Re: Rain -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 21:57:26 08/13/02 Tue
Author: Kavindra
Author Host/IP: dsc01.sfr-ca-5-102.rasserver.net / 204.30.201.102
Subject: Re: Rain
In reply to: AAAAGGGSSS 's message, "Re: Rain" on 21:19:54 08/13/02 Tue

Thanks for your suggestions. It does seem a bit confusing at times, I know (I just wrote this today). Anyways, it was supposed to be sort of a one sided thing, where someone is trying to "hold on" when someone is trying to let go.
Thanks again for your suggestions!

>Hi,
>
>This is an interesting poem and quite excellent,
>although there are some areas that just don't make
>sense, and also there appear to be some incongruity
>problems. Let me point them out kindly:
>
>Rain pours down my face
>Not a patch of blue in sight
>Clouds have sewn up this whole place
>nothing's shining bright.
>
>Now this is an excellent verse, make no mistake about
>that, however the last line
>
>nothing's shining bright absolutely positively fails
>to get your meaning ie message across. "Nothing" as
>it were, has no ability to shine. Now even if you
>were to say, no Al, I meant the invisible things of
>life, the real meaningful things, still you failed on
>that line. It is only my sheer brilliance as a reader
>that allows me possible to see you may have meant
>that, no, just kidding, hehe, but I really didn't get
>it.
>
>Now, in this line"
>
>I am grasping the rope
>About to tear apart
>Held together by hope
>Held together by my heart.
>
>you are seeming to say that you have to do it
>yourself, that is the hope is YOURS, the heart is
>YOURS and it all seems to spell that it is your
>responsibility to hold it together. However, -
>
>in the very next line, you are pleading, it seems,
>with someone else to aid and assist you -
>
>Please don't let it break
>Please don't let go
>The ground's about to shake
>Oh, don't let go.
>
>
>So all in all, that part I missed, to me it doesn't
>make sense. Somehow it wasn't spelled out clearly
>enough for me. Now keep in mind, I think this is an
>excellent poem, and I would probaby grade it an A
>anyway, Thanks Al

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