| Subject: $Or at least wanted to$ |
Author:
Alicia
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Date Posted: 11:13:25 06/23/09 Tue
In reply to:
Zeth
's message, ".:. and what you mean by that is one thread down he's shagging someone else?.:." on 18:22:10 06/22/09 Mon
She didn't know why he'd roamed, having always believed it wasn't genetics despite what others had whispered, and always believed it was because of something she did or didn't do. This was how she'd begun to think. To blame herself instead of him.
She felt him shift, knew he was coming closer, could see it as such and yet she did nothing to stop it. No object of glass tossed or door slammed by mental push...she simply watched. It wasn't till he'd settled upon the bed that she realized her breath had been held. The action while not needed to live, as she could not die, was a great discomfort and did indeed cause her body to turn blue if she held it far too long.
Cool fingers wrapped their lengths around her own, dragging the upright hand down and to the bed once more. Pinning it even one might say. Eyes tore their gaze from his own a glance given their wrapped hands, it brought back a whole new wave of love, lust, and pain. The beach and the pool, that romantic sunset. She missed it all, for so deep had it been buried in her mind and heart that the onslaught of emotions finally broke her icy facade and tears began to fall. One. Two. Three...never a full flood but enough to continuously keep the fountain of water going down soft ivory cheek.
She'd heard his words. Feared they meant even worse then his previous statements before now. He didn't want the ring or her to sign? Did this mean he simply did not want to deal with her at all? This thought caused her to shrink back, hand tugged as if trying to be released. He either didn't want her or wished to keep her on ball and chain but out of his hair. Neither of which she wished to abide by. "Noooo." The word pulled past lips though it died as softly as it'd begun when he continued to speak.
A jagged sob broke at his second group of words. How long had she wished to hear this? How long had she spent sleepless nights full of tears? It was finally happening and all the pretty and almost fragile looking blonde could think was...'is this another dream? Does he truly mean it.' She wanted to, gods knew she needed to believe him, but she couldn't - not yet. "Zeth. Oh Zeth." Eyes lowering and turning away along with her face as she looked towards the dark wall beside them. "I want to believe you..."
Shoulders lifted and lowered in the effort to control her emotion as she turned back towards him. She wanted to throw her hands around the place and ask why the change of heart now. Had one too many girls turned him down so he went back towards the one he knew couldn't say no? Or was this genuine. Emotions flickered from anger, to disbelief, and then to genuine hope. The later flickered brightly clouded simply by the air of doubt. "It's your home. I gave up all for you. Please tell me you're saying the same for me. Please."
Hand that moments ago had been trying to release itself clamped down on his own, strong and determined to hold him here, as if it were the last time she'd ever see him...and for all she knew it was possible. Sapphire and emerald were blurry with tears being forced back as she waited. Words of love so tight upon her tongue she was scared they'd spill forth before she even had the chance to know his true intentions. She loved him, despite all his flaws, and his uncannily luck of always getting in trouble, she loved him...as if air itself or the very skin that surrounded her.
She loved him - but needed him to say the same thing. Then and only then could they move on to something new...something grand.
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