he handed it to her. “It’s Lena.” He replied.

If she was apprehensive before this moment, Lena’s phone call at this late hour only served to
increase this feeling of uneasiness as she hurried forward to take what Josh so offered. “Lena?”
She began, unable to stop the rush of thoughts that followed and she immediately asked. “Is
Justin okay?”

Josh watched and waited from the sidelines, leaning his back against the gold counter top more
for emotional support than physical . It was his turn to watch the array of emotions that played
across Hope’s face while remaining frustrated from the snatches of information he received
from the one sided conversation. “Good....yes....no...I didn’t know....Is it serious?....but of
course...yes...you should....no...no... of course not....no please don’t apologize....it’s only
understandable... yes...yes...I’ll be right over.... I hope everything will be okay....yes...yes...I will
be careful...yes... good bye.”

Hope shakily replaced the receiver upon the stand unaware that Josh had now moved beside her.
Unable to stop himself, he reached a comforting hand towards her lightly grasping her arm. “Is
everything alright?” He questioned, unable to check the concern that laced both his voice and
features. “Is Justin okay?” He persisted when she neither confirmed or denied his previous
query.

Hope eyed him carefully for a moment as her mind reconsidered her own reservations just
moments before. If Josh held any misgivings about what happened between the two of them
tonight, he still cared deeply enough about her son. His emotions were clearly evident upon his
face, and to put him finally at ease if only momentarily she replied. “Yes, Justin is just fine...in
fact he’s asleep in Miss Lena’s guest room.” Her acknowledgment eased the tension clouding
his features, but it was clear that there was more to the story, and Josh gestured for her to
continue.

“The reason why Lena called concerns an accident that happened tonight...just outside of town
in fact. It’s been on all the local news stations. It seems that Teddy’s daughter, Miranda, lost
control of her car somewhere near Heartbreak Hill.” What Hope was saying made little sense to
Josh at first, but she continued on. “If that wasn’t bad enough, the most recent word is that there
are unconfirmed reports that Teddy himself has been admitted to Studs General also for a
possible coronary.” Absorbing all that Hope just relayed to him, Josh remained stolid as Hope
finished with. “Lena is out of her mind with worry. Said something about her not meaning for
this to happen. She blames herself somehow... I don’t know why... She wasn’t making a whole
lot of sense to tell the truth, but the fact of the matter is she wants to get to the hospital, but she
can’t...not with Justin there. I told her I’d come right over, so she could.”

Hope’s message finally sunk in; Lena, Teddy, Miranda, and that she needed to leave. Dragging a
hand through his disheveled hair and wincing slightly as it made contact with his injury, he
moved forward. “Of course, you need to go...”

“Will you be okay?” She interrupted suddenly feeling self conscious at his returning stare, and
drew the corners of his blue robe more closely about her. Her question was never answered as
both parties heard a disturbance just outside the ranch house. The rumble of gravel beneath tire
wheels, the immediate flash of bright headlights shining through the section of panels on the
kitchen window not draped with yellow gingham, and the cessation of a car engine followed
shortly by the slam of a door sounded alerting the two of them to the impending presence of
another. A look of alarm spread over Hope’s face as the realization that they would be
momentarily interrupted hit. Staring from Josh then back down at herself, and noticing their
various states of undress she uttered quickly “I should go...” Not hesitating she turned and
hurried back toward Josh’s bedroom, but not before the back door opened with Sam’s large
frame filling it and capturing a quick glimpse of Hope’s fleeting form, while leaving Josh to
answer any and all unspoken questions now alight in his discerning blue gaze.

Just as speedily as she raced down the hallway, Hope reached for her discarded clothing meeting
resistance from their tangled remains. It wasn’t as if she and Josh had exercised any patience
when removing them, and she struggled to right them with shaky hands while putting them
back on just as hastily . In doing so, she caught bits and pieces of the conversation building in
the other room. It was impossible not to eavesdrop while as mere seconds passed the volume
of increased in pitch and
crescendo. She cringed as some of Sam’s more audible arguments reached her ears. “....in my
house....the house your mother grew up in....have you no discretion ...and with....” Hope closed
her ears to the rest, while finally achieving to place the last of her shoes upon her feet.

“ Now what to do?” She uttered. She could wait things out here, but as precious seconds ticked
slowly away the controversy short feet away showed no signs of abating. “What should she
do?” She questioned herself. “Was it fair to let Josh handled this alone? ” They both were
involved in this, but this was Sam Garnett , and under the best of circumstances his imposing
figure made her want to shrink. Shaking her head, she resolved that she couldn’t let Josh stand
alone. Dammit, the two of them were both adults not two teenagers though up till now she had
been acting like one. Why did this seasoned rancher’s manner manage to reduce her so? Gritting her teeth
and straightening her shoulders she reached for the door knob and proceeded out into the
hallway. Their words grew clearer as she approached, until at last she heard Josh mutter in
harsh frustration. “Dammit Sam, is it so wrong? Or has any attempt at feeling become utterly
foreign to this family? Have we become so devoid of emotion?” Sam stood saying nothing as
Josh’s last retort hit its mark. The two were flushed from emotion, and breathing heavily.
They failed to notice Hope’s return until Sam’s eyes narrowed into something resembling
contempt as he caught sight of the young woman.

“I’m sorry...” She began apologetically her eyes falling toward the floor as one hand reached out
to take hold of her other in awkward motion. “I should be going now...” She spoke up once again and
turned to leave, but Josh moved toward her to halt her progess.

“No, Hope...wait..” He began his body now mere inches away.

Hazarding a glance toward his face, her eyes met with his. Hers now pooled with emotion; the
cause both humiliation and shame. An inaudible oath escaped him from the futility of his
present situation. It was Sam’s one saving grace that at that moment he kept quiet, for Josh
was sure if his uncle uttered one more derogatory comment , he would have hauled off and
punched him; relative or no relative. “Hope, please....” he began again.

“I should be going Josh...” She pleaded once again, and turning from the two she headed out
the door behind them into the chill, dark night surrounding the ranch house. It wasn’t until she
reached his car, that she realized she didn’t have the keys or any other means to leave the
premises. Then the tears she had held at bay till now began to roll unchecked down her cheeks.
How could something that began so beautifully end up so disastrous? Caught up in thought,
she failed to notice Josh’s approach until at last he was beside her. Turning toward him, she
stared up at him not attempting to conceal her tears that spilled down her cheeks. She noted
that during her brief time here, he had spent his getting redressed.

Not allowing her a chance to speak, he moved forward catching her to him and enveloped her
safely within his arms. “I’m so sorry...” He breathed. “ I never meant for this to happen.”

Savoring his closeness for a few precious seconds, she finally allowed her mind to question what
he meant by this. Not allowing her thoughts to stray any further down that path she spoke up.
“I need to get going...Lena...”

“I’ll drive you.” He answered, and when he noticed her attempt to argue with him, he finished
with. “Of the two of us, I think I’m in the better shape to drive.” Drawing his arm about her, he
issued her toward the car, while out of her line of sight he directed a quick bitter gaze back
toward the ranch house.

If Sam Garnett took notice of this as he peered out the kitchen window at the departing figures,
his face showed no note of it. His mind was busy going over the altercation he had just had
with his nephew. Forming a fist out of his frustration as it played out once again in his head, he
slammed it hard into the nearby wall denting then crushing the wallboard beneath it.
“Dammit!” He uttered and not toward the damage he just caused. That could be easily
remedied he acknowledged while his previous foul mood began to dissipate. It was the fragile
relationship that now precariously floundered between himself and his nephew that worried him
more. “Why had he done the things he did...said the things he said?” If only he could have kept
a tighter lid on his anger instead of letting it boil over. He hadn’t even had the chance to ask the
boy before he left about the bandage upon his head. “Had he been in some sort of accident?”
And the girl... He understood the weight of passion full well... It had indelibly marked his own
life in both its glory and its sorrow. Shaking his head and rubbing his now sore wrist, he turned
and walked towards the forlorn silence of the empty house that now greeted him.

********************************************************************************

Hope watched from inside Lena’s apartment as Josh walked her employer toward his car. At
first Lena and declined his offer to drive her to the hospital, but when it became clear even to
herself that her overwrought emotions might prove detrimental, she acceded to his wishes.

“Poor Lena...poor Teddy...poor Miranda...poor Josh.” Hope commiserated.

A fresh wave a tears sprung to her eyes over the desperation of it all. She really should have
been the one to have taken Lena to the hospital. Josh was in no condition to be driving , though
his current injury did little to hamper his efforts on the way into town. Remembering the
troubled expression that clouded his features as he turned to leave with Lena, she couldn’t help
but wonder where he found the strength to carry on let alone stand steadily upon his two feet. If
only she hadn’t been so rattled. She might have thought to barge into their conversation while
the two made their hurried plans, but they were already out the door before she collected herself
sufficiently from all that had abounded tonight. Now alone once again, she allowed her thoughts
to wander.

“No, she wouldn’t go there!” She uttered as she attempted to halt its natural further
progression.

Why was it in her nature to harp on the past? She just would not do that tonight, and trying to
find an outlet for her energy she moved towards\ the area of Lena’s apartment that housed the
bedrooms. She needed the reassurance that Justin’s presence always provide her with, and finding
the guest bedroom, Hope stole quietly into the darkened room. There was no night light only
the limited glow of the hallway light that cast softly upon Justin’s sleeping features. He was
sound asleep,. His head buried into the pillow and his body burrowed underneath the covers. His
mouth as usual was opened slightly while his legs were drawn up. A tremulous smile formed on
her face. Oh how his presence provided her with comfort...stability...the only stability she had
known in her life till now. Josh’s presence offered her the same...or did it? Her emotions once
again playing tumultuously inside her as she thought back again to tonight. He had said he loved
her and she believed him, but what about the other factors in his life....Could he...they...their love
withstand them? She wasn’t sure. She wouldn’t allow herself to get hurt again...she couldn’t,
and she would never allow Justin to get hurt either. Until now he was the only thing that
mattered in her life. Josh’s face swam before her as her mind traveled back, and then there was
suddenly Sam looming above her with his look of contempt.... that look of contempt. She had
seen it before from one she held much dearer....

She would never forget her parents’ faces when she finally informed them of her decision to
keep her baby. The matter had been settled or so they thought. She would quietly go away and
have the baby when the time came in Houston. After that, the child would be put up for
adoption. The plans had been finalized discreetly by her parents’ attorney. She hadn’t thought
much about it as her delivery date neared. She had been too despondent. She hadn’t made plans...no
child bearing classes, no coaches...she would just have the baby and be done with
it...alone...unencumbered.

There had been no joyous celebration marking her child’s impending birth, no showers, no
baby name books, no booties, not layette, and most importantly no contact with her chid’s
father. If Evan had just called or shown up then maybe things might have been different, but as
time went on and her body blossomed further towards motherhood no hint of his return seemed
apparent.


It had been bad enough when her father found out it was Evan’s and not Remy’s baby she
carried, but when the former man’s distinct lack of regard concerning her dilemma increased in
duration, it did nothing to endear the man’s future child to his grandparent. Perhaps she was
being too bitter in respect to her father...at least at first. Upon finding out the truth from her, he
was unable to conceal his sadness over her situation, but never had he uttered a harsh word
against her or the baby she carried. And even if his disappointment with her was apparent, she
still trusted that she held his love...until that day....that day in the hospital when she finally
confronted them with the truth that she would keep her baby. He turned from her then as if
trying to contain his emotions...but she had caught the look in his eyes...a sight that she would never
forget...his contempt. Her mother had done her best to try and deflate the situation arising within
the small hospital room, reason with him, reason with them both of them, but her father had
turned and walked out...out of the hospital room...out of the building and out of her life....

Justin’s birth had been a difficult one. She had been unprepared for the long hours of
labor; the physical and emotional toll they took upon her. She had been alone save for the delivery
nurse, who did her best with an extremely busy maternity ward to lend her support and comfort
as her time drew closer, but still she never felt so alone or so ill prepared for what was about to
take place. As the intensity and the duration of the contractions increased so did her fear. The
effects her pain medication were beginning to wear off, and she cried out in desperation willing
the nurse, the doctor, the baby to come, but no one did. Later on while she was perusing a baby
magazine after Justin’s birth , she read about this last, difficult stage of labor, and she strove to make
some sense out of her experience.

Crying out in pain she wished that her mother was there with her, Rebecca, somebody... Out of
desperation she called to the last person left.

“Evan...Evan...Where are you?”

She was unsure what happened next. She wasn’t aware of when the doctor or the nurse had
reentered her room, but they were there again. Little good this knowledge did her as the world
around her swirled... was a jumble. She heard the words breathe and push, and tried to
cooperate. The face of the dark hair nurse and the masked doctor down by her feet swam in and
out of her sight. The only feelings that registered were of pain and utter emptiness.
Her continued screams filled the room around her, but even that she did not register through the
thick haze that was beginning to envelope her. She was on the brink of another
dimension...striving towards it...one without, pain one without loneliness until finally a voice
reached out to comfort her.

“That’s it, Angel, push. You’re doing good...push...yes...push...you’re doing it...you’re doing
it...you can do this sweetness...push Angel...push... That’s my baby.”

She gathered strength from that voice; found the resolve she needed to carry on and with one
finally surge of energy she bore her child into this world...her child, Evan’s child. A faint cry
filled the air around her, but the noise lasted mere seconds for the other dimension she strived
so hard to achieve began to spin precariously out of control. Her body began to tremble. She felt suddenly cold. Those around her took no notice of her discomfort
except to place a warming blanket upon her and state that this was a natural sensation for first
time mothers. The blanket did little to ease her discomfort, nor the icy chill that permeated her
limbs. Things around her began to swirl faster and faster out of control, and the words that
now sounded more urgent only produced a faint buzzing within her ears. A dark blanket closed
around her, but she felt no fear.

Opening her eyes she stared out into the dimness around her, but her heart increased with joy as she
recognized a solitary figure emerging from the shadows. .

“Evan...” She breathed her happiness increasing with the smile he returned. He moved closer,
but never quite close enough for her to touch him, to advance into his arms, to find the comfort
she longed for there, but his smile was enough. It warmed the chill inside her, and then he
spoke.

“You did good, Angel...but I always knew you would.”

“I had my baby...our baby...” came her choked reply.

“Yes, I know...” His hand reached out as if to touch her, but immediately he drew it back.
“He’s beautiful...just like you.”

“You’ve seen him then?”

“Seen, heard...” then he stopped, a glint of emotion sparking in the smoky blue depths of his
eyes, and she guessed he was about to say touched..

“He needs you, baby.”

“We had a boy?”

“Yes...” The solemness of his answer startled her as he continued on. “...and he needs you. It’s
up to you to let him know that he’s loved...by his mother...by his father.” A sadness permeated
his last words and suddenly his image began to diminish.

“Don’t go!” She faltered. “Please don’t leave me!”

“I’ll never be far away as long as he’s with you.” These were his final words and from the
shadows he had previously emerged from, his figure now withdrew.”

“Evan!” She wailed as a comforting hand reached out to stroke her brow and to take her
hand within its own. “Evan.” She repeated again, now more a whisper than a wail.

“ It’s okay Hope. We ran into a few complications, but the doctor was able to stop the bleeding.
You should be fine, and your baby is fine too.” She smiled down at the younger woman doing
her best to put her fears to rest. “Just rest now. You can see your baby later. That’s it. Close your
eyes.”

Hope did her best to comply with these instructions while a lingering chill remained throughout
the room, unnoticed by all but herself. It touched her cheek lightly in passing before she
surrendered to a more natural sleep....

Staring back down at Justin, she scrubbed her eyes clear of moisture. “How could I have ever
given you up?” She questioned quietly remembering now their first moments together. The
small, warm bundle they placed within her arms. He was swaddled in a white receiving blanket
adorned with pink and blue lambs. A small white cap had been placed over his soft downy hair
His tiny hand ventured out from beneath the folds of his blanket and when coming into contact
with her own, latched readily around her finger. Drawing her son closer her amazement only
increased as he turned towards the warmth of her body, his mouth drawing into a small pout. His
movements increased striving toward fulfillment. He began to whimper, his arms now
beginning to flail with drumming impatience. “It’s okay...it’s okay...” She hushed bringing his
small body even closer to hers, her surprise increasing when he cheek came in contact with her
flesh and he turned his face toward it, seeking, rooting until at last his grave need was fulfilled
and he suckled with contentment that only a babe would know. Seconds later the ward nurse
approached her door, but a quick glance told her that her services would not be required as she
watched the new mother with her baby and heard her soft words of love.

“So tiny, but yet so strong.” She mused as she bent her head forward to place a light kiss against
the warmth of his forehead not covered by the cap. “I will always love you and be there for you
little one....”

Hope now eased down upon the bed beside her sleeping son. Her lips found a similar warmth from his
cheek as she repeated once again her original vow.

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