| Subject: 3-11-2003 |
Author:
Ian Line
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Date Posted: 01:38:48 03/11/03 Tue
Im going to write a story. A story that has dirrection. This story is going to be completly improved. No story line or thoughts of what it might be about. I just started the on 3-10-2003. It's called "Journey."
Music is an interesting thing. Some music can give you a head ache adn other music can make you fall asleep. Other kinds of music do something with your head and makes you feel like your on some sort of drugs. Music can make you happy and it can make you mad. Music has a very diverse control over the human body. It even has a diverse control over the soul.
The ID, the ego, and the superego. Music has the effect on all of these. ID, the flesh. Ego, the mind. Superego, the spirit/soul. I believe that all three parts of us, in this theory, all are psychologicaly connect and are all a psychological thing.
We grow "old" but our bodies are always dieing and growing. My finger nails can be 3 weeks old. My skin can be 4 months old. My brain can be only a year old. Everything that makes me, me, is dieing and re growing in a shorter time than my natural life span. My memories should have been wiped clean of this body atleast within 5 years. My brain cells are always dieing and regrowing. How can memory be stored in the brain and not be lost when the brain cells die?
Does the brain pass on information down the "family line." And every once in a while there's a bad cell who wants to rebel. Then that small fragment of memory is lost?
If I'm always dieing, what makes me able to stay the same way forever? Is my memory really in my soul? When I die will my memories come with me? Are my memories really in my brain? If they say our brain holds our information wouldn't that mean our soul would be in the same area as the information? Is our soul really in our bodies? Is our soul in the same place as our bodies in a different dimension or realm? When we die are we leaving our bodies or leaving this dimension or realm? Is there really other dimensions or realms? What seperates these dimensions or realms?
I like the color blue. But I also like the color green and yellow. So what color is really my favorite color? Would it be the color of blue, yellow, and green all mixed together? Hmmmm, I wounder what color that would be. I wasn't ever that good at mixing colors. Paint is fun.
Led Zeppelin was cool. They had their own private jet. I like stairway to heaven.
Microsoft is going to turn into one of thoughs corporations like in a Japanese animie. They own everyhting in the selling circulation and run the government and military. I would be surprised if it were to happen in the future.
If the bible was writen now a days. I wonder if Microsoft would have it's name somewhere in it. It seems like they would ahve to play a part somewhere.
When I go to college, should I go for bussiness or something else? My brother and I had a cool master plan. I go for bussiness and he goes for socieology. Then we could start a bussiness and rull. Because he would know about how peoples minds work and I would know the bussiness part.
If I could I would. I would build a massive millitary and trample in on small countries and take over. I would basically be a dictator. Then I would combine my small countries together to make a non dictator country. But you would ahve to start off as a dictator. But I wouldn't beable to turn it into a people government if the people hate me. But if they fear me... no that would still be a dictatorship. I would make the perfect government. But there isn't anymore "free land", never really was, to have.
We stole this land from the Native American Indians. God given or not, I think we did the wrong thing by making war and being racial against the "NAI." I wish I could kill everyone who is and was a racist. Thoughs fuckers should die for everything they have done to people. They screwed up this world by what they have done. They made life hard for everyone. If I could just, errr I would torture every one of them. I would do it to them to where they would almost die. And if they did die I would keep them on life suport so they can feel more pain longer. Then bring them back to health to torture them more.
I'm sick in the head. I think of things that would be what most people would think of as hell. I think of killing and destruction. Cursed with evil thoughts. I try to ignore them, but the longer you ignore it the harder they come out after holding them back for so long. I enjpy first person shooter games. I think movies with realistic killing is disturbing. But after watching it the second time around the shock of it is no longer there. I think of it as growing up during a world war. War and killing and destruction become part of life. Something that you daily see and feel.
It all started when my brother and I would draw these "torture chambers" we called them. Of stick men falling into pits of death or being shot at by every weapon we could think of. When I look at the pictures today and after my movie experiances. Our pictures match up to what the Nazi's did to the Jews. Cause we always had the ones with the hats and the guns hearding the ones with nothing around to their death. Every once in a while when I'm board I'll make one. It's interesting and it's a good time waister when there's nothing else to do.
I had a vision. My hands had dirt on them as I was typing.... This reminds me of my visions I had ever since I can remember. Visions of landscape I'm looking at, it turns to a war zone. Eather where one was or where one currently is. Because of these visions I am always on the read no matter where I am to defend myself. I train myself how to shoot weapons and make weapons and traps. Forts, buildings, electronics. Anything I can get my hands on that might be usefull for communication protection defense and hiding.
I sometimes get this feeling that all that I am prepairing for will do nothing for me. The time will come and a stray bullet will catch me and I'll bit the dust. But at the same time I have a feeling I would be able to survive and make it through a war. But I also fear for myself and the world. What if all that I'm learning goes for the bad but yet the good of the world. What if I end up trying to conquer the world and fulfill the proficies of the Bible. What if I become the anti christ? What if you don't want to be? I fear education for what it might bring upon the future generations.
Use history as our weapon against the futures destruction. I see the United States of America and the Roman Empire as one. We are on the same role as the Roman Empire. Barbarians destroyed the Roman Empire while they were out conquering the world. We are out "making peace". Countries betray the Roman Empire. Countries seem as if they may betray the USA. It is said to say but true if histiry repeats itself, we are on the decline of our country. I hope after our fall that the future "Roman Empire" or "USA" listens to history. Yet I'm glad that this may happen. It might set back the anti christ. Or it might speed it up. We do not know the future. But we know the past and what it has to say about the future and what might come.
I'm tired. I am going to go to my couch and sleep. I hope I will fall asleep right away. I don't like sitting around for and hour and a half or how ever long it is. I like sleep but it doesn't like me. I fall alseep way too late and I have been waking up way too early in the past few days. I try to sleep in but then I sleep in too long and I get to school late and Mrs. Galambus gets upset adn Mr. Galambus hates me I think. Nichole hates me and Chris. And Nate I don't think nate hates me. He seems cool around me. I don't like making people mad. It makes me feel bad. Bad enough to give up and leave them alone. Then I feel lonely because I had to leave for their happiness to come back. But Mrs. Galambus doesn't want me to leave. So it makes me feel a little better.
Im tired. Noise is anoying. Fuzz from tv is bad. Clicker in the frigerator is loud. The light on the vrc is bright and the pendgulum on the clock in the bathroom is loud as hell. My cats play and when they don't they purr too loud. My hair getting in my face. I want to sleep on my stomache but my neck hurts in the morning. When I sleep on my back I don't sleep. I hate sleep but I love it.
I put a pillow over my face and sufficate myself to sleep. The lack of ozygen slows down the heart and there isn't a lot of oxygen going to the brain so you begin to get sleepy. After the sleepy affect comes in then you can relax with the pillow under your head.
Another methood I like is the hyperventilation methood. Pull the blanket over your head and close your eyes. Your breathing makes it get warm. You begin to get tired from thw armth then after a while they isn't much oxygen under the blanket then you begin to loose oxygen to the brain and you begin to fall asleep. This way is safer than the pillow. Cause with this you can fall asleep and the blank will naturally uncover your face. With the pillow you will fall asleep with it still on your face and you could die from suffication. Eather way is an exciting way to go to bed. Cause you may never wake up.
I was thinking about dieing in your sleep. Would someone tell you if you were still dreaming or dead? How would you know the difference? What if you went to hell in your sleep, that would be scary.
Sometimes I think that I'm still asleepa nd that this is just a long dream. Cause sometimes I won't remember events or even a whole entire day or series or days or on a rarer occasion a whole week. I wonder if I'm a different person on the occasions when I can't remember a day or week. I also wonder if I'm in something like from "Vanilla Sky."
Im tired. I'm going to bed now. Have good... stuff. Remember, the Alamo. A popular tree.
Leave-taking.
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