i hate you because i love you but you don't love me
she hated the fickle ways of her heart, how she it said things that made no trace of sense, and yet it somehow expected her to understand. why did her heart do that, take that little jump everytime she looked at him. him. of all people, why him? he was the one she'd beaten up when she'd first arrived in the valley. he was the one she was constantly locked in a power struggle with. so why did her heart insist on doing a little flip everytime she heard his voice, or caught his scent on the wind? with her cloak of animosity and subtle pride pulled tightly around her, she slunked closer to him, as always the bold, feline shadowy vixen she'd been on the first day of her arrival. but somethign seemed different, something about the way she held herself, as if sorrow and indecision pressed heavily upon her shoulders. she wanted to tell him everything. but as her eyes, brimming with questions and uncertainy, met his, she was taken aback by what she saw in them. how could she face him, him so arrogant, so prideful, so domineering, and admit what it was that her fleeting heart told her? she couldn't. and so, after only a brief pause, she stumbled through the speaking of the first sentance to race through her cluttered mind.
i apologize for getting in that fight with guilt trip. i just love fighting, and i haven't fought in so long, except with you, and i guess i was just looking for someone to go aginst she was the first one i saw, and, and...
and she was rambling. she stopped herself quickly, her eyes, which had dropped to the ground for the course of her 'speech' meeting his once more, a meek and apologetic smile lingering in them, so uncharacteristic of how she normally was. at that one second in eternity, she wasn't herself. she wasn't the 'shadow predator' or the 'venomous one.' she was nothing more then a scared little girl, trying to sort through the conflicting messages that her heart and her head were sending her, a fact which she hold behind a wall of impassiveness and distrust, but a wall that was crumbling more quickly then she could rebuild it.
a e r i a l
mouthful of poison
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