Troll toll: "Watch out, here I come!" -- Godawful Fan Fiction

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Date Posted: Sat, Nov 15 2003, 20:46:44
Author: Rosewood
Subject: Troll toll: "Watch out, here I come!"

Sorry it took me so long, but I haven't had any that were up (down) to my usual caliber. Had to take my time and find a really good one. You'd be surprised what comes up when you're looking for fic:
<IMG SRC="http://members.rogers.com/heywood/wifesmokers.gif" ALT="Yahoo search results - Wife smokers rape and incest tits!">
Dare I ask how you smoke a wife or incest a tit...

<IMG SRC="http://members.rogers.com/heywood/bitchprison.gif" ALT="'Looking for bitch prison song?'">

<IMG SRC="http://members.rogers.com/heywood/shavedbreasts.gif" ALT="'Shaved Breasts. Shaved Breasts Links and Photos.'">

<IMG SRC="http://members.rogers.com/heywood/tailrape.gif" ALT="'sesshoumarus tail is raped'">

<IMG SRC="http://members.rogers.com/heywood/reammother.gif" ALT="'That is, I�ll take inventory right after I ream my mother.'">

Hmm, let's see. Where shall I begin? Greyarchive? Nah, too overdone, too easy. Slag heap? No, same thing, like shooting fish in a barrel.

Hmmm... where to find, where to find. Ah, here's a good candidate! <A rel=nofollow target=_blank HREF="http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/tales/sterno/sterno2/X0010_The_Happy_Ending.html">http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/fun/tales/sterno/sterno2/X0010_The_Happy_Ending.html</A> (Warning: extremely profane)
"Wall, I reckon that ain't good enuff to keep me from blowin' yore asses from heah to theyah wif this heah 50-calibre machine gun."
Heap big character development...
Nah, that seems just... crass. I can do better.

What about <A rel=nofollow target=_blank HREF="http://stfan.free.fr/Addventures/241863.htm">http://stfan.free.fr/Addventures/241863.htm</A>, "Tentacle Ranma: First victim(?), Kasumi?"? I dunno. It's bad, but not the bad I'm looking for.
"Oh dear, Ranma-kun! You seem to have turned into a tentacle monster. Are you going to rape me now? Will you bind my arms and legs, so that I cannot run away, only struggle and squirm? Will you push those naughty tentacles of yours into all my holes and fuck them until they're all stretched out of shape and filled with monster sperm and I'm overcome with orgasm after orgasm?" She took a hesitant step forward.

Nah. Perhaps <A rel=nofollow target=_blank HREF="http://www.slashingmulder.com/Date/Mar01/ReleaseMe_Vyper.htm">http://www.slashingmulder.com/Date/Mar01/ReleaseMe_Vyper.htm</A>? I dunno, Mulder being raped by the CSM? Golden showers? Incest? Sexual slavery? BDSM? Prostitution? Knifeplay? Anal rape? Roofies? 'Deliverance' flashbacks? Shaving? "Call me Father, Fox. Tell me you love me"? I dunno, I can do better than that.

<A rel=nofollow target=_blank HREF="http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=5971">http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=5971</A> "Random InuYasha Smut"? "InuYasha jerks off, wanting nothing more than to ride Kagome to the moon." Nah, my standards are higher than that.

<A rel=nofollow target=_blank HREF="http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=2742">http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=2742</A>? What is it with people and having Naraku rape Inuyasha? Not to mention confusing "ministration" with "menstruation" and the repeated use of the pronoun "him" making it _extremely_ difficult to tell who's doing what...
"do u truly care more for Kagome than you do for me."
Capturing Inuyasha�s lips with his. Inuyasha�s eyes nearly popped out of his head as the unwanted menstruation continue.
But there's better badfic out there...

Perhaps a DBZ fic might do better? <A rel=nofollow target=_blank HREF="http://forum.anipike.com/showthread.php?t=1255&goto=nextnewest">http://forum.anipike.com/showthread.php?t=1255&goto=nextnewest</A> Hope u enjoy. If u flame me, shall be forced to cuss u out. I don't take cridisizem well. But even the in-text author's notes aren't what I'm looking for...

What about Captain Planet's illegitimate Sue-child "Evangelion" from the future who spouts fangirl-Spanish and has a "street rep"? <A rel=nofollow target=_blank HREF="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=926711&chapter=2">http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=926711&chapter=2</A>? Nah, not even when Captain Planet and Gaia crank out kids who are (in order) Puerto Rican, Japanese, and Southern (which is now a race). Not even when the Sue goes insane. Hoggish Greedly was. " Planeteers!! If you can hear me, I swear I'll recycle, I'll use less water, I'll carpool just save me!! This Planet chick is crazy!!" He yelled. Not even when the Sue utters one of the _funniest_ meta-lines I've ever seen: " Suuueeeeeyyy!!" She yelled. Nah, I still think I can do better.

I dunno, I'm fast running out of time, and there don't seem to be any _quality_ badfics out there! Damn it!

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Re: Troll toll: "Watch out, here I come!" -- Architeuthis, Sun, Nov 16 2003, 2:47:35

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