Re: Gurgling Waters -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 08:06:55 06/10/02 Mon
Author: sp99
Author Host/IP: pool-63.53.141.110.nwrk.grid.net / 63.53.141.110
Subject: Re: Gurgling Waters
In reply to: Gemini 's message, "Re: Gurgling Waters" on 05:14:23 06/10/02 Mon

Hi Gem.,

Great to see you again...*smiles*....and please,
let me let you know I truly value what you say
with good reasons and I appreciate it since I have
SO much to learn which includes discipline within
my work as well!!! *grin* Part of the problem is,
don't yet have much local contact with other writers
as of yet, hopefully I can change that this summer
coming...*smile*....and I sadly must admit, my
knowledge of metre is somewhat lacking and then there
are some also who like the way I startle them within
a poem with the metre change....but if I don't know,
I can't learn and that is why I truly appreciate your
comments....and hoping you enjoy my lastest one which
I post right now and come back later after my 12 hour
communting and work day to comment further on others
as I love reading different styles than mine!!!
Cheers, SuSanne P.S. Thanks ever for your encourgement
that you have given me as well....truly warms the cockles
of my poetic heart!!! *smiles*

>Hi Susanne,
>It's me again !!
>As the river flows,
>gently to the shore.
>5 syllables in each line.
>This poem as you said does flow better.
>I find that the metre is a bit disjointed.
>I like ( doesn't mean it's better!) verses that keep
>roughly the same tempo troughout the poem.
>You more or less keep this up for the first 3 verses
>then it changes completely for the 4th, (tell me you
>know and intended this for some other effect and i'll
>go away tail between legs).
>For me a poem has to keep to roughly the same metre
>for the whole piece to say that it flows well. But
>that is me !
>And some poems are not intended to flow well, make you
>pause or emphasise at precise places, I don't know I'm
>not that clever i just like simple stuff !!
>For me - try writing a poem free verse 4 lines per
>stanza with lets say 6565 format and keep to it
>throughout. Without the rhyme this is easier ( I think
>!!)
>You don't have to of course.
>
>Regards
>Gem x
>
>
>> >>color=indigo>
>>GURGLING WATERS
>>
>>
>>The water gurgling
>>Awakes her from sleep
>>With her dreaming
>>Of images to keep.
>>
>>Of a beautiful spring day
>>Wrapping her with lush
>>Of reborn, in the month of May
>>While the river speaks gush.
>>
>>Bird's songs peek out of trees
>>Into realms of fresh air
>>As insects buzz an encore
>>For sounds beyond compare.
>>
>>Stretching, she remembers her dream
>>Where the majority evolved
>>Without any government schemes
>>For lack of sensitively being solved.
>>
>>For beings to discover the joy
>>Of positive good to promote
>>Without thought of self ploys,
>>Very well, coming from worlds remote.
>>
>>Oh what a dream
>>That can quietly grow
>>As a stone tossed into a still pond
>>Or seeds, that poetically .. we Poets sow.
>>
>>
>>� SuSanne &*_*&
>>4/5 May '02~smb.powell
>>All rights reserved
>>
>> >>color=indigo>

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