Re: Visual Eyes of the 25 -- Unicorn

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 21:29:50 07/07/02 Sun
Author: sp99
Author Host/IP: pool-63.53.132.140.nwrk.grid.net / 63.53.132.140
Subject: Re: Visual Eyes of the 25
In reply to: AAAAGGGSSS 's message, "Re: Visual Eyes of the 25" on 20:53:17 07/07/02 Sun

thanks Al, about this:
"Soothing without small print mentioning
How they rape you with interest
So if or when the car breaks down
It forces double payments"
If one takes a short term car loan, paid
$1000. down of a $3000. car and when you loan is
paid off [along with paying the highest car insurance
rates in the USA] and you finally get the papers to
find you have paid a $1000. in interest on this tiny
$2000. short term loan [a year]
would you not call that rape and the kind that
can happen to men as well? About the bored part, hehe,
For what should be a 40 minute or less commute by car,
I spend 3 1/2 up to 4 1/2 HOURS a day so was trying
to communicate what that is like for those who have
no idea what it is to commute like that and yes my friend,
it was 99 degrees of heat at midnight, after being 105
during the day. We had just come through a whole city
without lights due to a blackout. And thank you for
showing what might be considered weakness in my poem.
I shall take your words into consideration when I have
time for a rewrite.

Susanne

>Hi SuSanne,
>
>I think there was some interesting seed thought there,
>but that you got somewhat bored and also decided,
>whether intentionally or not, to add rather harsh and
>abrasive editiorialism which added nothing to the poem
>whatsoever. I am specifically referring to
>
>Soothing without small print mentioning
>How they rape you with interest
>So if or when the car breaks down
>It forces double payments
>
>I'm not sure where that came from, but from other
>peoms your've written I can take a good guess, hehe.
>:)
>
>
>this part here also indicates you are bored and doing
>the equivalent of doodling in your poem:
>
>Bus after bus or maybe a train or two
>Mayhap a train, bus, train
>To bus, train, bus of what a bust.
>Sometimes adding mental pain,
>Other times, what a humanity gain
>
>you have to admit this is very lost.
>
>this makes no sense to me either :
>
>In 99 degrees of Midnight?
>
>
>What is 99 degress of Midnight ? Are days dividable
>into degrees ? or the stoke of 12 divable into
>degrees? Did you mean it was 99 degrees temperature ?
> See it is just too terribly unclear as to what the
>meaning is supposed to be for me, and robs me of the
>ability to understand what it is you are trying to
>say.
>
>I think what you attempted to say was pretty, but the
>xtra's added nothing for me anyway, and seemed like
>cartoons, hehe, smile. Tried to get this one right.
>Al

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Re: Visual Eyes of the 25 -- AAAAGGGSSS, 10:46:36 07/08/02 Mon
- *grin* Thanks ALL!!! -- sp99, 08:11:10 07/09/02 Tue