Date Posted:09:15:08 08/16/10 Mon Author: Fi Subject: Touching and real >>> In reply to:
debikm
's message, "A wedding" on 17:37:33 08/15/10 Sun
Wedding scenes run the risk of being stereotypical or saccharine, but Valerie's and Daniel's big day out is anything but. You've brought out the individuality of their characters and the genuine feeling behind their vows.
>Nessa sent Kelly down the
>aisle with a warning not to run.
There's so much in this one sentence. Kelly's excitement, Nessa's protectiveness.
>Valerie had been
>surprised to discover he was a notary and he’d been
>delighted when she asked him to officiate.
Cyrus is an old friend, I presume? He sounds like someone who has been introduced earlier. I love his "you may kiss your missus" line.
>“Thank you for making me laugh again.”
Doesn't that line say it all?
>“What are we waiting for?” she called. “Let’s party!”
I bet they're going to boogie the night away!
>Wedding scenes run the risk of being stereotypical or
>saccharine, but Valerie's and Daniel's big day out is
>anything but. You've brought out the individuality of
>their characters and the genuine feeling behind their
>vows.
Thank you. I decided to time-lapse it when I was on the verge of writing everything word for word. It didn't need to be.
>
>>Nessa sent Kelly down the
>>aisle with a warning not to run.
>There's so much in this one sentence. Kelly's
>excitement, Nessa's protectiveness.
Kelly is WAY excited, and I'll incorporate more of that as I fill in the previous events.
>
>>Valerie had been
>>surprised to discover he was a notary and he’d been
>>delighted when she asked him to officiate.
>Cyrus is an old friend, I presume? He sounds like
>someone who has been introduced earlier. I love his
>"you may kiss your missus" line.
In the previous story Old Dogs, Cyrus is a friend of the family and a drummer. Every Thanksgiving they have a big get-together and play music. Cyrus brings his 5 gallon bucket to play;-)
>
>>“Thank you for making me laugh again.”
>Doesn't that line say it all?
It does. Having lost his first wife to cancer, he took a long time to grieve.
>
>>“What are we waiting for?” she called. “Let’s party!”
>I bet they're going to boogie the night away!
Stay up and play music all night!
Thanks again for your kind comments. As long as these people stay real, I know I'm doing my job adequately.
Hugs,
Debi
