This way, Ms. Page ;-) -- Ladies of Lallybroch Literary Forum

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Date Posted: 21:15:21 06/25/10 Fri
Author:

debikm
Subject: This way, Ms. Page ;-)
In reply to: Page 's message, "In here >>>>" on 19:11:39 06/24/10 Thu

You know I love this story, but...

You knew there'd be one, right? The first paragraph is a bit of an encyclopedia entry/info dump. Didn't you have it before with Katie standing on the curb, dripping, the taxi just zipping away? That made it more immediate to me. The rest of the scene reads fine to me, but that first bit doesn't grab my attention the way it did (or am I imagining that first sentance from before? I AM getting old, you know...;-)

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[> [> [> Man, you have a good memory! >>>> --

Page, 20:11:58 07/09/10 Fri

I did have her standing on the sidewalk dripping! The only reason I changed it was to get her inside the pub without actually having to show her going inside. I just hate backstory. I mean, I love backstory, but I hate trying to work it in in a natural way. Lemme work on this first bit. I agree with you about the info dump. (I'm going to have a T-shirt made that reads, "Queen of the Info Dump," I swear.)

Thank you, ma'am!

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[> [> [> [> You're welcome! Can I have a Info Dump Sanitation Worker helmet? I'm so guilty of it myself. --

debikm, 11:44:27 07/10/10 Sat

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