>(And I think a "reslut" is someone who had "gone good"
>but has now reverted to sluttiness ;) *snerk*
>
>*******
Close to the hearth sat an old man
>holding a pipe with fingers like twigs. This was the only thing that tripped me up. It sounds like the pipe has fingers, not the old man.>A yellow-haired girl plonked two tankards of ale on
>the table The only table in the tavern?and swept past Richard and Miguel to bump
>shut the great wooden door; she gave quite a thwack
>for such a skinny-hipped girl. Nice image, I can just see her!The flames shivered a
>moment before steadying themselves, casting shadows on
>the dark walls and ruddying the faces of all around.
>“Beautiful,” he said in English and gave an
>ostentatious bow. Nelly hid a giggle in her hand and
>returned to the bar. The two men found a seat near the
>musicians and unbuttoned their cloaks, Richard's
>smallsword clanking against the bench as he sat.
>
>“She is a friend?” Miguel asked Richard in Latin, the
>language they both shared.
>
>“I've just been here too often,” said Richard.
>
>When Nelly returned with the drinks, Miguel leaned
>close to her ear and even in the half-light her blush
>was obvious. If he'd been an Irishman she would likely
>have slapped him, but it seemed that a foreign accent
>could excuse many sins. Don't they though? Sean Connery could read the phone book and I'd listen for hours.
>
>"My little Rose, don't be sad, for all that has
>happened"
>
>When he closed his eyes he could still feel the fire
>flickering on his lids. The music glowed within his
>chest, rose into his throat and swam out into the room.Love this image!
>
>“Long the journey that I made with her from yesterday
>till today,
>
>Over mountains did I go with her, under the sails upon
>the sea,
>
>The Erne I passed by leaping, though wide the flood,
>
>And there was string music on each side of me and my
>Little Dark Rose!”
>
>He had them all in his net: the old man with the pipe,
>the bearded spoon-player and his stilled hand, even
>Nelly and Miguel paused their play of eyes to listen.
>They belonged to him, and he belonged to the song, to
>the little dark Rose, and to the flame-shadows on the
>wall, and to the inhaled breath and heartbeat of
>everyone who listened.
>
>He opened his eyes and the spoon-player slapped his
>back. “That's a fine voice that God has given you.”
Beautiful excerpt! Aside from thos little things I noted, I think it's perfect. I am eager to read more of this.
>Close to the hearth sat an old man
>>holding a pipe with fingers like twigs. This was
>the only thing that tripped me up. It sounds like the
>pipe has fingers, not the old man.>A yellow-haired
>girl plonked two tankards of ale on
>>the table The only table in the tavern?and
>swept past Richard and Miguel to bump
>>shut the great wooden door; she gave quite a thwack
>>for such a skinny-hipped girl.
Nice catch! I've changed it to:
"Close to the hearth sat an old man, with fingers like twigs, smoking a pipe. A yellow-haired girl plonked two tankards of ale on a table..."
Glad you enjoyed the extract and I hope to post more soon
