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Date Posted: 18:07:48 01/01/10 Fri
Author: Debi
Subject: New Year, New Ideas!
The holidays got away from me and so did the timeliness of my homework posting. 2010 is here, full of bright promise. So is our writing. So here are a couple of ideas.
1.'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'
Someone is starting anew. Completely, or just the beginning of a new day, it's all a chance to start fresh. Maybe it's the birth of a child, the first day of summer or the first day of singlehood after a divorce or breakup. What happens?
2. Use the following sentance in a story: "And that's when I woke up. Naked. In the backyard."
Have fun with it! I'm looking forward to the responses.
Happy New Year, everyone!
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The emancipation of Miss Rhett >>>> -- 
Page, 16:14:19 01/02/10 Sat
Although Rhett's been taking baby steps toward beginning her life over after Todd's death, the scene is the day she finally starts living.
Excerpt from working title Rhett
©2009 by Juli Page Morgan
Posted for purposes of critique only and does not constitute publication
Hungry shoppers thronged the food court at Ridgmar Mall and seating was at a premium. Rhett spotted a group of women vacating a small table and hurried to plunk her shopping bags on it, thwarting three teenagers who had been headed in that direction. Ignoring the surly looks, Rhett dropped into a chair with a sigh of relief. She arranged her purchases between her feet where they wouldn’t be readily accessible to anyone with thievery on their mind and kept a firm grip on the few bags Lilith had collected. By craning her neck Rhett could just see the top of Lilith’s fashionably short blonde bob at the Manchu Wok counter. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted one of the rejected teenagers coming toward her, eyeing the empty chairs around the table. Rhett swung one leg up and settled it on the seat of the chair nearest her to save it for Lilith and allowed the scantily clad girl to silently remove the other two chairs to wherever her friends had chosen to light, even though the child hadn't bothered to ask permission before taking them.
“You’re welcome,” Rhett called after the girl, her voice dripping sarcasm. The girl didn’t turn to acknowledge it, but Rhett was almost sure she could hear her eyes rolling. Repressing the urge to add a comment to the effect that teenagers shouldn’t buy their clothes at Baby Gap, Rhett removed her handbag from her shoulder and settled it on her lap. A few moments later, Lilith arrived, carefully balancing their food and drinks. Rhett reached up and relieved her daughter of some of her burden and Lilith smiled.
“Thanks.” She placed the two paper cups on the table. “I thought for sure that top one was going to end up on the floor before I got here. It kept trying to slide right off all the way over.”
“I’m glad it didn’t.” Rhett popped the clear plastic lid off the dish and took a deep, appreciative sniff of the mouthwatering aroma that rose from it. “I’ve been wanting General Tso’s Chicken so bad I’d have probably eaten it off the floor.”
They ate in silence for a while, satiating the hunger that could only come from a morning of serious shopping. Rhett felt her daughter’s frequent glances, but chose not to acknowledge them. Lilith had been looking at her as if she expected another head to come popping out of the neck of Rhett’s shirt since she’d seen the new car that morning. The speculative looks had increased with every purchase Rhett had made from Neiman-Marcus and Rhett knew it was only a matter of time before Lilith made some sort of comment. Rhett wanted to enjoy her food before having to explain herself to her daughter. Not that she needed to explain, but for some reason children thought they were due one.
After the food had been consumed, they sat sipping their iced tea and resting their feet. Lilith smiled. “I meant to tell you, you look nice today.”
Here it came. Although Rhett was sure the compliment was sincere, she didn’t miss the note of amusement in her daughter’s voice. “Why, thank you, sweetie. These are the jeans you got me for Christmas.”
“Really?” Lilith’s eyebrows arched. “They look good on you. I don’t remember that top, though. Or those shoes.”
“They’re new.” Rhett shrugged. “I got ‘em at Macy’s last week.” She didn’t add that the top had come from the Junior’s department since she hadn’t liked anything she’d seen in the Women’s section. The neckline of the sleeveless blouse was embellished with fake jewels that matched the vibrant red of the fabric. Rhett had never owned anything like it and had fallen in love with the way it looked on her the minute she tried it on. The three inch heels on her silver sandals were causing her feet to sing Ave Maria with each step she took, but they’d been too pretty and sexy to pass up.
Lilith nodded and took a noisy slurp through her straw. “Are you liking your new car?”
“Love it,” Rhett replied, pretending to scan the passing crowd.
“Good.” Lilith’s eyes narrowed. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
With an internal sigh Rhett turned her gaze to her child. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing!” Lilith managed to look shocked and innocent at the same time. “If you want a BMW then you should have one.” Rhett waited for the rest. “And if you want to wear clothes too young for you, then I guess that’s your call, too.”
Rhett slapped her cup down so hard the table rattled. “Too young for me? Is that what you just said? I’m sorry, but I didn’t see any age restrictions on anything I bought.”
A prissy, self righteous expression covered Lilith’s face. “Well Mother, you know as well as I do that most of the things you bought today are for women who are…who aren’t… you know.”
“Who aren’t old?” Rhett leaned toward Lilith with a frown. “You think I’m too old to look good, is that it?”
“Mother.” Lilith rolled her eyes. “It’s just the clothes, the car, the Facebook page for cryin’ out loud. You have to admit you’re starting to act a little middle age crazy here.” And with those words, the fuse was lit on Rhett’s temper.
“Middle age crazy? Did you seriously just call me middle age crazy?” Rhett knew from Lilith’s wince that her voice was a tad too loud for polite society, but she didn’t care. “That’s the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard. Let me tell you something, oh child of mine. There’s no such thing as middle age crazy. It’s middle age taking your life back, that’s what it is. After years of paying for cheerleading camps and Girl Scout trips and textbooks not covered by the scholarship, and after years of devoting all your time and energy to raising your children the best way you know how and making sure they have everything they need, you wake up and remember who you really are, that’s what it is. It’s realizing you’re still the person you used to be, somebody other than a mother, or a father. It’s being able to finally spend the money you work so hard for on yourself, to listen to your AC/DC records as loud as you want, and to hang a big ass poster of Jimmy Page over your bed. It’s looking in the mirror and realizing you still look damn good and thumbing your nose at anyone who says you have to wear flowered muu-muus and soccer mom jeans and Keds. It’s living your life the way you want, because you’ve earned it, that’s what it is!”
With a start, Rhett realized the food court was silent. After a moment in which nothing was heard but the splash of water in the fountain, a smattering of applause began. It started small, but grew in intensity as women and men expressed their agreement.
“Preach it, sister!” hollered one woman sitting in front of the Sonic counter.
“Yes, ma’am,” stated another from across the food court.
Cheeks flaming, Rhett straightened her back and gave a small wave to her new army of admirers. She risked at glance at Lilith and found her daughter staring at her, a smile tugging the corners of her lips.
“Don’t hold back, Mama,” Lilith intoned. “Tell us how you really feel.”
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[> [>
OMG!! This character ROCKS!! -- Debi, 19:52:35 01/02/10 Sat
>Although Rhett's been taking baby steps toward
>beginning her life over after Todd's death, the scene
>is the day she finally starts living.
>
>Excerpt from working title Rhett
>©2009 by Juli Page Morgan
>Posted for purposes of critique only and does not
>constitute publication
>
>Hungry shoppers thronged the food court at Ridgmar
>Mall and seating was at a premium. Rhett spotted a
>group of women vacating a small table and hurried to
>plunk her shopping bags on it, thwarting three
>teenagers who had been headed in that direction.
>Ignoring the surly looks, Rhett dropped into a chair
>with a sigh of relief. She arranged her purchases
>between her feet where they wouldn’t be readily
>accessible to anyone with thievery on their mind and
>kept a firm grip on the few bags Lilith had collected.
> By craning her neck Rhett could just see the top of
>Lilith’s fashionably short blonde bob at the Manchu
>Wok counter. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted
>one of the rejected teenagers coming toward her,
>eyeing the empty chairs around the table. Rhett swung
>one leg up and settled it on the seat of the chair
>nearest her to save it for Lilith and allowed the
>scantily clad girl to silently remove the other two
>chairs to wherever her friends had chosen to light,
>even though the child hadn't bothered to ask
>permission before taking them.
>
>“You’re welcome,” Rhett called after the girl, her
>voice dripping sarcasm.
I so want to say this many, many times!
The girl didn’t turn to
>acknowledge it, but Rhett was almost sure she could
>hear her eyes rolling. Repressing the urge to add a
>comment to the effect that teenagers shouldn’t buy
>their clothes at Baby Gap, Rhett removed her handbag
>from her shoulder and settled it on her lap. A few
>moments later, Lilith arrived, carefully balancing
>their food and drinks. Rhett reached up and relieved
>her daughter of some of her burden and Lilith smiled.
In light of the exchange between herself and her daughter later, that's a little pot calling the kettle black, isn't it? ;-)
>
>“Thanks.” She placed the two paper cups on the table.
> “I thought for sure that top one was going to end up
>on the floor before I got here. It kept trying to
>slide right off all the way over.”
>
>“I’m glad it didn’t.” Rhett popped the clear plastic
>lid off the dish and took a deep, appreciative sniff
>of the mouthwatering aroma that rose from it. “I’ve
>been wanting General Tso’s Chicken so bad I’d have
>probably eaten it off the floor.”
>
>They ate in silence for a while, satiating the hunger
>that could only come from a morning of serious
>shopping. Rhett felt her daughter’s frequent glances,
>but chose not to acknowledge them. Lilith had been
>looking at her as if she expected another head to come
>popping out of the neck of Rhett’s shirt since she’d
>seen the new car that morning. The speculative looks
>had increased with every purchase Rhett had made from
>Neiman-Marcus and Rhett knew it was only a matter of
>time before Lilith made some sort of comment. Rhett
>wanted to enjoy her food before having to explain
>herself to her daughter. Not that she needed to
>explain, but for some reason children thought they
>were due one.
Yeah, we do. It's our way of trying to keep tabs on what is happening and why.
>
>After the food had been consumed, they sat sipping
>their iced tea and resting their feet. Lilith smiled.
> “I meant to tell you, you look nice today.”
>
>Here it came. Although Rhett was sure the compliment
>was sincere, she didn’t miss the note of amusement in
>her daughter’s voice. “Why, thank you, sweetie.
>These are the jeans you got me for Christmas.”
>
>“Really?” Lilith’s eyebrows arched. “They look good
>on you. I don’t remember that top, though. Or those
>shoes.”
>
>“They’re new.” Rhett shrugged. “I got ‘em at Macy’s
>last week.” She didn’t add that the top had come from
>the Junior’s department since she hadn’t liked
>anything she’d seen in the Women’s section. The
>neckline of the sleeveless blouse was embellished with
>fake jewels that matched the vibrant red of the
>fabric. Rhett had never owned anything like it and
>had fallen in love with the way it looked on her the
>minute she tried it on. The three inch heels on her
>silver sandals were causing her feet to sing Ave Maria
>with each step she took, but they’d been too pretty
>and sexy to pass up.
The blouse I'd go for, the shoes, I'd have to take a pass on. I'm much too fond of being comfortable. But I know lots of women just liike Rhett, willing to sacrifice comfort for looking hot. Good on her!
>
>Lilith nodded and took a noisy slurp through her
>straw. “Are you liking your new car?”
>
>“Love it,” Rhett replied, pretending to scan the
>passing crowd.
>
>“Good.” Lilith’s eyes narrowed. “I just hope you
>know what you’re doing.”
>
>With an internal sigh Rhett turned her gaze to her
>child. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
>
>“Nothing!” Lilith managed to look shocked and
>innocent at the same time. “If you want a BMW then
>you should have one.” Rhett waited for the rest.
>“And if you want to wear clothes too young for you,
>then I guess that’s your call, too.”
>
>Rhett slapped her cup down so hard the table rattled.
>“Too young for me? Is that what you just said? I’m
>sorry, but I didn’t see any age restrictions on
>anything I bought.”
>
>A prissy, self righteous expression covered Lilith’s
>face. “Well Mother, you know as well as I do that
>most of the things you bought today are for women who
>are…who aren’t… you know.”
>
>“Who aren’t old?” Rhett leaned toward Lilith with a
>frown. “You think I’m too old to look good, is that
>it?”
>
>“Mother.” Lilith rolled her eyes. “It’s just the
>clothes, the car, the Facebook page for cryin’ out
>loud. You have to admit you’re starting to act a
>little middle age crazy here.” And with those words,
>the fuse was lit on Rhett’s temper.
>
>“Middle age crazy? Did you seriously just call me
>middle age crazy?” Rhett knew from Lilith’s wince
>that her voice was a tad too loud for polite society,
>but she didn’t care. You go, girl! LOL “That’s the most insulting thing
>I’ve ever heard. Let me tell you something, oh child
>of mine. There’s no such thing as middle age crazy.
>It’s middle age taking your life back, that’s what it
>is. After years of paying for cheerleading camps and
>Girl Scout trips and textbooks not covered by the
>scholarship, and after years of devoting all your time
>and energy to raising your children the best way you
>know how and making sure they have everything they
>need, you wake up and remember who you really are,
>that’s what it is. It’s realizing you’re still the
>person you used to be, somebody other than a mother,
>or a father. It’s being able to finally spend the
>money you work so hard for on yourself, to listen to
>your AC/DC records as loud as you want, and to hang a
>big ass poster of Jimmy Page over your bed. It’s
>looking in the mirror and realizing you still look
>damn good and thumbing your nose at anyone who says
>you have to wear flowered muu-muus and soccer mom
>jeans and Keds. It’s living your life the way you
>want, because you’ve earned it, that’s what it
>is!”
>
>With a start, Rhett realized the food court was
>silent. After a moment in which nothing was heard but
>the splash of water in the fountain, a smattering of
>applause began. It started small, but grew in
>intensity as women and men expressed their agreement.
I can see this, so vividly. I love it. Rhett is a woman after my own heart.
>
>“Preach it, sister!” hollered one woman sitting in
>front of the Sonic counter.
>
>“Yes, ma’am,” stated another from across the
>food court.
>
>Cheeks flaming, Rhett straightened her back and gave a
>small wave to her new army of admirers. She risked at
>glance at Lilith and found her daughter staring at
>her, a smile tugging the corners of her lips.
>
>“Don’t hold back, Mama,” Lilith intoned. “Tell us how
>you really feel.”
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!!
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[> [>
Re: The emancipation of Miss Rhett >>>> -- Lady Morilka, 06:04:28 01/09/10 Sat
>Excerpt from working title Rhett
>©2009 by Juli Page Morgan
>Posted for purposes of critique only and does not
>constitute publication
>
>Hungry shoppers thronged the food court at Ridgmar
>Mall and seating was at a premium. Rhett spotted a
>group of women vacating a small table and hurried to
>plunk her shopping bags on it, thwarting three
>teenagers who had been headed in that direction.
>Ignoring the surly looks, Rhett dropped into a chair
>with a sigh of relief. She arranged her purchases
>between her feet where they wouldn’t be readily
>accessible to anyone with thievery on their mind and
>kept a firm grip on the few bags Lilith had collected.
> By craning her neck Rhett could just see the top of
>Lilith’s fashionably short blonde bob at the Manchu
>Wok counter.
I love this description, it is so real. All those little things you need to think about when trying to eat somthing at a mall.
Out of the corner of her eye she spotted
>one of the rejected teenagers coming toward her,
>eyeing the empty chairs around the table. Rhett swung
>one leg up and settled it on the seat of the chair
>nearest her to save it for Lilith and allowed the
>scantily clad girl to silently remove the other two
>chairs to wherever her friends had chosen to light,
>even though the child hadn't bothered to ask
>permission before taking them.
>
>“You’re welcome,” Rhett called after the girl, her
>voice dripping sarcasm.
Could be me. lol
The girl didn’t turn to
>acknowledge it, but Rhett was almost sure she could
>hear her eyes rolling. Repressing the urge to add a
>comment to the effect that teenagers shouldn’t buy
>their clothes at Baby Gap,
I'm not sure about that line here. Sure, it would make a great comment, but with Rhett recalling that her shirt is from the teen department, just moments later, it seems odd. It is not a feeling on the first read, but on the second it struck me.
Rhett removed her handbag
>from her shoulder and settled it on her lap. A few
>moments later, Lilith arrived, carefully balancing
>their food and drinks. Rhett reached up and relieved
>her daughter of some of her burden and Lilith smiled.
>
>“Thanks.” She placed the two paper cups on the table.
> “I thought for sure that top one was going to end up
>on the floor before I got here. It kept trying to
>slide right off all the way over.”
So the food threatend to slide, but the drinks were fine? Sounds a bit odd to me because usually the higher stuff (cups and so) is more in danger of falling. Maybe if you change the "burden" into "stacked food" or so, it would be clearer. Cos I keep wondering with every read how Lilith has the cups after part of the burden was taken. sounds like a lot of jugling around cups to reach the food to take off. .oO(am I making sense here?)
>
>“I’m glad it didn’t.” Rhett popped the clear plastic
>lid off the dish and took a deep, appreciative sniff
>of the mouthwatering aroma that rose from it. “I’ve
>been wanting General Tso’s Chicken so bad I’d have
>probably eaten it off the floor.”
>
>They ate in silence for a while, satiating <- what does that word mean? My dictionary doesn't know it. the hunger
>that could only come from a morning of serious
>shopping. Rhett felt her daughter’s frequent glances,
>but chose not to acknowledge them. Lilith had been
>looking at her as if she expected another head to come
>popping out of the neck of Rhett’s shirt since she’d
>seen the new car that morning. The speculative looks
>had increased with every purchase Rhett had made from
>Neiman-Marcus and Rhett knew it was only a matter of
>time before Lilith made some sort of comment. Rhett
>wanted to enjoy her food before having to explain
>herself to her daughter. Not that she needed to
>explain, but for some reason children thought they
>were due one.
>
>After the food had been consumed, they sat sipping
>their iced tea and resting their feet. Lilith smiled.
> “I meant to tell you, you look nice today.”
>
>Here it came. Although Rhett was sure the compliment
>was sincere, she didn’t miss the note of amusement in
>her daughter’s voice. “Why, thank you, sweetie.
>These are the jeans you got me for Christmas.”
Love that, completly unexpectet, and you can already guess that lilith will be taken aback for a moment. :)
>
>“Really?” Lilith’s eyebrows arched. “They look good
>on you. I don’t remember that top, though. Or those
>shoes.”
>
>“They’re new.” Rhett shrugged. “I got ‘em at Macy’s
>last week.” She didn’t add that the top had come from
>the Junior’s department since she hadn’t liked
>anything she’d seen in the Women’s section. The
>neckline of the sleeveless blouse was embellished with
>fake jewels that matched the vibrant red of the
>fabric. Rhett had never owned anything like it and
>had fallen in love with the way it looked on her the
>minute she tried it on. The three inch heels on her
>silver sandals were causing her feet to sing Ave Maria
>with each step she took, but they’d been too pretty
>and sexy to pass up. I will never understand people who go shopping in high heels or otherwise uncomfortable shoes.
>
>Lilith nodded and took a noisy slurp through her
>straw. “Are you liking your new car?”
>
>“Love it,” Rhett replied, pretending to scan the
>passing crowd.
>
>“Good.” Lilith’s eyes narrowed. “I just hope you
>know what you’re doing.”
Kids can have interesting way of expressing concern for their parents, very real.
>
>With an internal sigh Rhett turned her gaze to her
>child. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
>
>“Nothing!” Lilith managed to look shocked and
>innocent at the same time. “If you want a BMW then
>you should have one.” Rhett waited for the rest.
>“And if you want to wear clothes too young for you,
>then I guess that’s your call, too.”
>
>Rhett slapped her cup down so hard the table rattled.
>“Too young for me? Is that what you just said? I’m
>sorry, but I didn’t see any age restrictions on
>anything I bought.”
>
>A prissy, self righteous expression covered Lilith’s
>face. LOL “Well Mother, you know as well as I do that
>most of the things you bought today are for women who
>are…who aren’t… you know.”
>
>“Who aren’t old?” Rhett leaned toward Lilith with a
>frown. “You think I’m too old to look good, is that
>it?”
>
>“Mother.” Lilith rolled her eyes. “It’s just the
>clothes, the car, the Facebook page for cryin’ out
>loud. You have to admit you’re starting to act a
>little middle age crazy here.” And with those words,
>the fuse was lit on Rhett’s temper.
>
>“Middle age crazy? Did you seriously just call me
>middle age crazy?” Rhett knew from Lilith’s wince
>that her voice was a tad too loud for polite society,
>but she didn’t care. “That’s the most insulting thing
>I’ve ever heard. Let me tell you something, oh child
>of mine. There’s no such thing as middle age crazy.
>It’s middle age taking your life back, that’s what it
>is. After years of paying for cheerleading camps and
>Girl Scout trips and textbooks not covered by the
>scholarship, and after years of devoting all your time
>and energy to raising your children the best way you
>know how and making sure they have everything they
>need,
I would add the love fore said children here cos other wise it sounds a bit as if she might even regrett having had them. And after such a tirade I at liliths place would have wondered if my mom regrettet having kids, instead of cheering her.
you wake up and remember who you really are,
>that’s what it is. It’s realizing you’re still the
>person you used to be, somebody other than a mother,
>or a father. It’s being able to finally spend the
>money you work so hard for on yourself, to listen to
>your AC/DC records as loud as you want, and to hang a
>big ass poster of Jimmy Page over your bed. It’s
>looking in the mirror and realizing you still look
>damn good and thumbing your nose at anyone who says
>you have to wear flowered muu-muus and soccer mom
>jeans and Keds. It’s living your life the way you
>want, because you’ve earned it, that’s what it
>is!”
>
>With a start, Rhett realized the food court was
>silent. After a moment in which nothing was heard but
>the splash of water in the fountain, a smattering of
>applause began. It started small, but grew in
>intensity as women and men expressed their agreement.
rofl
>
>“Preach it, sister!” hollered one woman sitting in
>front of the Sonic counter.
>
>“Yes, ma’am,” stated another from across the
>food court.
>
>Cheeks flaming, Rhett straightened her back and gave a
>small wave to her new army of admirers. She risked at
>glance at Lilith and found her daughter staring at
>her, a smile tugging the corners of her lips.
>
>“Don’t hold back, Mama,” Lilith intoned. “Tell us how
>you really feel.”
It is a great scene, brilliant work, and you managed to make it enjoyable and exagerated without it crossing the line to sillyness. That way the scene has a lot of debth while still be great fun. I think what Rhett had here in the end is what many dream about, but would never dare to say out loud where people could hear.
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[>
Naked... -- Debi, 14:55:56 01/12/10 Tue
Okay, it took me some time, but I finally am replying to my own homework. Molly is telling a story about how she met the man she almost married years before.
Excerpt from Downtown Babylon, copyright 2009-2010, by Debi Matlack; all rights reserved. Posted for critique and sharing only; does not constitute publication.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Molly’s mood rose a few notches after the party got under way. Bill Wagner, Adam’s buddy from the Marines was sitting at the bar. He’d made the trip from Virginia for the first time and was eagerly absorbing the stories about his friend. During a brief lull, he gave Molly a quizzical look.
“How did you meet Adam?”
Before Molly could answer, there was a collective snigger from those within earshot, followed by several people trying to tell the story at the same time.
“Hold it!” Molly rapped out. “If anyone is going to tell this, it’s me. I was there after all.”
“Sort of,” Edith smirked.
Molly pointed a steady finger at her. “You just hush.”
“Now I have to hear this.” Bill grinned at her.
Molly wiped an imaginary puddle off the bar. “Well, when I was a teenager, my best friend’s family had horses. Quarter horses, to be precise. I’d go hang out and ride, and it turns out I was pretty good at it.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” Fitz yelled from across the room.
“You shut up. It’s my story.” Molly smile belied the harsh words. Turning back to Bill, she went on.
“Anyway, my friend’s dad let me ride one of their horses in shows and I seemed to have a gift for not falling off cutting horses, so he let me ride Bugs in a few shows. I must have been about eighteen, just out of high school. We’d been to a show near Orlando, did pretty well, so someone invited Betsy and I to a pool party. It was at a family friend’s house, so Betsy’s dad said okay. What he didn’t know, however, was that the parents weren’t home.”
“Oh…” said several people. She chuckled.
“Yeah, ‘oh….’ “ she mimicked. “There were a lot of people there I didn’t know, and one of them was this tall, good-looking fellow with dark hair and dark eyes. Very nice.”
Someone made a lascivious sound, making everyone laugh.
“Now, in my younger, foolish years, I was rather proud of my ability to hold my alcohol, but all I’d ever really drank was beer.”
Someone in the crowd said “Uh oh.”
Molly nodded. “’Uh oh’, indeed. Someone busted out the tequila.” She snickered, a faint smile curling one side of her lips. “You know that song about Jose Cuervo and dancing on the bar? That was me. Things got a little hazy after the first three shots. I remember the pool and a bonfire, but not much else. The next morning, I woke up, naked in the backyard.”
The crowd lost it at that point. Molly raised her hands to draw their attention back and spoke again. “Someone had very courteously covered me with a blanket. That same someone was sitting against the tree I was sleeping under, watching me.”
“Adam.” Bill nodded.
Molly smiled. “Adam.”
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Oh Golly Miss Molly! Debi, this is fantastic. >>>> -- susiej, 18:26:39 01/12/10 Tue
>Okay, it took me some time, but I finally am replying
>to my own homework. Molly is telling a story about how
>she met the man she almost married years before.
>
>Excerpt from Downtown Babylon, copyright
>2009-2010, by Debi Matlack; all rights reserved.
>Posted for critique and sharing only; does not
>constitute publication.
>
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
>Molly’s mood rose a few notches after the party got
>under way. Bill Wagner, Adam’s buddy from the Marines
>was sitting at the bar. He’d made the trip from
>Virginia for the first time and was eagerly absorbing
>the stories about his friend. During a brief lull, he
>gave Molly a quizzical look.
>
>“How did you meet Adam?”
>
>Before Molly could answer, there was a collective
>snigger from those within earshot, followed by several
>people trying to tell the story at the same time.
>
>“Hold it!” Molly rapped out. “If anyone is going to
>tell this, it’s me. I was there after all.”
>
>“Sort of,” Edith smirked.
>
>Molly pointed a steady finger at her. “You just hush.”
>
>“Now I have to hear this.” Bill grinned at her.
>
>Molly wiped an imaginary puddle off the bar. “Well,
>when I was a teenager, my best friend’s family had
>horses. Quarter horses, to be precise. I’d go hang out
>and ride, and it turns out I was pretty good at it.”
>
>“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
>Fitz yelled from across the room.
>
>“You shut up. It’s my story.” Molly smile belied the
>harsh words. Turning back to Bill, she went on.
Molly needs an apostrophe s
>
>“Anyway, my friend’s dad let me ride one of their
>horses in shows and I seemed to have a gift for not
>falling off cutting horses, so he let me ride Bugs in
>a few shows. I must have been about eighteen, just out
>of high school. We’d been to a show near Orlando, did
>pretty well, so someone invited Betsy and I to a pool
>party. It was at a family friend’s house, so Betsy’s
>dad said okay. What he didn’t know, however, was that
>the parents weren’t home.”
>
>“Oh…” said several people. She chuckled.
>
>“Yeah, ‘oh….’ “ she mimicked. “There were a lot of
>people there I didn’t know, and one of them was this
>tall, good-looking fellow with dark hair and dark
>eyes. Very nice.”
>
>Someone made a lascivious sound, making everyone laugh.
>
>“Now, in my younger, foolish years, I was rather proud
>of my ability to hold my alcohol, but all I’d ever
>really drank was beer.”
>
>Someone in the crowd said “Uh oh.”
two sentences beginning with Someone's too close. Why not reverse this "Uh oh," said someone in the crowd."
>
>Molly nodded. “’Uh oh’, indeed. Someone busted out the
>tequila.” She snickered, a faint smile curling one
>side of her lips. “You know that song about Jose
>Cuervo and dancing on the bar? That was me. Things got
>a little hazy after the first three shots. I remember
>the pool and a bonfire, but not much else. The next
>morning, I woke up, naked in the backyard.”
>
>The crowd lost it at that point. Molly raised her
>hands to draw their attention back and spoke again.
>“Someone had very courteously covered me with a
>blanket. That same someone was sitting against the
>tree I was sleeping under, watching me.”
>
>“Adam.” Bill nodded.
>
>Molly smiled. “Adam.”
LOL
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Thanks susiej! -- Debi, 20:26:40 01/12/10 Tue
Thanks for catching the typos. This was written in about 15 minutes during my lunch break today. I had to come up with a story for the homework, and I pretty sure Valerie never let herself get in a situation like that. But Molly is telling me she was a bit of a wild child. I wonder what6 else she'll tell me?
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