Subject:  All about my trip |
Author:
No one
| [ Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 13:51:41 09/05/01 Wed
My trip to Shangri La.... a.k.a. corner of Clark and Kent
(or there-abouts.. LOL)
First off I would like to thank all the little people that made this trip possible... I can't think of who they are right now.. but that's okay.. I won't bore you with all the insignificant details. So no little people talk, unless something was their fault.
The trip there was complete hell.. why don't people just recognize how special I am and instantly make sure that I travel in the best, fastest and most kick ass way? I actually had to change planes at O'Hare, and got lost in the terminal, had to ask directions only to find out that I was at the complete opposite end of where I was supposed to be. If I wanted to make it to the right gate, I would have to walk fast. *%#$! I saw this guy that was just sitting on his Little Rascal scooter, not going anywhere.. so I figured he would sympathize with my plight. I asked him if I could borrow his scooter. Wouldnt you know it, he started complaining about not being able to walk more than a few steps without having severe shooting pains and then he started going on and on about his back problems. Well, I didn't have time to listen to this drivel. I told him "THANKS ALOT BUDDY!!" and I high-tailed it over to a phone to see if they would hold the plane till I got there. The lady that I got a hold of must have worked for the DMV in a previous life. After putting me on hold, she got back on to ask me what my problem was.... (LOL where have I heard that one before!!) I being the totally cool and classy person I am, told her to $&%-off... and decided if anyone was going to get me to that gate, it would have to be me!! So I started to run as fast as I could, in my mini skirt and leather jacket that buttoned up diagonally. I was quite the eye catcher. I saw one sky cap that I just know would have liked to take me out for a nice steak dinner. But I couldnt, even though I hadn't eaten in four days.... I had to catch that flight no matter what. I got there just as the gate was closing, I screamed at them to not close the gate, because they needed to wait for me.. I threw my ticket at the boarding person, and ran to the little shute ramp thing that goes into the airplane. The stewardess there stopped me and told me I needed my boarding pass.. what a *$&@@$#!! I glared and pointed at the boarding person that had taken my ticket and screamed "She didnt give me my boarding pass" I was furious at this point. She came over and handed the stewardess my pass and they let me on... finally. I was the last person on the plane.. and you know what that means? I had to sit in the most yuckiest seat in the whole plane. Next to this girl with a baby, with an old man on the other side that smelled like moth balls. I asked if I could change places with this lady in the row in front of me that was sitting next to a BABE of a man.... but again I was denied and told that being that they were married they wanted to sit together. Well the plane took off finally, and since I hadn't had a chance to smoke a butt in between my flights, due to the sucky airport and everyone that works there, I lit up right there. I got a few puffs out and was asked by the only male stewardess to "extinguish it now". I plea bargained........... "only if you bring me a drink!"... "I want a lemondrop martini!" They brought me a little bottle of Smirnoff... GOOD ENOUGH!! The rest of the flight was pretty good. I laughed the whole way.... and made tons of friends. I thanked them all after everyone picked me up body surfed me to the front of the plane in an attempt to show me how great I am. Buffalo airport unfortunatly was not as welcoming.. when I woke up I was in one of those uncomfortable airport chairs with my luggage under my feet and a sign around my neck that said "DANGER" on it. I don't know who did that to me, but if I ever find out, there will be #*!! to pay!! WHATEVER.. I had hoped the fine people of Buffalo would welcome me as if I were a child come home after a long stay at summer camp...This did not turn out to be the case, I found the people at the airport to be cold and unhelpful. Nobody wanted to split the cost of a limo ride!! The nerve of them. I ended up taking a taxi to my final destination.. THE HOUSE... mecca..... the promised land..
When I arrived, it was late, the house was dark and I was tired, and a little hung-over.. LOL..so I opened the door with the key that was left for me under the doormat. The house had a strange smell to it. Like some kind of ethnic meal was cooking. I paid no attention, there would be time tomorrow for investigation. I curled up in a little ball in the corner of the living room and fell asleep. I have a tremendous knack for being able to do that ever since my college days. LOL... (one of the best things I learned while there, and it only cost several tens of thousands of dollars.. LOL.)
When I woke up the house was great, everything was just as I knew it would be..(I'm so in touch with this whole Rzeznik thing) The walls had been painted, and the carpeting had been changed.. but there was still indentations in the closet by the snow porch where they measured my little Johnny while he was growing into the fine speciman of a man that he is now. ... ... .. : )
The bathroom fixtures were still the same.. (thank god) the first thing I was going to do was take a bath!! blah blah blah blah.. the house seemed to be alive.. blah blah blah blah.. there were many strange things to see and.. I felt as if someone was watching me.. blah blah blah.. I tried some automatic writing while I was there and wrote eight songs.. all rocking..but I can't share them because I was warned not to. blah blah blah... I had strange dreams, that I will cherish, because I know that they mean something really really profound. I did ouiji board readings almost every evening...but the only thing that kept being spelled out.. was "GO HOME"... I didnt understand.. what could it mean.. I felt like I was home already. blah blah blah.. I walked away with a deeper understanding of the man.... Now nobody will be able to tell me anything that I dont' already know...(like they ever could.. LOL)... I am the bonifide expert in all things Johnny... YOU SHOULD ALL WORSHIP ME NOW.. As you can see it humbled me a little. Anyone important (and you know who you are!!) reading this should realize how big a fan I am... and how much trouble I went through.. and how I am actually probably, very intune, compatible, and see how much I understand them.. *wink wink* that if they ever wanted to get in touch with me.. they can find me.. right here.. at this board.. or email.. (since I am also emailing this to the guys.. LOL)... so I think GOOd things are instore for me now.
I do rock!!
No one
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
] |
|
Feedback: 
Re: All about my trip
Re: All about my trip