Date Posted:14:52:48 12/29/09 Tue Author:Page Subject: Second draft of chapter inside >>> In reply to:
Page
's message, "What'cha think?" on 14:33:49 12/29/09 Tue
As I mentioned, y'all let me know that this part was headed in the right direction, but something was off in Katie's thinking and in her reactions. Recently, one of my beta readers told me the same thing, and pointed out that when Katie thought she'd changed to fit Adam's perceptions of what the Perfect Little Woman should be it was in direct contradiction to the Katie she'd seen in earlier chapters. So with your comments and hers in hand, I sat down and tweaked. Let me know if you think this is an improvement.
In Katie’s opinion, the best thing about living on the top floor was being able to hear the gentle patter of rain on the roof. She stared up at the ceiling patterned with brown stains by leaks from previous downpours and listened to the soothing sound of raindrops hitting the shingles above and tapping on the panes of the windows. She was cozy, her head comfortable on the soft pillows and the blankets just the right weight on her body. Grey light permeated the room, a soft, indistinct light that made her think of warm, lazy twilights even though it was the cold light of pre-dawn. If her mind hadn’t been in such turmoil, the combination of the placid light and soft sound of falling rain would have lulled her back to sleep.
After a night of broken rest, Katie was exhausted, but she knew sleep wouldn’t come until she’d quieted the confusion that was driving her crazy. Moving with care, she rolled her head on the pillow and regarded Adam’s sleeping face. He looked rather stern when he slept, a frown creasing his forehead and his lips in tight, firm line. Troubled dreams weren’t the cause, though; after five months, Katie knew his expression was just the way his face settled in sleep. After a moment of observation, she returned her impassive gaze to the water-marked ceiling. At least it was light enough to make out the familiar patterns there. In the dark, all she had seen were intense hazel eyes burning with desire; the very reason she found herself wide awake at dawn with her mind in a knot of confusion.
How could she have begged Jay to make love to her? To make plans to sleep with him? And how could she lie here next to Adam while she quivered with the thought of finally being with Jay? Her tired brain ran over the same worn track it had followed so much of late, trying to discover what had changed between Adam and her. The thing was, she couldn’t put her finger on anything that had changed and that’s what made her frustration and growing sense of anger all the more perplexing.
Tightening her lips with vexation, Katie glared at the ceiling as her body spoke up, reminding her yet again that it was unsatisfied and had been that way for some time. Until last night, of course, when just being pressed against Jay Carey had made her come. Five months with Adam hadn’t been able to bring her to climax and he had done a lot more than just press his fully-clothed hips against hers.
Repressing a sigh, she glanced over at Adam again. How could he not know he wasn’t doing it for her? She’d told him what she liked, but he just didn’t seem to be able to take directions in bed. In fact, he seemed unable to take directions about anything.
At that thought, Katie’s slight frown of irritation changed to an expression of shock as the ghost of a cultured Southern voice raised in anger echoed in her head. “Why are you unable to follow the simplest directions? Why can’t you just do things the way I want them done?”
Take directions. Do things the way I want. It had been her mother’s mantra and one of the few things Katie remembered about her with any clarity. She should; she’d heard it often enough. For the most part, everyone had followed Barbara Scott’s directions and in the end she got what she wanted. Except from her husband. Mackenzie Scott always stood his ground, refusing to submit to his wife’s whims.
Katie’s whims, though, were another matter. While he wouldn’t countenance Barbara’s capricious demands, Mac bent over backwards to make sure his daughter got anything she wanted, no matter what it was. It had created in Katie a thirst for control, a conviction that things should go her way.
Katie pressed a shaking hand to her brow, stunned to realize that she had reached the point where she actually accepted that as her due. After a lifetime of getting her own way, she expected people to take directions and do things the way she wanted them done. Just like her mother.
She slid out of bed without waking Adam and pulled on jeans, a heavy sweater and her rain boots. She grabbed her vinyl jacket and tooth brush, and stuffed them into her large shoulder bag. After brushing her teeth in the tiny communal loo down the hall, she splashed through the rain to The Journey. As she’d hoped, the place was almost deserted at this early hour. Doug, who worked the morning shift, was still yawning and stuffing the keys into his pocket when she arrived. Looking surprised to see her, he brought her a cup of vile instant coffee and left her alone at the table she’d taken in the darkest corner of the pub.
She drank the bitter brew without tasting it, trying to convince herself she had not turned into her mother without knowing it. But all the evidence was there, and she couldn’t deny it. From completely dismissing Adam’s desire to move to the country, to denying him the dog he wanted, she’d insisted he live the way she liked. She’d dragged him places he didn’t really want to go, made him listen to music he didn’t much care for, eat food he didn’t like. She’d expected him to take directions and do things the way she wanted them done.
Even her indiscretion in October hadn’t been enough for Adam to put his foot down. Yes, he’d been hurt, but after a day of reproachful silence he’d forgiven her, accepting her apologies and her explanation that she didn’t realize it would bother him.
Balls. The truth was that Adam hadn’t even crossed her mind when the opportunity had presented itself that night. She’d wanted to go home with another man and she’d done it without taking Adam’s feelings about it into consideration.
And what about the whole thing with Jay? Adam had to know about the powerful attraction she felt for his best friend – he’d have to be not only blind, but deaf as well not to – but he hadn’t said anything about it. Even after the charming little performance she and Jay had put on at Maureen’s, Adam had remained silent. And if – no, when – Katie and Jay slept together, she was pretty sure Adam would let her get away with it.
The pub was starting to come to life as people filed in looking for breakfast before starting their workday. Katie had no appetite and she had no wish to make friendly conversation with any of the people she knew, so she left payment for her coffee on the table and hurried back outside.
The rain had let up to a cold, misty drizzle, the kind that permeated even the heaviest clothing, and clung to the skin, sinking the cold in bone deep. Shivering, she hurried down the steps of a Tube station, mingling with the crowd of morning commuters, and boarded a train.
She thought she would strangle on the rage that was choking her. But now she knew where to direct that anger – not at Adam, who didn’t deserve it, but at herself. She was furious to realize she’d become something she hated – a selfish, demanding woman who didn’t give a thought as to how her actions hurt people that loved her.
One redeeming factor kept her from total despair: While Barbara Scott had never shown any indication she wanted to change, Katie was determined to try. Her memory dredged up thoughts of times when her mother had dressed her in frilly, fussy clothes and trotted her out for visitors to admire, like a prize pig at the Jefferson county fair. All those women remarked on the striking resemblance between mother and daughter, and Barbara had always bestowed a fond – and completely fake – look on little Katie, remarking that her daughter was indeed a tiny replica of Mommy. Fuck to that! From here on out, Katie resolved to make sure the only thing she had in common with her mother was physical appearance.
It wouldn’t be easy, though, and she knew she’d have to work hard to overcome a lifetime of ingrained behavior. With a sinking heart, Katie came to the realization that she was going to have to break it off with Adam. He was – damn, she hated to use the term, but he was too weak to stand up to her. It would be all too easy for her to continue to use him as a doormat knowing he wouldn’t do anything to rock the boat. She needed a strong man who wouldn’t take any of her bullshit, and Adam needed a woman who loved him the way he was. And Katie didn’t love him, she knew that now. If she did, there was no way she could be sitting on a crowded train contemplating the end of their relationship with such a lack of emotion.
Some time later, she rushed into The Family Dog, her cheeks pink from the cold and a warm bakery box in her hand. Absorbed in her ruminations, she’d paid no attention to the announcements of where the train would call and she’d ended up in Chelsea. She hoped the pastries would be an acceptable peace offering to offset the worry she knew she’d caused Adam by being gone all morning. When she’d seen the clock in the bakery and realized it was nearing noon, she’d been astounded.
The relief on his face when he saw her gave her a pang. Why the hell hadn’t she left a note for him? Of course, she hadn’t intended to take an extended tour of the Greater London area, but she saw her unexplained absence as another manifestation of her despicable selfishness.
Adam hurried from behind the counter and caught her by the shoulders, his eyes examining her face. “Where’ve you been, love? I’ve been out of my mind, thinking something might have happened to you.”
“I know. I’m so sorry.” With her free hand, she reached up and touched his cheek. “I should have left a note, but, honestly, I didn’t think I’d be gone so long.”
Adam sighed and pressed Katie’s hand to his face with his warm fingers. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re alright. Where did you go?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went to The Journey for some coffee.” The sight of his eyebrows raised in amazement brought a wry smile to her face. “Yeah, I know, but if I’d made it at home, I’d have woken you up. Anyway, after that I took a walk and then got on a train, and I ended up in Chelsea before I knew what was happening.”
“Chelsea!”
Katie shrugged. “And then I had to try and find the train back and I took the wrong one and…” Abandoning the rambling explanation, she held up the box. “I brought you something.”
Adam regarded it for a moment and then broke out in a laugh. “It’s not often someone goes all the way to Chelsea for baked goods. Thank you, love.”
Katie grinned. “I didn’t get it in Chelsea, you goof.” She watched as he placed the box on the counter and opened it. “They were supposed to be for breakfast. I didn’t know how late it was, though.”
“Éclairs!” Adam looked delighted. “They’ll do just as well for lunch. Want one?”
“No, those are yours. I already ate the doughnuts.” She pulled a crumpled empty doughnut bag from her jacket pocket. “Got anywhere I can toss this?”
Ignoring her outstretched hand, Adam leaned over and kissed her. “I’m glad you’re alright.”
Katie smiled. “And I’m sorry I worried you. I really didn’t intend to be gone so long.”
“I understand.” Adam took the bag from her and carried it behind the counter where he tossed it in the rubbish bin under the register. “But next time, let me know, hm?”
Katie stepped aside as a customer approached the counter. She waited until Adam had totted up the total for the guy’s rolling papers and new issue of Melody Maker before she spoke again. “Adam? I’m going to split. I promised Maureen I’d help her this afternoon and I’m already late.”
Adam handed over the customer’s change and smiled. “There you go, mate. Thanks.” He transferred his attention back to Katie. “Okay. I’ll see you at home, then.”
Katie nodded. “Later.”
Outside, the wind had picked up and the temperature was dropping. Katie looked up at the lowering clouds, thinking that if it rained again, it would probably turn into ice or snow. She shoved her hands deeper in her pockets and trudged up the steps and into Maureen’s building, relieved to be out of the cold. Her eye was caught by the half-opened door to the right of the staircase and she stepped over to it. She’d never met Maureen’s downstairs neighbors and the open door beckoned her. The room behind it appeared to be empty and, curious, she pushed the door wider. “Hello?” Her voice echoed off the walls and there was no answering call.
Katie’s heart start to beat in excitement and she tried again. “Anyone here?” Nobody was.
Feeling like she’d just received an answer to prayer, Katie pulled the door closed and took the stairs two at a time to Maureen’s flat. After a quick, warning knock, she rushed inside. “Maur! Are you here?”
Maureen looked up from the floor where she was wrapping candles in tissue paper. “Yeah, right here. What’s got you all lit up like a Christmas tree?”
“Your landlord. Do you know where he is? Can you call him? Ring him, I mean.” Katie’s words tumbled over each other in her excitement.
“My landlord? Yeah, I can ring him. What’s happened? Have the front steps caved in or something?”
Eyes shining, Katie pointed to the floor. “The apartment just below you – it’s empty, and I want it!”
“Empty?” Maureen got to her feet. “They must have snuck out during the night.” She gave an indelicate snort. “I knew they could be quiet if they wanted to. Shame they didn’t want to the whole time they lived here.” She nailed Katie with a shrewd look. “What do you mean, you want it?”
“Please, Maur?” Katie clasped her hands together in front of her in a classic pose of supplication. “Call the landlord before someone else gets it and I’ll explain later, I promise.”
Maureen nodded. “Okay.” She pulled a pad of paper from under the phone, found the number for her landlord, and started dialing.
Unable to stand still, Katie went to the door and opened it. “I’m going back down there just in case anyone else comes by. I’ll lie and tell them I’ve already rented it.”
“Good idea. You can never be too…Hello? Yes, this will be Maureen Smith here. I rent a flat from you in Blenheim Crescent, at number…”
Katie dashed out, not waiting to hear more. Reaching the ground floor, she took up guard duty in front of the empty flat. It was like divine providence, to find this place coming on the heels of her epiphany. She paced back and forth in front of the closed door, wanting to wait until Maureen joined her to explore the flat further. But when she heard voices on the steps outside she thought better of it and slipped into the empty flat. No sense in advertising its availability.
A most disagreeable smell struck her nose and she clapped her hand over her lower face. Either something was dead in the flat or would be shortly. Heart pounding with trepidation, Katie tiptoed across the trash strewn living room and peeked into the tiny kitchen, expecting to find a body sprawled on the floor in a drying pool of blood. To her relief, the kitchen was empty. Dirty – filthy, in fact – but no dead bodies. The stench, however, seemed to be more pronounced in the kitchen and Katie eyed the ancient refrigerator with suspicion. Telling herself nothing would jump out at her or peer at her with glazed, dying eyes, she reached out and grasped the handle of the appliance.
“Bloody hell, what died in here?”
Katie let go of the refrigerator with a blood-curdling shriek. Maureen’s screams joined Katie’s, and the combination served to drive them into further terror until anyone who might have been listening would think they really had stumbled across a body.
Common sense began to reassert itself soon enough, though, and as the screams died away, Katie rounded on Maureen with a glare. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! You scared the hell out of me.”
Maureen returned the glare. “I scared you? I almost pissed myself when you screamed at me. Don’t do that again!”
“Sorry. I was already spooked and I didn’t hear you come in.” Katie took a deep breath to calm herself and was immediately sorry. “Damn it!” She coughed as the miasma filled her lungs and put her hand over her nose again. “I don’t know if I can stand that smell.”
Maureen pinched her nostrils shut. “Where’s it coming from? And, more importantly, what is it?”
“That’s what I was trying to find out when you gave me a heart attack.” Steeling herself again, Katie pulled the refrigerator door open a crack and peered inside. The interior of the appliance was a pleasant surprise. “Hey! I don’t think they used the fridge. It’s clean. Well,” she amended, “it’s dusty, but that’s all.”
“Well, that’s good news.” Maureen nodded and turned to the cooker, stifling a cough. After checking the oven, she used two fingers to gingerly move aside several food-encrusted cardboard containers from the hobs. “Actually,” she honked, still holding her nose, “I don’t think they used this, either. It’s filthy, but it’ll all wipe off with hot water and cleanser. Nothing’s cooked on.”
Excitement fizzed up in Katie. Despite the atrocious order permeating the rooms, the flat so far seemed to be perfect for her. Maureen plucked at her sleeve. “C’mon, there's another room down here.” The girls walked the three short steps down the hallway and peeked around the door. “It's the bedroom. Not bad.”
Katie peered over Maureen’s shoulder. “No, it's not bad at all.” A window let in plenty of grey afternoon light and the room was big enough to hold a double bed, along with a wardrobe for her clothes. Katie turned around and looked at the closed door on the opposite side of the hall with apprehension. “I'm afraid to look in there.”
Maureen nodded in agreement. “Must be the loo. And that's where the worst of the smell is, I'm afraid.” She and Katie looked at each other and squared their shoulders. “Well, over the top, then.” Still holding her nose, Maureen drew in a deep breath through her mouth, held it, and swung open the narrow door. They let out twin exclamations of horror before Maureen slammed the door shut again. The rest of the flat blurred past them as they rushed for the front door and spilled out into the hallway, panting.
“What'd they keep in there, pigs?” Katie wondered.
“Pigs wouldn't be caught dead in there.” Maureen shook her head. “Cor, I can't believe I live right above that!”
Katie looked through the open door into the front room. “The landlord wouldn't consider cleaning it up if I rented it, would he?”
“Fat chance. As you can tell, he doesn't care what you do in here, as long as he gets his money every month. Do you mind telling me what you’re up to?”
A gust of rain swept in the hall as the front door opened, and Katie was saved from having to answer. The building’s owner, a squat man with greasy hair, stomped over to them, his mac dripping water in indiscriminate puddles behind him. “Which one is it?” he growled at Maureen.
She pointed at the door behind her. “That one, and it’s vile. The loo’s not been cleaned since 1945!”
“So clean it.” The man shifted his baleful gaze to Katie. “You’re the bird wanting to rent?”
“I am.” Katie nodded. “How much?”
The man looked her up and down, as if estimating her worth, then quoted her a price Katie thought was a bit steep, especially considering the condition of the building. A part of her mind spoke up, insisting that she wouldn’t have found the flat – the big flat, it added – unless she was supposed to live there. Given that her mind had, just that morning, brought to the forefront several key bits of knowledge she’d been denying, she decided it knew what it was talking about. She nodded in agreement. “Okay, I’ll take it.”
The landlord whipped out a piece of paper and, using the wall’s flat surface, scribbled his name at the bottom. He handed it and the pen to Katie. “Rental agreement.”
Taking the paper, Katie scanned it and found it to be pretty straightforward. She put the paper against the wall and, shaking the pen to keep the ink flowing, signed her name before handing it back to the landlord. “I get a copy, right?”
Eyes gleaming in grudging respect, he dug another rental agreement from his coat pocket and signed it, while Katie fished her checkbook from her purse. “Rent’s due the first of every month, no excuses. And keep the noise down.” Ignoring Maureen’s snort of derision, he narrowed his eyes at Katie. “Who else is going to be living here?”
“No one, just me.” Katie felt Maureen’s start of surprise and blessed her friend for not saying anything. She handed the check over, exchanging it for her copy of the rental agreement.
The landlord frowned at the check. “I only take cash.”
Katie shrugged and held his gaze. “So go to the bank, and cash it. I don’t carry that much bread around with me. But from now on, I’ll make sure you get cash every month.”
Raising an eyebrow, he gave Maureen a questioning stare. “You’ll speak for her?”
“Yeah, she’s good for it.”
With a grunt, the man pocketed the check, tossed Katie a key, and left as abruptly as he’d arrived.
“Wow, what a warm and loving fella,” Katie observed wryly. “I feel safe knowing he’s looking out for our living environment. And speaking of safe, I wonder how many keys to this door are wandering around out there.”
“Katie.” Maureen’s eyes were full of sympathy and bewilderment. “Did you and Adam split up?”
With a sigh, Katie took Maureen’s arm. “C’mon, let’s go upstairs and wrap candles, and Auntie Kate will tell you a story.”
Despite the cold rain and grey skies, spring wasn’t far off, and Maureen had been working like a fiend to produce enough inventory to see her through the busy months ahead. Before being stored in boxes, each candle had to be wrapped in undyed tissue paper and sealed in plastic bags to preserve the color and scent until it was time for them to be sold. It was a tedious, time-consuming task, and that’s why Katie had volunteered to help out. The two girls got to work while Katie tried to explain to her friend all the revelations she’d had that morning.
“I can’t keep treating Adam this way,” she said at length. “He’s too sweet a guy for me to keep steamrolling over him. And if I’m going keep from turning into a replica of my mother, I need someone who’ll stand up to me when I start acting like her.”
“Mm-hm, it does seem that way.” Maureen slid a freshly wrapped candle into a plastic bag, and began twisting the top closed. Keeping her eyes on the twist-tie she was using to hold the bag closed, she added, “I’m glad I’m not going to be there when you tell Adam, though. He loves you so much.” Her head jerked up and she looked at Katie with contrition. “Damn, I’m sorry. You didn’t need to hear that. I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay,” Katie hastened to reassure her. “I know you didn’t. But, Maureen, here’s the thing.” She put down the candle she was wrapping, and leaned forward. “I’m not in love with him, I know that now. It’s not fair to either of us for me to stay with him. Even though it’ll hurt him if I leave, it’s the best thing in the long run. And I think he’ll see that after he’s been without me for a while.” She shook her head. “Damn. I’m doing it again, expecting him to do things the way I want. And look at me, sitting here all satisfied that I’ve got everything worked out while he’s going to be hurt. Schadenfreude, for sure.”
“Oh, climb down off the guillotine, Marie Antoinette.” Maureen fixed Katie with a stern look. “You’re not taking pleasure in his misery, are you? Of course not. In fact, you’re doing what you’re doing so he can be happy, right? And I don’t think you’re going to leave him with a song in your heart while skipping down the garden path.” She brandished a candle at Katie for emphasis. “It won’t be easy for either of you, but you’re doing it for the right reasons. That’s not selfish, so stop beating yourself up over it.”
Katie looked down and fingered a piece of tissue paper. “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am.” Maureen snatched a facial tissue from a box, and coughed into it, a raspy cough that made Katie frown with worry.
“Are you okay, Maur?”
Maureen nodded, and the coughs finally stopped. “Yeah, I’m fine. I must have picked up a bit of a chest cold, that’s all. Been coughing like a fiend all morning. And no wonder, with this damn weather.” She tossed the tissue into a wastebasket under the window. “But, Katie, I think you’re just overreacting about all this. After all,
you’ve never treated me like a doormat.”
“Because you don’t let me.” Katie gave Maureen a wry smile. “You don’t let me get away with any shit, and I appreciate that. Does that make any sense?”
“Actually, it does.” Maureen nodded. “I think I get you now.”
“To be honest, you’re the only one that does get me. Most of the time I feel like I’m playing a part in a movie or something. But I can be myself with you. I guess it’s because I know you won’t put up with it, or let me run over you.” She sighed. “It’s for sure none of my boyfriends have made me feel that way. I don’t guess I’ve really felt comfortable with any of them. Not with any guy, if I’m being honest. Except…”
“Except Jay Carey.” Maureen put down the candle she held and frowned in thought. “I’d thought the way you acted when you were with him was just because you were happy. But, now I think on it…I mean, you are happy when you’re with him, but it’s because you’re being yourself. Like you are when you’re with me. Am I making any sense?”
“You are. And it’s right on. In fact…” Katie bit her lip. “I don’t think I’d even be tempted to tell Jay what to do. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t take it.”
Maureen snatched up another tissue and coughed into it. When she got her breath back, she looked at Katie thoughtfully. “You’re right about Jay, I think. He’s a pretty intense bloke, and I know I wouldn’t like to cross him. I don’t think he’s mean or anything like that. But he doesn’t seem like the kind of man who takes shit from anyone. Maybe that’s one of the reasons you’re so into him.”
“Maybe so.” Katie shook her head. “Oh, well.” She picked up the candle she had put down earlier and continued wrapping the tissue around it. “Now I just have to find a way to tell Adam without hurting him too badly.”
Maureen pulled an empty cardboard box over and placed it on the floor between them. “There’s no way to do that, so you might as well just do it and get it over with.” She began filling the box with tissue and plastic wrapped candles. “And do it soon, or he’ll wonder why you’re running round with me arranging for electric to be turned on in an empty flat.”
Katie sighed. “You’re right. I’ll do it tonight.”
Feeling precisely like a popsicle, Katie burst into Adam’s room, chased up the stairs by an early evening wind that threatened to blow the magazine from Adam’s hand. He looked up and grinned.
“Bit windy out, innit?”
“What kind of Machiavellian fool designed this building, anyway?” Katie rushed to huddle in front of the electric fire where Adam was toasting his feet. “It’s bad enough the front door won’t latch, but the stairwell just channels that wind straight up.”
“Except in July, when there’s not a breath of air up here.” Adam looked her over with a critical eye. “Is that ice in your hair?”
“It is.” Katie shivered. “It’s sleeting out there.”
“Lovely.” He rolled off the bed, removed the quilt and approached her. “Here, hand your coat to me, and wrap up in this.”
With great reluctance, Katie surrendered her coat, but was immediately rewarded when Adam laid the quilt over her shoulders, still warm from where he’d been lying on it. She snuggled into it like a Bedouin during a sandstorm, pulling the soft material up over her head.
Adam turned from hanging her coat up. “Tea?”
“Not right now, thanks.” Katie shook her head and burrowed deeper into the folds of the quilt. “Maybe later.”
“Man, this floor is cold!” He hurried back to stretch out on the bed again and thrust his sock covered feet toward the heat. “Budge up a bit there, will you? Ah, that’s better. Don’t want my toes to freeze off.” He wiggled his toes in the heat. “Looks like it’s going to be a good night to cuddle, huh?”
Katie swallowed and wished for a moment she’d never come to London. If she hadn’t, she’d have never met Adam, and if she’d never met Adam she wouldn’t be preparing to say things she knew would hurt him. On purpose this time. Damn it. “Adam, I need to talk you about something. Something important.”
“What is it? You sound serious.” The mattress dipped as he leaned forward to try to see her face, but like a coward, Katie pulled the quilt tighter around her head.
Before she could answer, the telephone rang, making her jump like she’d been pinched. Adam sighed. “Hold that thought. Let me get that.”
Irritated at the interruption, Katie burrowed deeper into the quilt. Busy with her own thoughts, she barely heard the husky sound of his voice as he conversed with the caller, but when his tone turned to one of alarm, her head popped up and she turned to look at him.
“Yeah, Mum, I understand.” Adam ran his hand through his hair, his face creased with worry. “No, I’ll be there as soon as I can get there. No, I’m coming and that’s all there is to it. Is Peter there?” He paused to listen and then sighed. “That’s good then. So I’ll see you soon. Okay, Mum. I love you, too.” Dropping the receiver into its cradle, he jumped up from the bed and retrieved his shoes from their accustomed place near the door.
“Adam?” Katie started to get to her feet. “What is it? What’s happened?”
“It’s my dad.” He sat down and began pulling on his shoes. “He’s had a heart attack and they think he may have to undergo surgery. I’ve got to get there quick as I can.”
“Can I do anything?” Katie felt helpless and lost as she watched his face grow tighter with each moment that passed.
“Well, actually…Can I use your duffel bag?”
“What? Yes, anything!” She dropped the quilt and rushed to the corner where she extracted her duffel from under a pile of folded sweaters. In silence, she helped him pack some clothing and other articles he would need. Just a little over a year earlier, Katie had received a similar phone call and she knew what Adam was feeling. She remembered that by the time she’d reached her own father’s side, it had been too late, and rushed through the packing, not wanting Adam to have to face that reality.
Adam shrugged into his coat and turned to her, his face drawn. “Okay, I guess I’m off.”
Katie hugged him, trying to give him comfort. “Call me, I mean ring me when you know something.”
“I will,” Adam nodded. His body suddenly stiffened in her arms. “Oh, shit, I forgot! Jay…I was going to ring him tomorrow. We have some songs we want to finish and…”
“I’ll take care of it for you.” Katie patted his back. “I’ll ring him and let him know.”
Adam took a deep breath. “Okay. I guess that’s everything.” He hugged her close. “I love you.”
Katie drew back and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Be careful.” Ignoring the frigid air creeping along the hallway, Katie stood at the open door, listening to Adam’s footfalls on the steps until she heard the outer door open. She retreated into the bedsit and dropped down into the chair Adam had used when he put on his shoes. Everything caught up to her at once – the early hour at which she awoke, the realization about her inherent selfishness, her decision to leave him, and the memories of losing her dad – and she dropped her head to the table, hot tears scalding her cheeks.
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