Re: Uprooting Buddha - WOW! amazing poem -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 23:45:19 07/06/02 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheM04b.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.194.14
Subject: Re: Uprooting Buddha - WOW! amazing poem
In reply to: paul 's message, "Uprooting Buddha" on 17:35:22 07/06/02 Sat

Welcome to Unicorn Paul - and what an entrance!

This is an amazing poem and has to be read right through several times to be fully appreciated. I would never have thought of some of your ideas 'orgasm dinner napkins' - where do you go out for dinner???! Seriously though, you have some great metaphorical imagery and the poem has a fast pace so the reader is overwhelmed by the incredible ideas. I liked this:

'I sit on my mountaintop underneath you
ride clouds like motorcars
fueled on breezes and words'

however I think the repetition of 'fueled' on the next line may be better changed to another similar word, perhaps 'charged with ideas'.

Your words seem to hurl the reader through a whirlwind passing so many contrasting scenes and bizarre imagery and amazing imagery 'words floating with vagina
dialogues' to 'Drunken teabagged eyes'
- certainly more than interesting.

You don't need the apostrophe in this line as " it's " should read "its"

'like Brazil lost it's forests'

This poem was absolutely amazing and left my breathless. However, it is one that I would wish to read several times more and each time I am sure I would discover something more. I wonder what Al will make of it.

I would adore it if you would post Bohemian Astrophysics also.

Raphaela

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Replies:

Re: Uprooting Buddha -- sp99, 12:18:36 07/07/02 Sun

Re: Uprooting Buddha -- Gemini, 04:47:16 07/11/02 Thu