| Subject: Things That Piss off your Video Store Clerk |
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Pam
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Date Posted: 02:23:15 10/10/02 Thu
These are actual cases. Only the names have been omitted to protect the idiotic.
Customer comes in to rent a movie, and I mention their $3.24 cent late charge. Customer says they shouldn't have to pay because they returned it yesterday, when it was due. I pull up the transaction, and see that it was returned 5 minutes after we closed the night before. Movies are due back at 6:00, but we don't charge until after 8:00. Customer was "surprised" to learn the coming before we lock the doors is a good idea. moral-return movies on time.
Different customer, same problem. Movie was due back at 6:00PM the day before. Customer shows up at 8:00pm the next day on my shift. I generously announce that I won't charge the late fee for the current day, but he'll have to pay for the previous day. Customer announces that he shouldn't have to pay anything, because he tried to return it the night before BUT THE CLERK WOULDN'T UNLOCK THE DOOR. What was even funnier is that the clerk was new, and having trouble getting his register to balance. The indignant customer had shown up an hour and a half after we close, and in normal circumstances, there wouldn't even by anyone in the store at all at that time. moral-one and a half hours after store hours is NOT on time.
Customer browses the store for an hour, then approaches the counter and asks if we have a specific title. A common question, most customers don't have access to release dates until we post them. I refrain from taking the customer by the hand, leading them outside and pointing to the theater in the next block (THAT THEY DROVE PAST), which is currently showing the movie they're asking about. Studios have never released a movie on video three weeks after it opens in theaters. moral-check the theater marquee before requesting it on tape.
Customer and his lovely but dim wife come in. The man asks if we have a specific title. Granted, it's been out for a few months, and probably should have been out on video by then, so his question was okay. I told him no, it wasn't out, which is odd because most movies come out on video a lot faster than that, and it should be coming out in the next month or two. His wife, who has been listening intently, looks at me and says "so, do you have it?"moral-"no, we don't have it" can not be stated more clearly. There isn't a word for "no" any simpler to understand.
We have one truly obnoxious customer that no one likes. He came in one day and asked if we had some really obscure title on DVD. We didn't. He got pissed and said that the owner had PROMISED him that if he got a dvd player, we would get every movie that was out on DVD, in case he wanted to see it. Uh huh. The same customer also thinks it's our personal responsibility if he rents a movie and doesn't like it. Apparently, the movie was good in the theater, and we have somehow altered it so that he'll hate it. moral-the video store had nothing to do with the writing, casting, directing, or any part of the movie's production. We're sorry you didn't like it, but it's not our fault.
No, you do not get a discount if you ask in advance, "If I keep this brand new release for 6 days, will there be a late charge?"
Yes, most clerks are big movie fans, and can usually help you figure out that movie you're having trouble remembering the name of. However, we need more information than "it had that guy, and he was somewhere, and he shot some people"
If you've made it clear that you've hated every movie you've ever rented except for that "wonderfully deep film from France in 1969, in French, not dubbed or subtitled", do not expect any suggestions from the clerk when you ask which new releases are good. It's pretty much guaranteed that none of them will live up to THAT one.
If you ask the clerk if a movie is good, and they reply, "well, I liked it", this is not a code meaning "it's the best movie ever, you'll LOVE it". However, if the clerk says, "I thought it sucked, there was no plot, the acting was atrocious, and every one of the 115 people that have rented it so far have hated it", chances are good that you, too, will not like this movie. So don't bitch about how horrible it was when you bring it back. You were warned.
So, all you movie fans, take note of these experiences and keep them in mind the next time you visit your local video store. Avoid these scenarios, and you will be known as one of the coveted "good customers". :)
Pam
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