| Subject: Re: Moving along... |
Author:
Paul
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Date Posted: 20:07:36 01/31/03 Fri
In reply to:
Cassandra
's message, "Moving along..." on 15:02:32 01/30/03 Thu
Cassandra,
Thought I would chime in here, now that this is firing up again. So thank you for initiating this forum again and it is good to here people's voices. I agree. I don't think there is any one map. In fact, I don't think there is any map at all, to be completely honest. My experience (so far) is that there is nothing that the personal will can project forward about where this all goes. There is something else at play here. Something that is beyond me and my inherited ideas of "what to do" with "what I think and feel I have". So just to throw that out. Basically I am clueless as to what the forward path is. Anything that I project, honestly, feels a bit desperate, those parts of me that cannot simply let the unknown simply be as it wants to be. So therefore this life has become simply day by day, dealing with whatever arises. To "make something" of this, other than what it wants to be (which is out of my control) seems like just more self-based seeking, to be honest, more of the momentum of whatever was going on before second birth. If you asked me what I would tell someone about all of this, and to tell it in an authoritative I-know-it-all-way, well frankly, I truthfully couldn't say anything definitive. It just doesn't align with my experience. Today's truth is tomorrow's no-longer-relevant-whatever-the-hell-that-was-yesterday. What I feel now is not what I feel in an hour. If anything, instead of feeling more "absolute" I feel more and more lost and dissolved in the waves of whatever's going on. Harder and harder to cull a "me" out of all of it. So to strike out on a vector, sure and linear and confident relative to "what to do" with all of this, well that is an intention and an energy that will have to come from it's own place on it's own time on it's own terms. And these are not my terms, just to say it. Such a thing is something that I cannot consciously will.
One man's experience,
Paul
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