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Date Posted: 19:59:52 03/27/03 Thu
Author: 'Shit Talker" Tyrone Walker
Subject: Damn, nigga! Downtown's wores than the ghetto!

The platinum-hued limosine pulls up into the middle of downtown. Rotted-out buildings and fire-damage litter the streets. People shuffle about the debris, picking up empty bottles and shaking them. Some of the shop owners grimace as they look to where their beautiful stores once stood. Tyrone Turner steps out of the limo with a ho in each arm and eyes the devestation. A hobo is slowly rolling by. He has no legs and is seated on one of those rolly things that go under cars, dragging himself with his arms. Tyrone stops him by flashing a $20 bill. The bum eyes the bill like a flounder spying a juicy worm.

TURNER: "Chill, nigga, you needs to be answerin' some shit first."

BUM: "Shoot."

TURNER: "What the hell happened to this cracka' ass hub of Juno? DAMN! My 'hood don't even be lookin' like this. I know crack dealers who wouldn't be seen in this shit-hole."

BUM: "That feller' Mangahaus owned all the property rights an' people was sick o' his shit. So, all of us got together, burned this place to the fucking ground and cost Mangahaus millions. Last we saw of him, he had hoped in a black SUV and departed Juno for good. Good fuckin' riddance, too! Now we can build again."

"I can build ... WE can rebuild this place ... make it ... BIGGER! .... make it BETTER! ... and most of all ... make it ... BLACKER! Who do I talk to to buy all this shit up?"

"Buy this? City hall has the rights now when Mangahaus declared bankruptcy. Why in the hell would you buy this?"

"PO-fucking-TENTIAL, NIGGA! You might see run down buildings and fire-damaged offices, but a business-minded nigga like myself sees run down buildings and fire-damaged offices full of hos sellin' ass! CHA-muthafuckin-CHING!"

"God, I haven't had a piece of ass since I was an RWF tag-team champ."

"You? Who the fuck are you?"

"The name is Norman Smiley."

"You the same nigga that ran with JFK when I was just a lil' pimp hoin' out my sistahs?"

"Yuu'd best recognize, nigga!"

Walker pauses in deep concentration as he eyes Norman, who manages to squirm up straight and stare at him, a brief hint of the warrior within him shining through for a split second.

"MUFFASA! You take this stubby-legged nigga and clean his ass real good, get him a nice tailor-made suit and put him in the limo. Then get three of my finest-ass hos to fuck and suck this boy to make up for the last fifteen or so season's his poor ass been havin' to eat Ramen noodles an' shit while jackin' off to Crack whores who be fuckin' other niggas!"

Norman Breaks into tears and hugs the legs of Walker. Walker gives a disgusted look, but eventually Muffasa picks him up from his shit-stained roller board and walks off with him under his arm. Tyrone steps back into the limo and announces ...

"Tell that cracka drivin' the limo to take my black ass to city hall! We's goin' to make some money, nigga!!!"

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