Author:
Wicked Lord Bashamoodee
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Date Posted: 03:48:51 01/06/03 Mon
In reply to:
Random Voy Visitor
's message, "Geez, bitter much?" on 20:52:01 05/01/02 Wed
The print of AOTC I saw involved the sinister disillusioned Jedi Warlord Fife (a convincing and rather malicious Don Knotts) working in conjunction with fellow evildoers Dooku/Tyranus/Dracula/Saruman (Lee, who is all things to all men, despite what that pithy faggot has to say) and Master Exitium (the rotted, decaying, bloated corpse of Frank Sinatra) building a weapon akin to the Death Star that will be used to destroy New Jersey.
Obi-Wan is effectual in trying to stop them, but ultimately, Anakin manages to both end the galactic conflict and please his maiden Amidala using his enormous, throbbing manhood, which he uses in a final naked duel with Darth Maul (Ray Park, that wonderful British hunk whose body is as smoldering as the lightsaber that hewed him in two!). After both of their hard sculpted bodies are tired and worn, they collapse only to be pleasured by Jenna Jameson and Jewel DeNyle. Then Snoop Dogg uzis Han Solo, Princess Leia shoves a cucumber in her vagina and sings "Nobody Does It Better," Sean Connery explodes, Marilyn Chambers drives a motorcycle through a window, Lucio Fulci comes back from the dead and rapes LeeAnn Taylor, and the entire cast of Lord of the Rings get into a circle jerk while Tom Welling runs around shirtless absorbing everyone's globs of heaping, steaming man jism. Then he oils up and fucks Asia Carera in a forty-five minute fuck scene, followed my a beautiful montage of Bela LUgosi raping Ewoks and then being shot out of a cannon at Big Ben in London.
It was all right. Kind of dragged ... editing could have been a little tighter, some of the acting was so-so. I give it two our of eight stars.
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