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Date Posted: 17:41:13 08/28/01 Tue
Author: Chris
Author Host/IP: 205.188.199.158
Subject: In Parallax With Time In Space

hey guys..the other day i had like this epiphany or some shiz..and wrote 9 subconcious like poems in less then 30 mins..i really dont know how they are..i mean..people preceive them differently...but..i guess if you have some time to read then please read as much of these as u can and give me a honest opinion...thanks (btw the last 2 were written today and added on)






In Parallax With Time In Space



What Am I?

I like to throw my
Integrity into the sky
I like to watch it fly
Like a bird through my mind
It fly's
Onward to an oblivious ending
Right into the sun
I watch it everyday
Its forever changing
Same bird
Different colors
Same death
Oblivious to the world
This little bird is
To fly so high
Just to die
In the sun all alone
Still I sit and watch
Wait for it to come home



-Chris Hudson August 27th 2001



Boring Ol Barnyard Blues..

I got a wagon
With a broken handle
And no wheels
It sits there
Red scrapping off on the side
It waits there
For me to go play with it
Im to lazy
To give it the time of day
It just lays there
All alone without a home or friend
It just bakes there
Underneath the crescent sun
I think ill bake
Bake with it
And wait
For something better to come my way
I think ill lose
What's at stake
Just to make myself
Feel ok
I got the blues
And Im so out
Of everything
To say...


-Chris Hudson august 27th 2001



Without A Friend...

Born alone
I travel alone
All alone
Just me
Alone
With nothing
Just everything
Not making sense
I value something
So much
That it makes me sick
Sick to my stomach
At the sickest thought
I cant seem to help but think
That everything
Is made to be this
In some fucked up way
You were meant to hate me
And I was to be born
Alone
Without a friend
Shameless in all nature
I venture on
Without a soul to compromise in
Im all alone
With everything I do
No eye of approval
I feel so zoned
And droned
Into the voidious pit of a infinite nothing
I sit
Wait
Im sick
Alone
Scared and humbled
I gotta go get numb
Make something out of nothing
A friend
A friend im without

-Chris Hudson August 27th 2001



Predict My Fear...

Around this
Corner
Its waiting for me
Its rapeing me
All into something
Im hideing
Way away
Not far away
To close to capture
Any sense of life
Im scared
Its draining
Into my skin
Im screaming
And dreaming
Of a life away from this one
With nothing
I run
I hide
I predict my fear
Before it accures
Im crying
Lying down on the side
And waiting
Waiting to fucking die
A worthless death
Im still alone
With just it
It is my life
My existence
My fear
My weakness


Chris Hudson August 27th 2001


I Just Let Go...

Myself
In a glass
A pitcher
Of laughter
Inside
I let go
Of all else
In a second
I felt everything
I fucked it
I just let go
Of life itself
In that instance
I felt so alone
Im droned
Bound to fear
Fear a death alone
I dreamed this up
Its all in my head
Ill keep seeing this shit
Until Im dead
It all makes sense
Not only to me
Its in everyone
Everyone can be free
Just let it go
It will consume you
Just let me in
I will control you
Just let your cares care for themselves
And I will betray you
Just let me taste it
And Ill spit it in your face
Cause Im alone
And you are too
Everyone is
In this fucked up world
Im sorry if it comes off
As something of a fantasy
Of a romance so far britteled
Of a girl in a frenzy
Who dreamt up to much water
Drowned herself to sleep
Whose bed floated over the river
And whose head fell in to deep
Im awake with the water
The water is everything
Im awake with my thoughts
My thoughts are everything
Im awake with this pain
My pain is my life
And everything makes sense...


-Chris Hudson August 27th 2001


Sudden Burst (A Radius)..

I sit in my happiness
Its damp
Moist
Like my hand
Im attaching it to
Its my life
Its draining
Down my ears
Past my cheek
Into a river
Where it sleeps
I get this creativeness
Take it further
Cant match language
With love
It gets harder
Just as everything makes sense
It gets more technical
Pain sets in
I get more theoretical
And stay still
Cant move
Gotta sit still
With my thoughts
They are my device
My machine
My god
Got to mess them up in the end as well
Got to run from this shit
Got to try and accell...

-Chris Hudson August 27th 2001


The Break In The Sympathy...

Everything goes numb
Everyone
Know where Im from
They all love it
Dwell on it
With their fancy pancy bullshit
They crave it
My life in their hands
They mold it
Into something so tranced
I built it
With sudden romance
I killed it
I killed it
The break in my life
Its controlling
Everything I feel
Its remolding
Into this decayed world
Where Im staring
Into a constant state of nothing
Im consuming
Everything in anything
Its revolting
It disgusts me
And I hate it
Wish it away
Wish it to die
With pain
Everything is ok
I dont mind
Im fine
Everything is great
But still it breaks
And still my mind goes with it
Into a perfect sympathy
I rest my head
It still hurts
Im sorry baby
Im sorry for everything
Im just a sinner just like you
Im just a fuck up
And a breaker too
I just try to make the world
Seem better
Through your eyes
And I try to control myself
Myself which I despise
Even in all my happiness
Everything in place
I still cant make sense
Of all of this shit
This blessing from a dead god
Make me all so humble
I surely wish
He'd crack and crumble
Leave me alone just for a moment
So I could collect my creative thoughts
And be done with it
The non existent
Ever persistent
God we like to call home...


-chris hudson august 27th 2001


All Is Not Lost Just Yet...

Mirror
Breaks and Shambles
My face
Is all that's left
In my reflection
Its all so clear
I can see it
I can feel it
I love it
Cant live without it
That constant scenario
Reminding me
Im just a liar
That constant heartbeat
Keeping me alive
Reminding me
I am just a mortal
Sinner in my own right
But I can still look on
Look out
Start to fight
Just like it was before
Still I apologize
To all the ones I love
Just to escape the reality
Of my own failures
My identity
My potential being
I said fuck it all and fucked it all i did
Until there was nothing
Im left alone again
There is nothing
But this light
In my hind
The constant Reminder
Of my sanity
Guess Im just ok
With myself
With you
Everything
Guess Im ok after all...

-chris hudson august 27th 2001


Sincerity...

I like to remember
All the times
I was alone
In pain
With nothing
But its all a joke now
A afterthought
I feel like a whore
For thinking that way
But its ok
You love me anyway
And Im still a blind fool
Still haven't seen all your beauty
Neither have you
Not the kind you need to except
That constant beauty
Keeps me up
Just thinking of the lucky bastard Ive become
That constant beauty is you
I love you


-Chris Hudson august 27th 2001


(All poems wrote on a burst of creativity except "what am I" written an hour earlier in the same fashion)



Rainy Days...

It comes out
Like my thunder
It shoots down
Like my lightning
Were alone
In this car
As it travels
Onto hell
Traveling with the wind
It descends
At every curve
Till the end..
The end
These rainy days
Wont go away
They cant wait
Another day
To anticipate
(My death lies)
My death lies around every corner
(With every piece)
Piece of hail that falls down
On my window
My mirror
Still broken
From the weather
And cracked torn earth
Were still alone
In this moment
When everything seeps into reality
Songs seem to continue
Never end
They never end
Just like this road
It never ends
Just bends
It just bends

-Chris Hudson August 28th 2001


My Love Factory...

There is a scale
A balance
It coincides with itself
It bounces up and down
Side to side
Back again
Its my love
On a pedestal in my mind
Its ever changing
But always the same
For you
From you
It feels the same
Every
Day its waiting
Just to extend its being
Further
On down until Im at one with myself
My love is a flower
It rises and it falls
My love is the sun
It comes and it goes
But always comes back
Even hurts sometimes
When the rain wont stop
My head wont stop
Everything stops
But me
Then
It stops


-Chris Hudson August 28th 2001


(rainy days and my love factory wrote on august 28th 2001 by chris hudson)

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