Re: Visual Eyes of the 25 -- Unicorn

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Date Posted: 20:53:17 07/07/02 Sun
Author: AAAAGGGSSS
Author Host/IP: dialup-65.58.189.71.Dial1.Stamford1.Level3.net / 65.58.189.71
Subject: Re: Visual Eyes of the 25
In reply to: SuSanne 's message, "Visual Eyes of the 25" on 16:16:36 07/07/02 Sun

Hi SuSanne,

I think there was some interesting seed thought there, but that you got somewhat bored and also decided, whether intentionally or not, to add rather harsh and abrasive editiorialism which added nothing to the poem whatsoever. I am specifically referring to

Soothing without small print mentioning
How they rape you with interest
So if or when the car breaks down
It forces double payments

I'm not sure where that came from, but from other peoms your've written I can take a good guess, hehe. :)

this part here also indicates you are bored and doing the equivalent of doodling in your poem:

Bus after bus or maybe a train or two
Mayhap a train, bus, train
To bus, train, bus of what a bust.
Sometimes adding mental pain,
Other times, what a humanity gain

you have to admit this is very lost.

this makes no sense to me either :

In 99 degrees of Midnight?

What is 99 degress of Midnight ? Are days dividable into degrees ? or the stoke of 12 divable into degrees? Did you mean it was 99 degrees temperature ? See it is just too terribly unclear as to what the meaning is supposed to be for me, and robs me of the ability to understand what it is you are trying to say.

I think what you attempted to say was pretty, but the xtra's added nothing for me anyway, and seemed like cartoons, hehe, smile. Tried to get this one right. Al

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Replies:

Re: Visual Eyes of the 25 -- sp99, 21:29:50 07/07/02 Sun
- Re: Visual Eyes of the 25 -- AAAAGGGSSS, 10:46:36 07/08/02 Mon
  - *grin* Thanks ALL!!! -- sp99, 08:11:10 07/09/02 Tue