Date Posted:16:26:20 05/30/10 Sun Author: debikm Subject: Okay, still now payoff for the buildup, but a happier conclusion... In reply to:
Debi
's message, "Point taken...;-)" on 19:21:09 05/24/10 Mon
So here's the rewrite of the end of the scene.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Valerie heard the far door of the bathroom close and she couldn’t keep from grinning. Daniel glanced down the hall, then gave her a curious look.
“What’s funny?”
She shook her head with an enigmatic smile.
A muted thump, accompanied by a strangled cry sounded from the bathroom.
“Ow—what the—!” A loud bang accompanied the cacophony from behind the door.
Daniel straightened, looking alarmed. “Alan, you all right?”
Muffled swearing came from the bathroom for a few more minutes then the door sprang open. Alan popped into the lobby as if he’d been catapulted, brandishing the bright purple vibrator. His eye watered, his fair skin blushed bright red around it.
Alan pointed at her, eyes darting around to ensure they were client-free. “You—“
“Me, what?” Alan snickered and chucked the thing at her. She ducked as it hit the wall with a loud THWAP!, rebounded and rolled across the floor and out of sight under a shelf stacked with pamphlets about heartworm prevention. Thank God for small favors.
Daniel eyed the device’s dark lair for a moment, then his brows drew together, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “Was that a rabbit on—?”
“Don’t ask.” Alan shook his head, his gaze fixed on Valerie.
Giving Alan a steady look, Daniel nodded. “Okay. I’m not going to ask you why you have a large purple sex toy decorated with an innocent woodland creature at work or why you’re flinging it about the place.” He glanced at Valerie with a subtle wink. “Must be why he has difficulty in keeping receptionists.”
Alan mouth opened and closed a few times then he shook his head, his face slowly resuming a more normal coloration. He and Valerie locked gazes, her biting her lips to keep from giggling. A tiny snicker slipped out and her control slipped. Alan quivered as if he were palsied then he burst out laughing. Valerie stopped trying to stifle her hilarity and backed up to sit in her chair, tears streaming down her face.
Daniel shook his head with a wry smile and picked up his racquet. “Ready to go, then?”
Alan tried to turn the locked knob of the bathroom. Valerie dangled the key, then tossed it to him. He let himself into the bathroom and grabbed his racquet, pausing as he re emerged to take a breath and give Valerie a steady look.
“Truce, okay?” She nodded, still chuckling. He flipped a hand toward the shelf. “And get rid of that thing willya? I’m sorry I ever gave it to you.” He headed toward the door.
Daniel nodded, his expression gracious as he glanced at Valerie. “Nice seeing you again, Miss—“
“My name is Valerie,” she reminded him, more laughter Alan’s expense lurking just behind the words. She could only imagine the conversation soon to take place on the way to the courts and her ears flamed again at the thought.
“Valerie it is then. Good day.” He followed Alan out the door, closing it behind him. Valerie dissolved into another fit of the giggles.
Nessa came out of the office and gave her sister an appraising look. “Did you mean to hit him in the eye?”
“Maybe.”
Nessa snorted. “You kids need to learn how to behave in public.” She chuckled, turned and went back into her office without another word.
