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Date Posted: 14:49:27 07/16/07 Mon
Author: Hugh Jazz
Subject: CATCHING UP: The Condemned, Spider-Man 3, 28 Weeks Later, Pirates 3, Shrek 3, Ocean's 13, Evan Almighty, Live Free or Die Hard AND Transformers

These are all the movies I've seen in the last 3 months since I posted about the advance screening of Knocked Up.

The Condemned
I paid to see Stone Cold Steve Austin kick major ass. He only kicked minor ass. Too much emphasis on the behind-the-scenes of the illegal website that was sponsoring the deathfest. They should have written more dialogue for Stone Cold. He has a natural charm and screen presence for this kind of movie. He shouldn't be upstagged by that soccer goon Vinnie Jones. I saw this alone on opening weekend with about 6 other single males. I'm pathetic.

Spider-Man 3
When Peter Parker pushed that whiny bitch Mary-Jane down I said outloud "'bout time!" The lady next to me did not find that amusing. Seriously, Mary-Jane was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO annoying, she almost ruined the movie. Too many plots going on at the same time. The end battle saved it for me.

28 Weeks Later
Another one I saw by myself. I suck. Not bad. There are 2 good horror scenes in this movie, the opening at the cottage and the helicopter in the field. The rest is blah. Robert Carlylse popping up over and over again when his children are around just wasnt' believable to me.

Pirates 3
Long. Hard to follow. Strangely, I liked it. Depp is the balls massage as Jack Sparrow.

Shrek The Third
Funny enough.

Oceans Thirteen
Enjoyable. I thought it lacked a little bit of the razzle-dazzle of the first one, but the performances and characters were well-rounded here. Why is Ellen Barkin famous?

Evan Almighty
Preachy. Wanda Sykes is the best part of this movie. What does that tell you?

Live Free or Die Hard
I'm sorry, Die Hard isn't Die Hard without the f-bombs. It bothered me that they went out of their way to make this a PG-13 movie. So much so that parts of the movie are so badly edited it doesn't look like the character who is supposed to be speaking is even moving his mouth. Still, some great action sequences and Willis was fun to watch. Justin Long wasn't annoying as the sidekick. Kevin Smith seemed out of place.

Transformers
I really liked this movie. I did feel that the humorous dialogue was THIS CLOSE to making the movie campy, but it didn't quite cross that line. This movie was made for people like me. In their thirties, grew up watching the cartoons. I'm not too ashamed to say that I got choked up when Optimus Prime introduced himself.

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