Subject:  Cory's Eye's Chapter 3 |
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Slash/Ac
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Date Posted: 19:33:32 01/15/03 Wed
I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. I didn’t want to ring the doorbell, it was really early in the morning; and waking Sean up at this time of the day was definite suicide. I’m not sure how I know that, I just do.
Terri opened the door, and the moment she saw who was there she got a huge grin on her face. “Oh my, well isn’t this a pleasant surprise. Come on in Cory, can I get you something to drink?”
I walked into the foyer and closed the door. “Hum, ya, I could use a glass of water, thanks. Is Sean up yet?” I sat down on the bench, which Terri had beside the door, and started to undo my shoes.
“No, he’s still sleeping. He should be up in about an hour. You can go wake him up if you want; but I don’t think you really want to do that. Not if you like your head where it is anyways.” Terri laughed at the comment, and then proceeded to the kitchen to get a glass of water for me.
“Oh maybe I’ll just wait for him to get up. Would it be alright if I take a shower though? I stink somethin’ fierce.”
Terri laughed, “Sure you can, sweetie. While you’re having your drink, I’ll get you a clean towel and some clean clothes. I don’t think Sean will mind if you wear his clothes today.” Terri placed the glass on the kitchen table, and then went to get what I needed.
I went into the kitchen where Terri had left me my glass. After I finished the glass of water, I went into the bathroom, turned on the water to let it warm up first, and then started to undress for my shower. The warm water felt soothing on my skin as it ran down me. I stood there, just letting the water wash away all the sweat from my run and the dirt in my mind. The clouds that blurred my mind were, for a short while, cleared and forgotten. My mind was vacant of any thoughts what so ever, as the steaming hot water coursed down my body. I was lost in nothing, but searching through everything.
I must have been in there for quite a while; because the bitter cold of the water suddenly brought me back to reality. I finished up as quickly as possible, and started to towel myself off. I took my time getting dressed, making sure that I looked as nice as possible. Terri had extremely good taste in clothes and had picked out something that she thought I would look good in, baggy 501 red tag blue Levis and an olive colored t-shirt. I fixed my hair up so it looked as good as I could; it never goes exactly how I want it though. I try to style it the same way the barber does, but I can’t seem to get it just right. I took one last look in the mirror, and when I was satisfied with what I saw looking back at me, I made my way back to the living room to watch some cartoons while I waited for Sean to wake up.
“Cory, will you be a dear and go wake Sean up. He must have had a late night last night, and if he doesn’t get up soon, he’ll have another late night tonight.” Terri asked.
“Sure thing Terri, will do.” I walked up the stairs and opened Sean’s door. There he was, lying in bed, asleep. He looked so beautiful sleeping…yes I said beautiful. He looked like an angel dropped down form the heavens. I stood there looking at him sleep, looking down on him as he dreamt about who knows what. He looked so peaceful, and relaxed, like he had no cares in the world. It was then that an enormous rush of warmth ran through my body. Images, well not so much images, but feelings of images, flashed through my mind. This was the most intense feeling I had felt yet. My vision left me, and my arms and legs tingled. Somehow, I knew this was a good feeling, that I shouldn’t be worried or scared. I let the feeling run its course just like Mark had told me to do. It flowed like the hot lava from a volcano, but didn’t burn. It was an intense moment to say the least! When I opened my eyes, I knew that the figure that lay in front of me was someone special. Not only special as a brother; but also as someone whom I love more than anyone, or anything, in this world. The thought of it was relaxing and yet confusing.
Just then, I remembered why I was there. I walked over to his bed and sat beside him. So many possibilities went through my mind on how to wake him up. I considered them carefully, and decided that the best way for him to wake up would be in laughter. I reached under the blanket and felt around for his feet. I found one and started to tickle it. The touch of his foot sent a flashing spear through my mind, like I had done this before. Then, the strangest thing happened. I felt an uncontrollable twitching in my pants. All the blood went rushing from my head, down through my body and straight to my Cory Jr. He rose to the sky like the smoke from a fire. There I sat, holding Sean’s foot with my hand, and Cory Jr. popping up to say hello.
I let go of Sean’s foot as fast as I could. “What the hell is going on here? Why is Cory Jr. up and about?” A million thoughts ran through my mind. I looked back at Sean, who hadn’t moved a muscle, and I knew right then and there. All of the feelings I had felt towards him were now so clear. Images were coming back to me faster than my brain could comprehend. The one that stood out and imbedded itself in my mind was Sean, the look on Sean’s face to be exact. It was the look of love, happiness, and pure joy, time and time again reappearing through the mess of images. Just the thought of me touching Sean like this and Cory Jr. looking around scared me, but that look, that look on Sean’s face, brought a calm and relaxing sensation over me. The thought of me being gay was scary, but I knew, from that moment, that I had told him and that he had accepted me, and still loved me in spite of it.
I calmed Cory Jr. down and started to tickle Sean’s foot again. Again Cory Jr. rose to the occasion and again, I tried to calm him down but the feeling was too over powering for me. I did my best to hide it from view, and continued looking for Sean’s foot. It took a little work to find the spot; but when I did, he awoke in a fit of laughter. Sean jumped to his knees and looked at me with those beautiful eyes, and said, “Uhhhhmmm, watch it bro, you’re about to end up in a puddle!” He got up and ran past me, through the doorway, and into the bathroom. I thought for a second, and then let my mind do what it does best, get me into trouble. I followed him to the bathroom and stood at the door. He must have had to go real bad; because he didn’t even notice me standing there watching him.
As I stood there watching him, it brought back another feeling, a feeling that brought a smile to my face. Sean turned his head, and for the first time saw me standing there. The look on his face went from an initial look of shock, to a look of happiness; it was priceless. He smiled at me and said, “Hey there bro, you like what you are seeing? Don’t worry, I don’t mind.”
I smiled and gave him a look to show him my answer. The grin he gave back was as if he knew that I would like it. He finished up what he was doing, washed his hands, and said that he was going to go make me breakfast. He put his arm around my shoulder and we walked together downstairs to the kitchen.
Sean went straight to the cupboard and got out a box of Lucky Charms. He set the box on the table as he walked past it on the way to get the bowls. I sat in one of the chairs at the table while he finished getting the necessities we needed for our breakfast. He sat in the chair across from me and we started to dig in.
We were on our second bowl each, when a thought came to me. I sat there and tried to come up with the right way to say it; but the harder I racked my brains, the more the words became twisted like a heap of tangled thread. I looked around the room, and saw it for the first time in a new light. I saw the way Terri had all of her collectible spoons hanging in perfect alignment in their antique case; and the way she had all of her spices labeled and sitting on the rack. It was all the same as the last time I had seen it, but this time was different. This time it seemed like something was missing, or more accurately, someone.
“Why can’t I stay here, like this, forever?” I thought about that for a second; and turned to Sean and said, “Umm Sean, after breakfast could we talk for a bit? Something real weird is happening, and I need to talk about it, I feel like I’m going nuts here.”
Sean looked up from his bowl and replied, “Sure thing bud, any time you want.”
We finished off the box of Lucky Charms, and headed for the rec room. I closed the door behind us as Sean headed straight to the beanbag chair. My mind was racing with so many questions, so many why’s and why nots. I walked slowly to the beanbag chair and sat down with him.
Sean put his arm around my shoulder and asked, “What’s wrong bud?”
I looked down at the floor and said, “You gotta promise not to laugh at me first.”
“Bro, I could never hurt you like that, I promise not to laugh.”
I looked up and stared him right in the eye, held up my hand and extended my pinky finger, “You got to pinky swear that you won’t laugh.”
Without hesitation Sean wrapped his pinky around mine and said, “I pinky swear not to laugh or make fun of you. I promise.”
I cuddled in closer into him trying to find the words I wanted. Sean had tightened the hold he had around me in a comforting way. I felt safe and close to him at that moment, and didn’t want it to end. The beating of his heart, and the warmth of his breath, mesmerized me. I felt Sean’s hand run through my hair and slowly start to massage the back of my head.
After a few moments Sean turned to me and kissed me on the cheek, “OK bro, whenever you are ready, I’m here for you.”
I looked up at Sean and saw that look in his eyes, the same look as the ones I saw in my images. It brought a tear to my eye seeing him sitting there, giving his undivided attention to me. I couldn’t help but to look back down at my feet, and then began speaking. “I think I’m going crazy. I’m scared to tell my shrink what’s been happening, he would probably make me stop coming over here or something, and I couldn’t handle that. It feels like I belong here, with you and Terri, not at the home … and over the last week some weird things have been happening to me.”
I needed a short pause; but when I looked back up at Sean he was crying tears of happiness. I could tell because he had a smile spread across his face. He grabbed a hold of the back of my head with both of his hands, starred deep into my eyes, seemingly almost into my soul, and said, “Cory, if you are going to say what I think you are about to say, don’t worry. You are not going nuts, I noticed a couple of things yesterday and this morning, but I was afraid to ask. I love you, bro; if it’s what I think it is, I’ll try to help explain it to you as much as I can.”
Sean pulled me in closer and gave me a loving embrace. I broke down in his arms and let the water works flow. He just sat there and held me close to him, slowly rubbed the back of my arm. I think I heard the door open and close, but I was too far-gone to really care.
We sat there together for what must have been an hour. Just the two of us sitting together, holding each other in each others arms, made all the problems in my life fade away. I felt closer to him than anyone else in the world.
I looked up at Sean and let the words flow out of control. “For the last week or so it seems ... umm... it’s like... well... I feel like there’s something I’m missing, kinda like I’m here but not really all here. It’s like this morning, when I saw you taking a leak, I felt like I’ve done that before, yet this is the first time I really remember doing that. Then yesterday when we were playing on the emulator, I had this weird feeling that it had been set up for US!”… Just then a chilling thought crept into my mind.
“Mikey set it up for US!!… Why … why … why did it have to be him … why was it Mikey ... why did Mikey have to die???” I looked up at Sean and cried, “Why do I have to live at the home ... don’t you want me anymore?? I thought you loved me???”
At that moment Sean had taken all that he could handle. He broke down in tears but was able to muster enough energy to sob, “I DO love you bro. I don’t know how to prove it, but I still do. Mom can explain why you had to go to the home better than I can. But maybe now you can come back here, with me. I would like to show you something I found, on a site I’ve been visiting, first though. Maybe it will help you see what I’m feeling, then we can talk some more.”
That was it. That was the breaking point for me. I knew from that moment that he absolutely DID love me, and that he DID want me here with him. I was right, I knew I belonged here and not at that “home”. I looked into his eyes, and began to give him a peck on the cheek. At the last moment I turned towards him and planted the biggest, most intimate, closed mouth kiss he ever had, smack on the lips.
As we separated, Sean looked up at me and said, “I Love you Cory, always have, and always will.”
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