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Date Posted: 09:02:44 05/20/03 Tue
Author: JSlayerUK
Author Host/IP: 195.93.32.178
Subject: J's Super Dooper Chosen Review!!! (spoilers. Duh.)

I've wanted to put this Chosen review up for a day now, but Voy's been playing up no end... Grrr. I'll repost this later once the Alpha board is working.

Anywho! I will give you my Chosen review, because I can and so I will. Also, haven't seen an in depth one on the board as yet. Not that I'm planning an in-depth one... just a less out-depth one...

I'm going off topic. Chosen. Firstly, I can honestly say that this episode *is* good. I liked it. I actually liked it. Fave ep of the season, and Joss didn't fail me.

Let's start with the beginning, shall we? Angel and Buffy are pulling out from the kiss. DB is hot. Man, I love that guy. I watched this scene over and over because he is so hot. He's all Knowledge Guy and sexy... Again, I'm going off topic. Ah screw that! I don't care if I'm technically off topic! Sexy sexy sexy man... ANYWAY! Caleb gets back up, blah blah blah, talks some crap, blah blah blah, gets split in half... I'm not paying attention. Angel's lying on the floor... all sexy like. Buffy *snorts* at her joke. As did I, not that I'll admit to it ever again. Angel picks up the Wolfram and Hart folder (flips it up and looks all hot... sorry. Kill me please!) and tells Buffy about the Amulet Of We Couldn't Think Of Anything Else. Although, I'd love to change it's name to The Amulet Of We Couldn’t Think Of Anything Else But It Scrubs Up Bubbles Like A Charm. Okay, I'm mad at Angel for one thing. He brought over the C-word.

(side note. A funny dialogue between myself and ABM on the phone a short while back about the season eight fanfic:

J: Oh you know my episode? Would it be okay if I used the C-word?
ABM: C*nt?!
J: ......Champion.

Snerk. Funny guy.)

The word Champion *infects* the show, but DB is hot, so I'm not caring.

Buffy's telling Angel that he has to leave to open The Second Front. Silently I'm thinking to myself that Wolfram and Hart have more power than the First *ever* could, and as Angel now owns the damned branch he could have this battle wrapped up in two ticks of a ticking thing. Angel doesn't mention that he has the resources to wipe the floor with the First, which is a little unfair, but like I always say: Who needs to be useful when you're hot?

Angel figures that there's another reason that Buffy doesn't want him around. Angel asks if it's Spike, as he can tell he's around because he remembers the scent well. At this point I fall to my knees praising the Almighty Joss as this barest smidgen is enough to keep me happy. No really. The rest of the episode could be *shite* and I wouldn't care so long as Angel *Smelled* Spike.



Just a sec guys, let me bask.




Okay, I'm basked.

Angel: "Is he your boyfriend?" ~ Translate ~ "He's over me?!"
Buffy: "Is that your business?" ~ Translate ~ "Don't ask me, hell I don't even know..."
Angel: "Are you in love with him?" ~ Translate ~ "Does that diminish the love you have for me?"
Angel: "Okay, maybe I'm out of line but this is kind of a curveball for me. I mean we are talking about Spike here." ~ Translate ~ "And does that diminish the love he has for me?!"
Buffy: "It's different. He's different. He has a soul now." ~ Translate ~ "I have no other excuses for my relationship with Spike."
Angel: "Oh... oh." ~ Translate ~ "Spike has a soul? Is he pregnant and sharing the soul with his unborn baby?"
Buffy: "What?" ~ Translate ~ "What?"
Angel: "No, that's great. Everyone's got a soul now..." ~ Translate ~ "There goes my hand-made One-Of-A-Kind "One Of A Kind" mug Wes made me last year..."
Buffy: "He'll make a difference." ~ Translate ~ "You left. He didn't."
Angel: "I started it. The whole 'having a soul'. Before it was all the cool new thing!" ~ Translate ~ "I'm not jealous. Not jealous at all..."
Buffy: "Oh my God, are you twelve?!" ~ Translate ~ "Your hair is so cute."
Angel: "I'm getting the brush off for Captain Peroxide. Doesn't necessarily bring out the Champion in me." ~ Translate ~ **Doesn't translate. The C-word screwed up her Angel-to-J dictionary**
Buffy: "You're not getting the brush off!" ~ Translate ~ "You never had a brush in!"
Buffy: "Are you just going to come here and get all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend?" ~ Translate ~ "Yes, I've been watching Dawson's Creek with Spike."
Angel: "A-ha! Boyfriend!" ~ Translate ~ "Damn. He is over me..."

Buffy talks about the fat grandchildren and Angel finally has a "Oh yes, I have a son I had to give up and I could have had grandchildren that didn't turn out to be people-eating demi-god-things and I feel so torn up inside" look on his face. He keeps that look for a while. Buffy realises there's something wrong with her. She's unbaked. It doesn't sound all too bad out loud. However, I'm just waiting for the point at which she is ready just so I can say "Stick a fork in her, she's done!"

(Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: Like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, okay... I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you know, you just... you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay then. Eat me, I'm done!)

Angel then leaves. Blah. There's a moment there, and I actually think it's implied that Buffy and Angel will get back together later. I'd personally rather Buffy backed off and left Spike and Angel to renew their relationship, but hey. Tough cookies.

Buffy's back home and Dawn kicks her in the shin. It's cute. We kinda see that Buffy sent Dawn away because she didn't want Dawn to die. Snuff that whole "I'm going to show you the world, fight by my side" stuff. Nah. Buffy reports back that she cut Caleb in half. Xander makes an eye joke and we're done! Crunchy cookies. I note that Anya's rubbing Xander's head in that cute way. They so clearly love each other. I'd be in support of them getting together now. I think they've learnt their mistakes.

Spike beats on a punchbag and Buffy returns to him, all smellin' like Angel. Lucky bitch. Okay! One of my Aurelius boys has left, I'll fixate on the younger one now. He too is looking fine... I think that next years AtS is going to break laws on hotness. DB, JM, AD, JAR, AnH? Too much. Too too much. And that's just male hotness. If Stephanie stays around (and I'm totally in love with her) then I may just faint watching every episode.

Spike's playing Mr Jealous (can't tell if he's jealous of Angel or Buffy) all annoyed that Angel dropped by to help Buffy moisten her tongue and didn't even give him so much as a "hello". Buffy comments that Angel and Spike should just be locked in a room so they can rassle it out ("But not in a gay way."). With oil. I've been saying that a *lot* longer than you have Buff. Back of the line. Turns out that the punching bag had a picture of Angel on it. Nice to see Angel can still get Spike all riled up... Spike asks for the AOWCTOAEBISUBLAC. Buffy says it was meant to be worn by a true Champion (See Angel?!! See?!! YOU'VE INFECTED THE SHOW!!! GAAAAAAHHH!!! [gets out the anti-champion vaccine]) and then gives it to Spike. Awwwww! Joss is a damned good director, because ignoring the poignancy of the scene, the direction is brilliant too.

After Buffy implies that she needs somewhere to kip, Spike tries to have a backbone. He fails. But he's cute doing it so, I don't mind. I don't care what anyone says. They are so *clearly* with the loving of each other. The First appears, I laugh at it because it's no real threat anymore. Stupid First Evil. Wesley Wyndham Pryce could kick your arse six ways from Sunday with a flick of the wrist. Literally. Spike wakes up screaming "I'm drowning in footwear". I sigh at the anvil.

Buffy tells her plan to the Scoobs, Giles loves it. Willow's not sure that she's stable enough. Dawn gets the pierced tongue bit, and refers to herself as Junior Watcher. Anya and Xander go off together to assemble the cannon fodder and Willow takes the SMSoFE to use it in whatever plan they have planned.

Buffy gives another speech to everyone, but it's not so bad. Although I wasn't listening. I was paying attention to Buffy's outfit. I like it. However we don't spend enough time on it, and we move instead to Faith and Wood. And I am really beginning to *like* this pairing! They work well off each other. Faith's all "I'm so bad cause I'm so good in bed" and Wood's all "Yeah right, I'm prettier than you anyway". I agree, personally. Faith does a Darla and tries to go again to prove Robin wrong. I wonder if back in Boston, Faith was a prostitute…

And we go to Willow and Plat... I mean Kennedy. I kinda pass by this, cause the next scene rocks. Giles and Xander making plans... and then we pull back to see Andrew in a red cape reading from a D&D manual. That's Dungeons and Dragons, not Decision and Discrete... an A-level paper that I shall be sitting on June 6th. Wish me luck. Oh! Speaking of which, my Pure 2 today went *great*!! Just saying...

And now we get the scene of weirdness. Buffy is outside on the front porch. Stares out into the street. Spike is in the basement contemplating why the AOWCTOAEBISUBLAC couldn't have come in red ("That Angel. Always trying to piss me off by bringing accessories he *knows* doesn't match my complexion..."). Buffy walks down the stairs and Spike gets up. They face each other.

That's it.

I have *no* idea what happens next. No theories. No speculation. I don't think *anyone* does. I bet Joss only threw that in to be obtuse...

And now it's time to die. Die and fight, whatever. Cool shot of the group walking up into the school, ready to face their death. It sounds like a bloody school trip. Dammit, it *is* a bloody school trip! Everybody splits off to defend their areas. Spike/Faith, Willow/Kennedy, Giles/Robin, Xander/Dawn and Andrew/Anya. They *so* need more fighters. Now would be a good time for a turn-key state-of-the-art multi-tasking operation...

And as everyone departs, we are left with the Core. Who in turn decide that after this is over, they're going shopping. Good for them. Xander definitely needs new clothes. I like the parallel with the end of The Harvest. Giles' "The earth is *definitely* doomed...". I also like the directing in the scene where everyone peels off to their areas with Buffy walking down the hall. Great shot.

Everyone bleeds and opens the seal (same footage is used as was in Never Leave Me. And they think I wouldn't notice...). I'm a little weirded out that the seal has stairs, but I ignore that fact since Spike cracks me up with his "I look like Elizabeth Taylor". Nu-uh babe. Not even Liz Taylor would wear that ugly thing. And now we see the largest family reunion ever. Cute.

Willow does the spell thing, and we find out what the plan was. To use the power of the SMSoFE to awaken every potential in the world. Great. I feel stronger already. (Fears the number of lame fics that will soon come out about random potentials becoming Slayers) I watch them all becoming Slayers, and Vi is clearly the best one. I stick by my choice of Vi as the best potential. Willow collapses after her spell with a gorgeous "That was nifty!". Gotta love the girl.

The Alfredo Bunch attack. The slayers fight. The fight is cool, and I love the way the SMSoFE is tossed between them as a symbol of Slayerhood. Nah, it's just wicked to see all those bodies go poof. Meanwhile Anya and Andrew are panicking and preparing for an attack. And then some of the Turoks attack them. But Anya's prepared. She knows what she's fighting. Floppy hoppy bunnies! The Turoks also go after Giles and Robin, and my God do they look sexy too. I've always had a thing for men with swords. It's just so damned enthralling to watch. Is there a metaphor somewhere?!

Down in the seal, Buffy gets stabbed.Anya gets stabbed. Robin gets stabbed. There's a whole stabbing theme. Buffy's fine. The girl can live through anything. She pulls out of it after seeing the First in her own form. There is an absolutely *brilliant* shot here. Joss has taken the good use of slo-mo from AtS, and Buffy just gets up all determined like. It's going to go down in the Classic Shots Of Buffy. The score during this bit is great too. I'm loving it, totally totally loving it. I can be as sarcastic as I want, but I'm enjoying this so much!

Or at least I was. Because it's about now that I'm realising that something bad is about to go down. Spike gets pinned up near a wall, says "Oh bollocks." and then kinda half explodes into sunlight. It's weird. The line is classic. Yet weird. This beam of sunlight clearly goes straight upwards as it hits Willow in the Principal's Office. And the AOWCTOAEBISUBLAC sends out these huge tractor beam thingies and like nearly blows the place apart. And everyone runs out. Except Buffy of course, who runs to Spike.

Everyone gets out of the school and unto the bus, except Anya who lies dead on the floor and Buffy who's down with Spike. Spike tells Buffy to go. Buffy doesn't want to. Spike insists. Buffy *still* doesn't want to leave. And then Buffy hold Spike's flaming hand. No really. Flaming. That's sunlight baby. And Buffy's tearing up. I'm tearing up. The whole damned place is tearing up. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

Buffy tells Spike she loves him. J tells Buffy that she's a dope if it only took her 5 years to realise it. Spike tells Buffy that she doesn't but thanks her for saying it. J wells up, yet smaps Spike for being a loveable dope anyway. Loveable, and looking sorta saintly as the lighting kinda shows. I call anvil!

Buffy runs off, to Spike's command and then the place explodes. Like majorly explodes. The WHOLE of Sunnydale is rippling into the ground. Buffy's running... she's running, she's jumping...

Spike laughs... and dies. Like skin burns, bones turn, goes dusty... He dies laughing. Guess we know who had the last laugh.

Buffy's still running, still jumping. And jumps onto the fleeing bus. Great stunt here BTW. And once the bus is in the clear, they stop and look back on the crater that is Sunnydale. Giles doesn't know what happened. Buffy says Spike happened. Yep, he finally got to destroy Sunnyhell.

Xander asks Andrew what happened, and Andrew tells Xander that Anya was amazing. About how Anya died saving his life. And Xander's proud. His girl, always doing the stupid thing.


Robin dies.




Nah! I'm just funnin' ya!

Robin fakes a death to "surprise" Faith. It works.

The survivors look out to the crater. They talk about all the new Slayers... the amount of shops they destroyed... Nobody mentions that there could have still be *people* in Sunnydale blissfully unaware of anything who just *DIED* but never mind. I'll assume that Sunnydale was in fact a ghost town and absolutely positively everybody left. As Buffy has a triumphant smile growing on her face, Willow asks the immortal question "Yeah Buffy, what *are* we going to do now?".

I have to say, I agree. What are we going to do now?!!!

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Replies:

[> You made me laugh and cry.... -- Greenstone, 09:17:59 05/20/03 Tue (203.96.111.237)

Love the story about the phone call with ABM....LOL...
And you got your drawing of Angel, you must be proud...


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[> Great review J -- Gemma-loves it, 09:24:14 05/20/03 Tue (203.220.205.186)

I should've picked up on Angel being worried because HIS relationship with Spike was threatened.


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[> Holy goats, woman! Take a cold shower... -- subliminalpolka *laughing*, 09:33:37 05/20/03 Tue (140.90.236.123)

Great review, J! It cracked my stuff up...


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[> Forget J, I need a cold shower! -- DistractoGirl, 11:06:32 05/20/03 Tue (172.186.248.236)

V. good review although, kinda worried that you stuck a friends quote in it? why being the only unanswered question, you stick forks in cookies they go all crumbly...


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[> Forget J, I need a cold shower! -- DistractoGirl, 11:07:44 05/20/03 Tue (172.186.248.236)

V. good review although, kinda worried that you stuck a friends quote in it? why being the only unanswered question, you stick forks in cookies they go all crumbly...


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[> Heh! I got a mention! Me & my dirty mouth.... -- anyas_butt_monkey *spoilers, quite obviously*, 11:08:05 05/20/03 Tue (81.132.111.199)

Well, I'd just like to share my thoughts before I head off to my *gulp* dentist appointment.....

- Wood, I still can't stand him. And his whole "I'm way prettier than you" deal is just too much! AAARGH!! I kinda agree with J that the Faith/Wood pairing isn't as unbelievable as I thought it would be, but as I don't like him I wish Faith would do better....come on Fander....

- Am very disappointed how they handle Anya. She gets some nice lines (the cannon fodder one was particularly meta-ish...), but her death is just totally mishandled. She fights for a few seconds, then gets stabbed by a bringer.....and then the next you see is her dead body lying behind a Bringer or two, and THATS IT!! Come on! She deserves much better! Although the Andrew/Xander scene where he tells Xander about Anya's heroism is cute :)

- The cookie-dough speech plays better on screen than it does in the script. Really, I'm not joking, it does!!

- As much as some would disagree, from my non-Spuffyists POV, I'd say that Spike and Buffy get a nice resolution. Yeh, Spike dies, but for christ's sake it isnt permanent, he's on Angel next year!! The whole Spuffy issue gets an ending, which is more than I can say for the rest of the storylines...

- The "Hell's Deep" shot: I loved it. Personally, I loved seeing all the SITs going all out. Vi, Rona, Amanda, even Kennedy kicked major assage. And they all looked cute doing it too :) And, although I knew it was coming, I was still upset that Amanda died. Why not Kennedy? Please?

- Either Joss has forgotten how to write Angel, or DB played him wrong on purpose - either way, Angel wasn't the same in this episode. He was like Goofy-Beige!Angel....

- Caleb kicked ass, as usual, and I wasn't very happy with Miss Hacks-A-Lot for castrating him. Although the black stuff oozing out of his eyes and nose was just icky....


Overall, I liked this episode more than I thought I would. I didn't like that storylines of the season didn't get closure, or that some of the steps they took seemed illogical and Joss didn't bother to back them up with an explanation. Plus, where did The First go???????? But the episode had a lot of great moments, and the pizazz of the episode kept you hooked right up to the bitter, smiley end :)


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[> Excellent review, Jasmine -- a friend of Xanderrrrs, 11:52:09 05/20/03 Tue (12.164.76.13)

I'm just picking first names for you at random, in case you were wondering.


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[> [> "Jasmine". I like it! You're still wrong, but I like it! -- JSlayerUK, 12:02:30 05/20/03 Tue (195.93.33.11)

Then again, associating that same name with a semi-evil trying to bring world peace by *eating* people...

I *still* like it!


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[> ROTFLMAO helplessly! If it wasn't already taken though, we'd have to rename you DistractoGirl! -- BadPenguin, 13:24:24 05/20/03 Tue (216.80.57.190)


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[> [> I'm sorry but... -- DistractoGirl, 13:57:09 05/20/03 Tue (172.191.209.7)

J was a part in naming me DistractoGirl so she can't have it! But i agree if it weren't mine she should have it, she is be the biggest DistractoGirl on the planet...


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[> Thanks for the laughs, J, you witty thing, you! :o) -- StillHisGirl *3 hrs to go....*, 17:03:37 05/20/03 Tue (64.83.27.70)


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[> J. That is one really, REALLY, fun and uplifting reviews ever... more poer to your elbow ;[) -- ChrissieLinnit*still sad, but with a daft sniffly smile too*, 17:32:38 05/20/03 Tue (195.166.18.219)


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