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Date Posted: 07:11:54 05/13/01 Sun
Author: Shadey
Subject: Let's give 'em something to laugh about....*best singsong voice*

A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his corn flakes every morning.

The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35
great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the wall of the
crematorium.

------------------

A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom
scale, sucking in his stomach.

She commented, "I don't think that's going to help."

"Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

-------------------

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked
anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

-------------------

(this one's for Morri, in regard of the VEM)

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were
talking about the amount of control they had over their wives, while the third remained quiet.
After a while one of the first two turned to the third and said "Well, what about you? What sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?"
The third man took a healthy swallow of his bear, sighed, and uttered "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man'"

----------------

WHAT DOES PMS STAND FOR?

21. Pain Management Sucks
20. Probably Moving (to the) Sofa
19. Pardon My Screaming
18. Penis Must Suffer
17. Potential Murder Suspect
16. Putting (up with) Men's Shit
15. Prone to Mood Swings
14. Pass My Shotgun
13. Psychotic Mood Shift
12. Pack My Stuff
11. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
10. Perpetual Munching Spree
9. Puffy Mid-Section
8. People Make Me Sick
7. Provide Me with Sweets
6. Pardon My Sobbing
5. Pimples May Surface
4. Pass My Sweatpants
3. Pissy Mood Syndrome
2. Plainly Men Suck

And the number one thing PMS Stands for........

Who Cares? I'm not in the mood to play this shit anymore!!

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