VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2] ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 07:34:44 04/01/03 Tue
Author: Dr Doom
Subject: The Door

Doom stands just inside the main entrance to his mountain lair looking angrily at the door. His arms are crossed, one of his hands are gripping his elbow, the other has a pistol tucked under his armpit.

Doom : THAT'S how he got in?

Amara : Uh-huh.

Doom : Through the main door?

Amara : Yep.

Doom rolls his eyes and sighs, quietly muttering to himself. He points to the door.

Doom : Explain to me exactly HOW he got through a three-foot thick steel door..?

Amara : Well, he didn't exactly get through the door...

Doom : {Impatiently} Hmm?

Amara : He went through the hole that's made when someone opens that three-foot thick steel door...

Doom : So you're telling me someone let him in?

Amara : Yes.

Doom : See that they are executed.

Doom storms off after handing Amara the gun he had under his arm. Amara turns it over in her hands and points the odd weapon at the floor. She pulls the trigger and nothing happens. She rolls her eyes and looks at the two very sorry-looking main-door watchmen. They tremble. Amara walks towards the door and points at one of the two men to open the door. The two exchange glances and open the door. Amara beckons them to follow her out and, when they do, she walks back in and closes the door again. She nods and grins.

Amara : Idiots.

Elsewhere in the not-very-well-kept secret mountain lair Doom is sitting in his office, behind his desk, content at the fact that he just condemned two men to death. They didn't actually die, but he didn't need to know that. Garrett stands in front of the seated and relatively calm Doom. He shifts his weight nervously.

Doom : Well... Since you're here you might as well be of some use to me!

Garrett rubs his nose, almost revealing the desk lamp he stole.

Doom : Can you think of anything off-hand that you're good at, you pathetic lowlife piece of animal's turd scum?

Garrett : I'm pretty good at stealing things.

Doom : Hah! Stealing! I'd like to see you try to steal something from here, preferably right in front of me, that I'd never notice!

Garrett takes a couple of steps forward and replaces Doom's desk lamp.

Doom : ...a second time!

Garrett grins to himself. "Nice one." he thinks to himself.

Doom : I suppose you'd be of some use here. Or rather, you'll be of use to ME, and perform your thieving actions elsewhere. Or be evaporated!

Garrett : I thought you could only evaporate liquids?

Doom : Erm... Silence! I'll liquidise you first!

Garrett grins to himself. "This could be fun." he thinks.

Garrett : How?

Doom : By ... er... I know! I'll freeze you into an ice cube then melt you into water and evaporate you!

Garrett : But then I'll condense on the windows, and no light will get in!

Doom : Hah! I like the dark!

Garrett : Crap.

Doom : Hah, got you there, you disgusting excuse for a life form comprised of little bits!

Garrett raises an eyebrow. Alexandra stomps in. Doom glances at her.

Alex : Why the hell did you kill two of my security officers you crab-infested pube forest?!

Doom : They let this miserable excuse for a man into my lair!

Alex : So what? They let you in and out don't they?

Doom gasps in disbelief.

Doom : The... INSOLENCE!

Alex : You're in and out so much we should just build a CAT-FLAP!

Doom : How... DARE you!

Alex : A really big FAT cat-flap for a big FAT stupid idiot!

Doom : You... DISRESPECTFUL ...arse! I'm disgusted at this display of mutiny!

Alex : It's not mutiny, you stupid old prick!

Doom : Old? OLD?! That's preposterous! I'm only... erm...

Alex : Exactly.

Alexandra wanders out again. Doom grumbles and complains to himself, and doesn't notice Garrett helping himself to the pens on Doom's desk and letting himself out again. What with all the confusion and insults, Doom falls asleep.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.