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Date Posted: 19:58:18 02/09/02 Sat
Author: Saras
Subject: Sand and Meat
In reply to: Tia and Jeremy 's message, "Chatting with Rowan and Saras" on 18:24:50 02/09/02 Sat

Saras had grown quiet after pointing out that he didn�t really understand. He still didn�t, but he could respect the feelings of those the most affected by them, and stayed quiet. Several people, including his master, had gotten up from where they�d been sitting, to go ponder on their own. Saras thought this must truly be grave indeed if it was having this sort of effect on his friends�. In a way, he felt a bit left out, because he was a newcomer and could not share in their pain. It felt worse, because he couldn�t even do something of a comfort to them. He knew these were selfish things, but his existence itself was based on selfish ideas. To grant the heart�s three truest wishes. He reasoned he was allowed to be a little bit selfish in wishing he was part of the group. But at least he had Jeremy who liked him�

"I really don't understand why Marz wants to waste his time with a dragon instead of another human. When you really think about it, it�s kind of kinky, you know. I mean in reality, Marz is actually having sex with an animal. How gross is that?"

Saras turned and looked at Jeremy unsure about the next wave of feelings that came over him. He didn�t know how to begin to explain them. Especially in light of his earlier thoughts on selfishness. In the end, because he was simply not a creature meant for sex, he had to concede that it didn�t matter to him. Blood and bone and meat was blood and bone and meat. He saw no difference between Marz and Tristan for that reason.

�I suppose it would be beven more horribly gross if it were blood and bone and meat spending time with sand and fire, instead of another being made out of blood and meat�� he said quietly, reflecting on his own identity for a moment. He didn�t have the problem of having to worry about Sex, but it occurred to him then, just how different he was. His blood was only blood for a short time... Once separated from his body it returned to the fire and sand that had made it. He had a fractured history interrupted only by sleep, where he spent most of his time. He was just a thing made out of sand that looked like a human� but he hadn�t even done that well� he was just confusing sand!

�Is it right for me to want to spend time with you and the others? Even tho I�m just sand�?� he asked, looking at his friend, worry creasing his smooth forehead. Tristan might be an animal, but at least he was fundamentally the same...

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