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Date Posted: 00:30:46 01/31/02 Thu
Author: Tristan
Subject: Deep breath
In reply to: Marz 's message, "Can't a guy get any sleep around here?" on 18:09:33 01/30/02 Wed

“I love you, too.”

Tristan sat back, completely startled to hear Marz speak. He gazed down at him with shock-filled wonder, blinking away his tears to stare directly into those dark, tired eyes. He felt one hand squeeze his, weakly, as though it took all his effort to complete the gesture. Tristan squeezed it back, almost fiercely, half afraid he’d break the fingers laced through his own.

“I had a nightmare, and my head still hurts, Tris.” Marz went on to admit he was very tired and that they’d talk later, before his eyes slid shut again, and he calmly drifted back into a peaceful, more restful sleep. His breathing deepened, and the color returned to his bronzed skin, so that he no longer looked as though he were about to be lain into his own coffin. The expression on his face was utterly calm, if inexhaustibly tired.

“Sweet goddess of mercy! You did it, Tristan!” Tristan jumped slightly when Tia threw her arms around him, but as he looked down into her happy, tear-streaked face, he felt a smile spreading slowly over his own face. I did, didn’t I? She pulled back, still smiling and blowing her little nose into a kerchief, before offering to bring him something to eat or drink while he waited with Marz.

He almost shook his head, because he’d been so certain he couldn’t possibly eat after this. But his stomach growled suddenly and gave him away, and his smile turned slightly sheepish. “Yes, please,” he said in a small voice, nodding quickly while still holding onto Marz’s hand. Just as she was about to get up, though, a strange impulse suddenly came over him.

He released Marz briefly and moved towards her, throwing his arms around her and drawing her into another hug in a rare display of emotion. “Thanks, Tia,” he said quietly, the tears still hanging from his lashes drying as he buried his face into her spiky blonde hair for a few brief seconds. Just as quickly, he released her, feeling unbelievably shy and stupid again, and returned to staring down at Marz.

“Tell Corum, too,” he called out as she stood, his eyes still focused downward, “That Marz is okay. He should come see him if he wants to.” When she left, he stayed where he was for a while, just staring into the sleeping face below him while his sense and feeling were slowly seeping back into him with each breath he took. Gradually, the horrible numbness of inevitability left him for good, and he could hardly believe that scant minutes ago he was sitting, waiting to lose for good the person he loved more deeply than he loved himself.

Eventually, he decided to go about making Marz more comfortable while he rested. There were no pillows in Corum’s impromptu tent, but Marz’s friend had thought to bring in his sleeping gear. Valhorek and Tristan had already lain him out on his bedroll, but the blankets were still lying folded neatly, nearby. Tristan smiled to himself as he pulled one out, seeing in his mind an image of Marz painstakingly folding and refolding each one until it was as close to perfect as it could be.

He gently lifted Marz’s head and lay the folded blanket beneath it, to act as a pillow. Next, he moved to pull off his boots and, after hesitating briefly, removing his swordbelt for comfort, as well. Obviously, he wouldn’t be needing it for awhile, and if anyone threatening should want to come through the door, they’d have one angry dragon to contend with first. He glanced at the door, then, and decided to tie the flap back, so they could let some fresh air in. It was unbelievably stifling hot in here, even though they were in the shade.

Just as Tristan was reclaiming his seat beside the slumbering Marz, absently taking his hand once again, Tia popped back in, holding a plate with a funny smelling fish on it and a hot cup of java in her other hand. He nodded his thanks as she handed it to him, self-consciously wiping at his reddened face with his sleeve, even though most of his tears were pretty much gone, now. When he realized that she hadn’t gotten any food for herself, he broke off a small piece of the fish—she didn’t eat much he remembered—and handed it wordlessly to her, snorting softly as she took it with a cute little grin.

“I’m glad you were here,” he finally said, after swallowing and taking a sip from the java. He almost began to apologize for his behavior, but rather abruptly, he realized he wasn’t sorry for it. She’d understood how he’d felt, and she’d encouraged him to use those feelings to save Marz’s life. He felt very bashful all of a sudden, because he knew he was really in her debt now. For all he knew, had she not shown up, he might have sat here silently, staring at Marz, and watching as he finally drifted away from life into death.

“You…maybe won’t tell anyone…that I…” He paused when she smiled and shook her head, still nibbling on her tiny piece of fish. Immediately, a feeling of relief washed over him, and he actually smiled back. Naiomi had promised not to tell, too, only she was gone now, just like Eremis. Maybe Tia wouldn’t leave him like they had.

He sighed, looking down at Marz again. “Have you ever been in love before, Tia?” he asked, too enraptured anew to tear his eyes away from the sleeping face beside him. It never occurred to him that the question might be very personal, and therefore very prying. He was no skilled conversationalist; in fact, he was no real conversationalist at all. He was learning to talk to Marz more, but he still loved to listen more than anything else.

“People say you’ll do crazy things when you’re in love.” He finally looked up, smiling faintly. “I think I might love him too much. Do you think…I mean, have you ever felt like that? About someone?”

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