Episode 8.03 - "....IT'S A MAGIC NUMBER" by Sam The Eagle -- Season Eight

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Date Posted: 09:52:53 03/25/03 Tue
Author: First aired Sunday 23rd March 2003
Subject: Episode 8.03 - "....IT'S A MAGIC NUMBER" by Sam The Eagle

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Flash to Willow in hospital performing Angel�s soul restoration. Flash to Tara
finding the flower under the pillow. Flash to Willow in Rack�s on the ceiling.
Flash to Tara and Willow in the bedroom - gunshot. Flash to Willow fighting
Buffy in the magic box, and a final flash of her and Xander on the mountain.
Flash of Willow and Giles in England.

WILLOW
(V.O)
It's all connected. The root
systems, the molecules, the energy...
everything's connected.

The Episode starts with bright white light. The camera focuses on the sun. It
pans down, through a brilliant blue sky, further down through a few clouds. The
tops of the trees come into the shot; still the camera pans further down through
the trees, right down to:

Willow sitting in the woods outside Sunnydale meditating, relaxing, being one
with the land. She is in a trance, a state of pure and utter bliss. Magical
activity all around her. As in 7.01 Lessons, she has complete control over
everything around her. She makes flowers grow all around her, buds start to
form. They then bloom, the petals fly off, up in the air and float around her.
She is revelling in the majesty of nature. She is so calm, so peaceful.

Then. She suddenly jolts forward. She has felt something:

Cut to trees. The darkness of the forest prevails in this shot. Seconds later
we hear a female scream. Cut back to Willow, view from the back. Camera pans
around. We see Willow�s face all veiny.

WILLOW
(Screaming in agony)
ARGH

Credits

Buffy, Xander and Dawn are sitting in a clearing with several picnic tables.
There are a few cars parked at a non-too distant car park. They are sat at a
picnic table eating lunch.

XANDER
So Buf, how much longer do you think she�ll be?

BUFFY
I�m not sure, she said she needed time to ground herself.
But it is nice for us to get a out. It�s all been kind hectic recently.

DAWN
Yeah I know what you mean. It is really nice out here,
go pass me another sandwich Xander.

XANDER
Sure what kind do you want?
Cheese or Peanut Butter?

DAWN
Mmmm, cheese please!

BUFFY
Ooh I�ll have another one too, although you know�
gotta be peanut�

WILLOW (O.S.)
(Loudly shouting)
Buffy!

The camera turns from the table to see Willow her bursting out of the Woods,
wearily hobbling. Her face is still very veiny - somewhat aged looking -
although less so than before the credits.

BUFFY
What is it? What�s happened?

XANDER
Are you alright Will? Your face�

WILLOW
I�m okay don�t worry about me.
But there�s something out there.
I felt her pain - she was so fragile,
I heard the screams - no I felt the screams.

BUFFY
Are you strong enough to take me to it?
We�ve got to stop it, whatever it is.

WILLOW
I�m fine, the pain is gone now. Let�s go.

BUFFY
Okay. Xander will you stay here and watch Dawn?

XANDER
Are you sure you don�t need me with you?

BUFFY
No, you�ll be more use here protecting Dawn.

Buffy and Willow head back the way Willow came through the trees. We see them
walking briskly.

BUFFY
What did it feel like? Whatever you felt might
help us know what we�re up against.

WILLOW
I don�t really know, I just felt her pain then I
heard her scream. Then it stopped. I think she�s dead.
It killed her Buffy. It sucked the life from her. She was so weak.

They continue walking, the camera moves with them with the trees between it and
them. The scene is comparatively dark. The trees create an almost shadow
effect. Flashes of Buffy and Willow appear between the trees. The travel for
ten seconds or so, until we see them approach a small clearing.

The camera stops on a pair of legs poking around from a tree. White trainers
and socks. The camera pans around showing the body of a 70-year-old woman lying
at Buffy and Willow�s feet. The body is dressed in a sweatshirt, and jogging
trousers.

BUFFY
(noticing the body)
Willow�

WILLOW
Oh my God! That�s just horrible. The poor woman.
She was so weak, I understand why�

BUFFY
Look at her neck�

Camera cuts to old woman. Curly white hair hanging just above her neck. Just
below her hairline, two perfectly rounded bite marks.

CUT TO

The back room of the magic box. Daylight, although the windows are covered by
light fabric, giving a hazy look to the room. Spike and Faith are training,
Giles is in the background observing.

FAITH
I�m so pumped. So much energy to burn
So little places to do it in.

SPIKE
Don�t hold back on my account.

FAITH
Trust me I wont be, William the Bloody?
Bloody awful more like.

GILES
(Looking up from a book in a matter of fact sort of way)
Actually Faith�

SPIKE (While grabbing Faith by the arm)
Stop it right there Rupert.

GILES
Well I was just saying, Faith should know anyway,
part of being the slayer is knowing your heritage,
where you came from your friends � and enemies
histories. Strengths and weaknesses. Knowledge
leads to power.

FAITH
(Flips Spike onto his back)
I know Mister Giles. I�m trying here.

GILES
Yes Faith.
(Acknowledging her move)
That�s why we�re helping you.
The physical ability is there, but the mental
strength required to be the slayer is something
we need to work on.

FAITH
(Whips out a stake and holds it to his chest)
Thank you for all your help.
I can see why B turned out the way she did.

CUT TO

Summers house Hallway.

Buffy, Willow, Xander and Dawn arrive back to the house. They have left the
body in the woods after thoroughly inspecting it.

BUFFY
Willow can you search the Internet for obituaries of pensioners?

WILLOW
Sure, but so many old people die daily. I don�t know if that will help much.

BUFFY
Okay, well focus on suspicious deaths.

WILLOW
Okay chief.

BUFFY
Xander, will you phone Giles and Faith please? I think they are at the magic
box.

XANDER
Sure no problem.

DAWN
Buffy, what about me?

BUFFY
You�have school in tomorrow and have homework to do.

Dawn turns and heads upstairs. Buffy and Willow head into the dining room and
Xander goes towards the kitchen to use the phone.

Adverts � Including a special UK edition where the goddamn Skittle gets murdered
and replaced with a cheery Buffy-loving Smartie.

SMARTIE
I�ve seen this one before.
Buffy stakes the vamp and everything ends happily.
Swell!

Back to Buffy.

Summers Dining Room.

Buffy and Faith are sat at either end of the table with Giles, Willow and Xander
on one side, Faith, Spike and Anya on the other. The TV can be heard faintly in
the distance where Dawn and Andrew are watching something.

BUFFY
So what we have here is a case of a perverted vampire.
It snacks on weak old ladies and then
discard their bodies. He, or indeed she, doesn�t seem
to sire it�s victims. Only using them to feed.

GILES
I have never seem this before. I mean I can understand
a vampire preferring younger victims, for their purer blood.
But the elderly?

FAITH
Maybe it�s just really weak and wouldn�t try attacking anything
That could overpower it.

SPIKE
Age is just a number though. Look at me, I�m as virile as ever.

XANDER
Immortality helps though..

BUFFY
Back to the point though. Willow what did you come up with?

WILLOW
Well, there have been a number of bodies found around the forest,
The Sunnydale Retirement Castle is on the other side of the woods,
and their mortality rate has shot up in the last few weeks.

GILES
That�s a start, I suggest a trip to the old folks home tomorrow morning.

BUFFY
Sure, who�s all coming?

XANDER
Me, always jump at the chance to spend a day with crazy old men.

BUFFY
You�ll regret saying that. Pick me us up at eight
tomorrow, we can drop dawn off at school and then head out.

ANYA
Umm�can I come too?

BUFFY (a little shocked)
Sure�why though?

ANYA
I�d quite like to look at the old women�
oh and I want to stop them dying�and stuff.

CUT TO

Sunnydale Retirement Castle set in front of a large hillside. Trees are set to
one side. There are caves in distant hillside.

Xander, Anya and Buffy get out of the car and walk to the door.

CUT TO

Retirement Caste � Interior. A window with a receptionist nurse. Buffy goes to
speak to her. Xander and Anya hang back.

BUFFY
Hi, we�re here to see my grandfather�Mister Smith.

NURSE
(looks through some papers)
Ah� Joe, he�s in room seventeen.
A real character. You must be so proud of him.

BUFFY
We sure do love our gramps�

They walk down a corridor to a door numbered 17.

NURSE
I�ll leave you here. If you need anything, just press the buzzer.

XANDER
Thank you.

They open the door and enter. An old man lies sputtering random words on the
bed. An old woman named Doris sits by his bedside.

DORIS
Ah, you must be Bradley, Jane and Beccy.
Joe has told me so much about you�

ANYA
Yup, that�s us. I�m Beccy Joe�s oldest and wisest daughter.
This is Jane and Bradley, my siblings.
We love our grandfather very much.
Who are you?

DORIS
I�m Doris, I live across the hall. I pop in on Jim everyday.

XANDER
(Whispers to Buffy)
I thought he was called Joe�

BUFFY
She�s old, ignore her.
You keep them occupied here,
I�m going to look around.

Buffy quietly exits through the door they came in and heads down the corridor.
Opening the doors and peering in.

BUFFY
(As she closes each door)
Sorry�excuse me.

She comes to a door which leads her outside.

CUT BACK TO

Xander, Anya, Doris and Joe.

JOE
Cucumber�chicken.
Fried paint.

XANDER
Yes, gramps I love them too.

ANYA
So Doris, how do you like being wrinkled?
And what about your hair, do you have it styled like that?
Or do old women just have the same hair cut?
Short, white, sometimes blue. Cult perhaps?

DORIS
Excuse me�

ANYA
Oh never mind.
(To Xander)
I don�t think they know anything

JOE
Butternut shoes.

XANDER
(Confused � lets it go)
I agree. I hope we don�t have to stay here too long.

CUT TO

Buffy outside. She turns a corner round the building and finds another body.
Again it has a neck wound. She bends down and looks inside her pockets. She
finds a purse. Looks inside and finds an id card. It shows a much younger
woman. We see that it is the same person.

BUFFY
Ahh�

CUT TO

The Summers House. Dining Room.

Willow is sat using the computer. She is searching the internet. Spike wanders
in, Willow looks up.

Willow
Spike�

SPIKE
Willow, will you show me how to use that thing one day?

WILLOW
(Rather dumbfounded)
Sure, I never knew you were interested in computers.

SPIKE
Well I�m not really.
But I�m adjusting to this whole new life,
and it would be a good thing to know about.

WILLOW
That�s very good of you Spike.
Why are you still here by the way?

SPIKE
I feel asleep last night, and when I woke I
couldn�t really leave what with the sun.

WILLOW
That�s fine.
No time like the present I guess,
come sit down over here.

He walks to her and sits at the chair next to her.

WILLOW
(continued)
This computer is linked to a network of other computers.
We can access all the information on them.

A little time has passed. Buffy, Xander and Anya return. They enter the house
and walk into the dining room.

BUFFY
It�s not a vampire Will.
Oh�hi Spike. Where�s Giles?

WILLOW
I think he�s in the kitchen having breakfast.

BUFFY
Giles, Giles can you come in here?

GILES
(Off screen)
Coming.

Giles enters from the kitchen.

GILES
How did it go at the Retirement home?
Did you find anything?

XANDER
It�s not a vampire.
It�s some sort of age sucking demon.

GILES
What do you mean?

BUFFY
I found another body, and this time,
She had a purse on her. Her id showed
A woman in her twenties.
It looks like some sort of demon that
Sucks the life out of it�s victims.

GILES
Ah. I have heard of such a demon.
In the Chronicles of Harletha if I remember rightly.
It would suck the energy out of it�s victims in order
To raise its newborns.
A Teliot demon if memory serves me.

SPIKE
Found it. A Teliot demon. Lives in caves�

BUFFY
What on earth are you doing Spike?

SPIKE
Research�

WILLOW
I was showing Spike how to use the internet.
He�s a fast learner.

SPIKE
Thank you, anyway. Teliot. Normally they are entirely tame.
But after they have children they prey on humans to nourish their young.

BUFFY
What did you say before that?

SPIKE
Umm� (Scrolling)
Eat cabbages, webbed feet, weak wrists, ah� live in caves.

BUFFY
There are caves up behind the Retirement Castle.
That must be where they are.
They pick up victims from the woods, and dump them
behind the Retirement Castle.

ANYA
Making it look like a vampire has attacked a patient.
I get it!

Adverts

SMARTIE
Argh, there�s a demon. Run! Kill! YAY!

OPEN WITH

Buffy, Xander, Faith, Willow, Giles, and Spike standing at a cave entrance.

BUFFY
Come on, but quietly.
Remember that they are very protective of their children,
And will be very aggressive.

They travel down the tunnel for a short time. Quietly.

XANDER
(Sneeze)

FAITH
(hits him)
Shush

They come to a fork.

BUFFY
We�ll have to split up. Faith, Spike and Willow, you three go left.
Giles, Xander; you�re with me.

Faith, Spike and Willow, walk no real distance.

DADDY T
(Off screen)
ROAR!

CUT TO The others, walking down the other tunnel. They turn when they hear the
roar and begin to run back down in the other direction.

Willow, Spike and Faith enter a large chamber like room. In one corner is a
sitting area, one corner a bed with two cots.

WILLOW
Faith, look out!

A large orange demon walks on screen behind Faith. Picks her up and throws her
against a wall. The stone she hits into cracks off and covers her. Spike runs
over and starts fighting with the Daddy T. Willow takes on Mama T.

WILLOW
Spike. How do we kill them?

SPIKE
Snap their neck.

They continue to fight. Spike manages to snap the neck of the father. Faith
starts to pull herself out of the rubble. Willow continues to fight the mother.

She stands back from the fight. Then puts up a magic barrier between herself
and the she-demon. She then reaches her hands out and snaps the neck of the
demon, without actually touching it. She motions what she wants to happen with
her hands, and it happens.

Buffy, Xander and Giles enter to see Faith standing up, and Spike helping a
drained Willow to her feet. Two demon corpses lie of the ground.

They all walk over to the two baby cribs in the corner.

WILLOW
Look at them, just lying there.
So innocent, so young.

The camera cuts to two small orange demon babies. They look very sweet. They
them smile up at the gang. Giant fans appear.

WILLOW
Ah�

GILES
Just leave them.
Without the nourishment from their parents,
The offspring will fade within a day.

XANDER
That�s fine them, cause I wasn�t touching Rosemary Teliot�s demon babies.

They all turn and walk out of the cave.

CUT TO The gang all sitting down for a meal. There is no dialog in the scene.
Music plays in the background. Buffy, Willow, Xander, Dawn, Giles, Anya,
Andrew, Kennedy, Faith and Spike - glass of blood are sat down having a meal
together. The happy ending that we always used to have.

CUT TO

The cave entrance. The camera travels down the tunnel. It comes to the fork.
It takes direction Buffy, Xander and Giles went. The Camera speeds up. Travels
a through the darkness. It gets darker, and darker until it is pitch black. It
has gone much further than they went earlier.

Then a faint light. Robed figures standing round a fire. The two Teliot babies
are lying either side of the fire in what appears to be black Christening robes.

ROBED FIGURES
Slay-er.
Slay-er.
Slay-er.

Each robed figure puts a hand out. They are wearing dark brown leather gloves.

They turn their hands over so we can see the backs of their hands. There is a
strange symbol marked into the gloves in gold.

They each open hands and dust scatters over the fire. Suddenly the room is
illuminated completely. Bright white. Then complete darkness. Black.

Credits.
Grr Argh!

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