| Subject: Re: The dreaded Goomba |
Author:
Gill
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Date Posted: 12:19:17 03/25/01 Sun
In reply to:
cassie
's message, "The dreaded Goomba" on 10:31:37 03/25/01 Sun
Cassie,
Funny that you should mention this (or is it) because last night when I went to bed, having posted various things on this Forum, I found myself feeling or thinking "I am a complete fraud".
I couldn't quite make out where it was coming from or what part of me it was directed at. It seemed like it was Consciousness, the Queen as you call it, that was castigating my mind. Which made me think of Chris's postings on Self versus self/soul. Who am I in total? Or was I just saying/feeling that my mind is the "fraud" who has represented me all these years, only now to be knocked off the throne as the imposter it is? Dunno. I had been feeling guilty, however, about talking too much on the Forum. Was I hogging the space? Should I, as Chris had suggested to himself, maybe "digest" things a little more before posting replies? Was I not leaving enough room for other people to join in the conversation - although I would be more than glad if anyone new would kindly butt in and join us.
My response these days is to just try not to worry about it and hope that the Good Company of this Forum will overlook any imperfections I display. If I irritate someone - so be it, I didn't mean to. If people make judgements about me - so be it, I didn't mean to offend. If I talk too much - so be it, I have been silent for so long I am needing to make up for lost time! I just love playing with you all out here on the Porch. And there's plenty room for everyone, with all our weirdnesses and "imperfections". Our greatest strength is to show up with these traits and all those parts that have forever been judged, condemned and suppressed (not least by ourselves). The risk is twofold - either further isolation and condemnation or - wow! - I thought it was an electric fence, I touched it and, look - nothing happened! No-one judged me; people are still responding to me; even better - people are saying they LIKE what I'm saying. People are saying "thank you" for what I'm saying. Miracle upon miracle, the people on this Forum are even saying they love me! Incredible. Just like this process.
I love you, dear Cassie - and thank you again for thinking up this Forum which feeds me daily and gives me the space to talk away about all kinds of sense and nonsense!
Gill
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