Date Posted:12:49:54 02/10/10 Wed Author: Esther Subject: Hey Debi! Step this way >>> In reply to:
Debi
's message, "What I get from this" on 10:38:08 02/07/10 Sun
>Esther, sometimes I worry I'm not smart enough to keep
>up with the complexities in your stories. I love the
>sexiness, the emotions, but "Mirrors" especially has
>so many layers, I sometimes can't keep track. Doersn't
>mean that your story isn't brilliant, because it is,
>just that I'm not following all the time.
Yeah, well, I’m thinking it’s not the story that is so complex, it more that there is a span of time in between postings.
>
>On with my impressions.
Yeah, well, case and point. A few posting ago, so six months to a year ago, there was a scene where Fallon was suffering and it turns out that he disclosed that pain makes him crave sex. And not so much the physical pain, it’s the mental fighting against his instincts that makes it more so. So here, Darian is attempting to rekindle those feelings of lust. Cause it’s true, Fallon was feeling something other than pain.
>
>
>>“Darian!”
>>
>>His lips brushed Fallon’s nape. “You know, while you
>>lay there and will yourself to die, remember what
>>it’ll mean.”
>>
>How did he get from kissing Heather to touching
>Fallon? See, I'm too visual. If I don't 'see' the
>movement, it don't always get it.
LOL Well Fallon’s head was in Heather’s lap. And see? If you had read the previous bit without break, this would have been clear. I think. *G*
I do, however, admit to having characters spontaneously appear or sometimes seem to have an extra arm waving around. Thanks for pointing it out and please if I do it again, give a shout.
>
>>Fallon’s head moved back and forth. “No…no…can’t
>>do…Heather. She…deserves…bet..ter.”
>>
>>“Better than you? Oh yeah, you damned right she does.
>> At least I love her.” Darian straightened.
>>
>>“…Can’t do that to her…don’t…you…hurt her…”
>>
>>“Well, of course not. At least not right away. I
>>won’t be able to. But you know, there’s a good chance
>>with you dead, I’d possess your powers. I’ll be able
>>to say no, and I’ll be capable of the rough se—”
>
>But, honestly, if that were to happen, eouldn't it
>be the best of both worlds? One male, with all the
>charateristics of both, so Heather would have it all
>in one package? It still looks like she's going to
>have to lose one of them at this point.
Perhaps it would be the best of both world, but then it wouldn’t be nearly so much fun. *G*
Okay, seriously, these males are two separate beings with quite distinct personalities. As I’m getting from these comments, Darian is more formal, in speech and bearing. The good news is that he’s like that in my head too. Quite sincere, but still reserved and accepting. Fallon is the fun-lover. The one who would challenge and argue that the sky isn’t blue because he could change it if he so chose. So if Darian did possess Fallon’s powers, all that lust would be contained in a being that wouldn’t wield it. Sure he’d be capable, but his nature isn’t that way. And if Fallon was to cease to exist, Heather would remember him, so…
>>
>>“No…no. Deserves better than a whore.”
>>
>>“Is that what you think you are?” Darian laughed.
>>“Guess you’re not a very good one. You left Heather
>>unsatisfied.”
>>
>>Darian, what the hell are you doing?
>>
>>He’s feeling something other than pain now.
>>
>>Words have the power to hurt too, Darian. I can’t
>>let you do thi—
>>
>>Touch him like you care.
>>
>>I do care. My fingers traced over Fallon’s
>>cheek, feeling the strong angles, wondering how even
>>in pain his features held such magnificence. At my
>>touch, he eased, and crazy as it was, given what I
>>knew of Fallon’s power, it made sense. I swallowed,
>>needing to make him understand, but I couldn’t speak.
>>Instead, I soothed his hair, willed the thick mass to
>>detangle under my ministrations.
>>
>>“You feel that, bro? That’s the touch of a woman who
>>loves you. She honours you with her tears. And here
>>you lay, weak and pitiful. Unable and unwilling to
>>satisfy her needs.” Darian scoffed, a rude sound of
>>disgust. And then, he took Fallon’s chin in his hand
>>and forced Fallon to honour the oath. “Look into my
>>eyes. Let me see the truth you know is there.”
>
>
>The use of 'bro' bugs me for some reason. It seems
>too... of our world. Their world seems more formal in
>speech. I understand they are brothers, at least to
>our eyes, but the colloquialism seems out of place to
>me, especially how the rest of Darian's speech reads.
>Heather does honor Fallon with the depth of her
>caring, even if Darian is using Heather to get a
>reaction from Fallon.
Well hmmmm. I suppose Darian has been more formal in his speech. So with Susie mentioning the same thing when he said yeah, I’m thinking that I better stop tying to loosen him up, cause it doesn’t seem to be working. Thanks for clarifying!
>>His lashes flickered open, and with utter
>>ruthlessness, Darian sought the reflections.
>>
>>“My, my.” Darian laughed, but it wasn’t amusing. His
>>hurtful mirth vanished, leaving the sensation of cold
>>anger. “You’re a bastard Fallon.”
>
>
>What did he see there that made him say that? I
>know it's from Heather's POV, but I'm curious!
LOL I didn’t leave you hanging too long I hope *G*
>>I caught the panic in his voice. The world shifted.
>>But I hadn’t had a complete thought of where to go, so
>>we ended up nowhere. Darian helped form a vision in
>>my mind, and the vortex of nothing became a dungeon.
>>Dank and dark, the unease, pain and anguish were
>>ghosts of the pasts hovering in the enclosed space.
>>And yet, there was a weird vibe, almost like
>>trepidation, except excitement and aggression overrode
>>it. I could scent the magic in the air, although it
>>was very faint and used long ago.
>>
>>Nice digs, Darian.
>>
>>You think so?
>>
>>Sarcasm Darian. I’m thinking this place is kind of
>>morbid to be honest, and not where I would have
>>chosen.
>>
>>Good. You remember what’s important. Darian
>>gestured with his chin in the direction behind me.
>>
>>Fallon was on a rusty looking table. Positioned on
>>his side, his arm stretched out and his bicep
>>cushioning his head, his feet dangled off the edge.
>>
>>Shunned and misunderstood, it was up to me alone to
>>provide him comfort. Drawn to his side, I went to my
>>knees beside the table, clasped his hand in mine and
>>rested my forehead against them. I can hardly
>>forget that Fallon is meant to die.
>>
>>Not die, but cease to exist.
>>
>>Like you, or is this another riddle?
>>
>>The quick version is this. We are immortal. We
>>cannot die. Not in the way you believe anyway.
>>
>>Fallon shifted, an anguished grunt accompanying the
>>movement.
>>
>>“I’m here Fallon.” I turned my head, my cheek resting
>>against Fallon’s knuckles. So what the hell does
>>it mean?
>
>So, some quick teleportation and they end up in a
>dungeon. Is this meant to be a manifestation of how
>Fallon feels? Symbol of Heather's entrapment in having
>to let one go? Or just a real dungeon? And Darian's
>panic at being in the mirrored place, am I missing
>something?
The dungeon is a world that exists for Fallon. If that makes any sense. But this was meant more to be just a comparison of their prisons. Darian’s was one of solitude he created out of mirrors so he could ‘see’ and interact with the world outside. He did not want to entertain the notion of being caught and having to endure being held helpless while Heather’s fate was undecided. Fallon’s prison was a well-visited chamber where the darker side of pleasure was brought out. He however, developed abilities that allowed him to leave at will, but because his powers were needed by those around him, he wasn’t restricted in his movements. So he can’t technically escape his prison because it doesn’t really exist anywhere besides inside himself.
>>
>>Darian shook his head. “Hey Loverboy. Why don’t you
>>go to sleep so Heather and I can reacquaint
>>ourselves.”
>>
>>Fallon settled down, and if not entirely without pain,
>>the engaging twin of perception let me know that he
>>was in a more restful state. I worried if Fallon was
>>that diminished that he didn’t fight the order, or
>>whether Darian was perhaps more powerful than I
>>thought. Cadmus had suggested as much.
>>
>>What does it mean Darian?
>>
>>Doesn’t matter. He held his hand out as if to
>>say hold on. What does, is that Fallon wants
>>to.
>>
>>I don’t understand.
>>
>>Raised as a mortal, the easiest way to say it is
>>the world without Fallon would be a less than pleasant
>>place.
>
>But aren't they facing just that? Fallon ceasing to
>exist?
Well yeah. Sort of. *G* But the real world would be affected too. Not just their world.
>>
>>If the world doesn’t want him, I’ll take him.
>>
>>This place, what do you think it represents?
>>
>>Since we’re talking about Fallon, I’m going to
>>assume something from his past.
>>
>>His past, true. His present, possibly. His
>>future? That is up to you.
>>
>>What are you saying?
>>
>>Darian’s patience ran out. What did I ask you to
>>do? He gestured with a curt wave of his hand and
>>the image of us moments ago appeared, complete with
>>sound.
>>
>>“Yes. Listen. I can help you.” Darian’s hand
>>reached out for mine. “But you’ll have to trust me.”
>>
>>The desperation I felt still consumed me, and it was
>>odd to hear the words I spoke in my mind. I sat up
>>straight as I watched my image clasp hands with
>>Darian’s, entwining our fingers in a unity of purpose.
>>“What would you have me do?”
>>
>>“Everything and nothing, My Heart. You kiss him.
>>Caress him. Tease him. Torment him with your touch.
>>Invoke his lust. Make him forget everything but how
>>much he needs to pleasure you.”
>>
>>“Sex? That’s your solution? You think he needs to
>>get a little grind going on and he’ll be all better?”
>>On cue, Fallon turned toward me. But from the angle
>>of the image, I had to admit he didn’t shift because
>>he was uncomfortable from pain. He was aroused.
>
>Arousal is a powerful distractant, this is true.
>I'm still not following the ultimate purpose though.
>Or are we figuring that out as we go? Spoilers! I want
>spoilers! ;-)
OMG There should be a purpose??? And you know me, I have a hard time giving things away when I need to give things away, let alone spoiling them for later! ;-)
>>
>>The image faded away.
>>
>>You want me to fu—
>>
>>No. I don’t.There was such censure in his
>>blind eyes. And you can’t.
>>
>>What?
>>
>>You heard me.
>>
>>Contradicting yourself.
>>
>>Fallon has never been denied before. A little
>>sexual tension will ease his pain. Your lust will
>>make him strong.
>>
>>I shook my head in disagreement, remembering what I
>>had seen when I had searched for the truth in his
>>eyes. The dungeon we stood in brought the image into
>>sharper focus. Pain from being shackled to these very
>>devices was a tangible thing.
>>
>>You’re going to have to lose that naivety. Fallon
>>has never submitted to another’s desire. If you think
>>that just because he was restrained he wasn’t in
>>control, you won’t be able to save him. You need to
>>exert your influence over him.
>>
>>But he knows my desires Darian, and dominance isn’t
>>one of them.
>>
>>Then you better play the game.
>>
>>His li—
>>
>>He believes his life is. That’s what’s important.
>>If you want him to survive, you have to convince him
>>that there is a reason to play.
>>
>>By being a deceptive, manipulating, cock-teasing
>>bitch.
>>Yes! If that's what it takes! (LOL)
LOL
>>Ironic isn’t it? But whatever you do, do
>>not allow any part of his body inside you. Not
>>his tongue when you kiss. Not his fingers in your
>>mouth or his hand between your legs. And don’t show
>>him your back. Be on guard. He’s very…talented at
>>what he does. He’ll be slipping his cock home before
>>you can even think to say no. And then the game is
>>over because he’ll have no reason to win.
>>
>>Well, wasn’t this just the most uncomfortable
>>conversation I’ve ever had? Anything else? I
>>meant to be flippant.
>>
>>Darian was serious. Yeah. If this has any chance
>>of working, neither one of you can have an orgasm.
>>
>>
>>Are you kidding me?
>Yeah! WHat's up with that?!;-)
It’s called foreplay ;-)
>>
>>You get him aroused to the point of madness. Hold
>>him on the cusp of release. And then you get him to
>>the Senate of Peers.
>>
>>Great. Lovely. Just fucking wonderful. An
>>audience Darian?
>>
>>I’m not thrilled with it either.
>>
>>Yeah. I took a deep breath to commit myself.
>>So…he’ll come…ah…go with me…?
>>
>>He’s protected you since the beginning of time. He
>>exists for your pleasure. There is no doubt. He’ll
>>follow you.
>>
>>How do I get to the Senate? For a moment there
>>was nothing. I waited until I couldn’t handle the
>>silence. Darian? Hellllooo? A little help
>>here?
>>
>>Darian’s voice when it came was hesitant with
>>disbelief. You don’t know?
>
>How in the hell is she supposed to know that? Why
>does Darian assume she does? Wishful thinking?
Well Fallon knows. So technically she could too
>>
>>Do you think if I knew how to get there I wouldn’t
>>have asked for that judgement like Fallon said I
>>should?
>>
>>What the hell is he thinking? Darian seemed to
>>recall that he was speaking in my head. Look. I
>>don’t know either.
>>
>>This little wisp of news left me with a bad taste, and
>>for the first time, I had suspicions. Wouldn’t
>>peers imply everyone?
>>
>>Yeah. And in the eternity we spent together I
>>introduced you to how many of my kind? He
>>scoffed, shifting beside me, leaning a negligent hip
>>on one of the torture tables. That’s right. None.
>> And even before your seduction, I told you I didn’t
>>have a home. What did you think all those mirrors
>>represented? My obsession with images that aren’t
>>there and looks I can’t see?
>>
>>I searched his face, hesitant to meet his gaze, but I
>>did so, and saw what had been hidden in the
>>reflections, what had been disguised by the ones who
>>had imposed the restrictions to weaken him.
>>Prison. The giving lover before me hadn’t
>>changed. But my perceptions had. How dare they lock
>>him up? Why?
>>
>>He smiled, but it wasn’t with mirth or happiness, but
>>more like self-reproach. Congratulations, My
>>Heart. You, a half-mortal, have a self-acknowledged
>>and very intimate association, not to mention the
>>claim and rights of a mate, with two of the most
>>feared and powerful beings in existence. His
>>expression softened. For all that he’s an arrogant
>>prick, Fallon is my brother. And while that is enough
>>for my wanting him to live, I now owe him a debt of
>>gratitude. I’d do anything to save him from this
>>scheme.
>>
>>What are you talking about? I smoothed
>>Fallon’s sweat-soaked hair from his forehead.
>>
>>Fallon didn’t rescue you from a human accident. He
>>announced his intent, by aligning himself to you, when
>>he thwarted the attempt on your life.
>>
>>What attempt?
>>
>>Come off it Heather. You know. The truck that
>>crashed through yours and ripped you apart!
>>
>>No. It couldn’t be. That driver was an idiot.
>>The roads were icy. That’s al—
>>
>>Don’t YOU get it? Your existence was to be
>>snuffed out because it was feared you’d release me.
>>
>>
>>I…I did release you.
>
>Okay, I think I see the light, sort of.;-)
Sort of is better than a huh any day. I’ll take it! *G*
>>
>>Yeah. And now Fallon is insisting on a judgement.
>>What do you think his plan is? Look around you,
>>Heather. This is where Fallon believes he belongs.
>>This is where he grew up. This is where his skills
>>were honed and exploited until he grew too powerful to
>>be bound. He’s going to trade his existence for mine.
>> With you as my mate, I’m not a threat. With you as
>>my mate, I’d pose no risk to any other of our kind and
>>would not be sent back to my prison. But with
>>Fallon’s word to stay here…he’d never get to leave
>>his.
>>
>>I didn’t know. All I knew was that I wanted to be
>>with you. Tears blurred my vision. How could
>>my love for you cause all this anguish?
>>
>>It’s called heartbreak. Love is dangerous,
>>Heather. It is feared because to reach for it is to
>>risk the unknown and tempt the vulnerability that
>>lives in us all.
>>
>>I didn’t know. Darian if I had, I’d have
>never…
>>
>>Never what? Set me free?
>>
>>Oh Darian! That’s not…Um…Well…No. I didn’t mean
>>what it sounds like…
>>
>>I know. Fallon knows. The rest don’t matter.
>
>>
>>I’ve made a mess of everything. The Senate of
>>Peers won’t believe my actions weren’t part of a plot
>>to help you escape.
>>
>>No. The fact that it happened exactly as they
>>feared, won’t help Fallon. And since then, he has
>>flaunted his powers by assuming those of one of the
>>strongest Sentinels. Which isn’t a surprise to us as
>>we know him, but Sentinels have safeguards to protect
>>themselves, and yet…
>>
>>Fallon stripped him with ease. I thought of
>>Cadmus; a being identical to the brothers before me,
>>and like Darian and Fallon, he had lost everything
>>because of me. Thoughts in this world were dangerous,
>>as having the time captured Cadmus appear before me
>>attested. This last sentance loses me somewhat. I
>think it means that seeing Cadmus so easily stripped
>of his power by Fallon illustrates how powerful Fallon
>is, but I'm not sure.
Heather just thought him into the dungeon
>>
>>Darian shifted, nodding to the present form of Cadmus.
>> I believe he was set up. With his rank, Cadmus
>>would have access to our records. He shouldn’t have
>>been blindsided when Fallon admitted he was aware of
>>your existence and that he claimed you as a child.
>>Unless someone covered it up.
>>
>>I played right into their hands.
>>
>>You didn’t know.
>>
>>Doesn’t matter. I shook my head. This is
>>my fault.
>>
>>Don’t let emotion rule. Fallon would have ensured
>>there would be no loopholes when it came to his claim
>>of you. It is as he has willed it. He knew
>>this was coming.
>>
>>Fallon is suffering because of me.
>>
>>It’s not like that.
>>
>>Yeah, it is. And you’re suffering too.
>>
>>If you hadn’t responded the way you did, one of us
>>would have died. And between you and me, Lisha’s
>>presence tell me it wouldn’t have been love that was
>>lost.
>>
>>Clarity surfaced. Ceased to exist. That would
>>mea— Fallon groaned, using his waning strength to
>>get back to me. I stroked down his face with my index
>>finger, tracing his lips. His mouth opened. “Sorry
>>Fallon. I’m not allowed inside.”
>>
>>His body is yours to use for your pleasure.
>>Darian gestured. Go on. Use him.
>>
>>I hate that I have to exploit his powers.
>>
>>Yeah.
>>
>>I’m sorry for this Darian. For everything.
>>Whatever happens I want you to know that.
>>
>>Darian smiled. This is more than your doing, My
>>Heart. If anyone needs to answer for his actions and
>>justify himself, it’s Fallon.
>>
>>In contrast to the rollrole I had to play, my
Thank You! I hate when I do that! I gots it fixed now!
>touch was
>>light as I soothed Fallon’s hair off his face.
>>He’s going to detest me.
>>
>>Yeah. I know.
>>
>>I caught the note of self-cynicism. I trust you
>>Darian.
>>
>>Yeah. I know. But perhaps you shouldn’t.
>>
>>Why?
>>
>>I’m male. “And I want you.”
>The age-old dilemma. Two men, one woman...
But choice is always good right?
>>I smiled. “I’ve noticed.” You also exist for me.
>>I don’t think I was wrong to believe that you have
>>only my best interests at heart.
>>
>>Take him someplace safe. And then when you can,
>>you get him to that Senate.
>>
>>I will. I reached out and grasped Darian’s
>>hand, giving it a slight squeeze. Promise.
>>
>>Wait. Darian squeezed my hand back, and lifted
>>his chin in Cadmus’s direction. I could finish
>>this for you, but it might be best if Cadmus wasn’t
>>aware that he’s as helpless as a mortal.
>>
>>The world shifted beneath our feet and we were back
>>under Cadmus’s influence, away from the torture room
>>and back into hell as if nothing had happened. One
>>thought and Cadmus resumed his simpering consolation,
>>pulling me back, away from Fallon. “Heather. There
>>is nothing you can do for Fallon besides let him be.”
>>
>>“I don’t think so.” Rocks cut into my knees and the
>>physical pain was enough to block out the internal
>>torment. I looked around startled. We were alone.
>>The setting a place for lovers, the waterfall a
>>majestic power of its own. I had taken Fallon home.
>
>So very intriguing! I only hope I am understanding the
>plot the way it is supposed to be. I'm not sure how I
>should feel or who should come out on top, which is
>fun but frustrating at the same time. I don't mean to
>sound harsh or whiny about it, I am probably missing
>some information that might make my understanding
>better. I await more installemnts so I can kick my
>poor lagging brain into understanding!
>
Well. In a triangle of lust and love what will happen when temptation can’t be denied. Heather has looked in their eyes and has seen the truth. And by accepting what they want, she has put their wants and needs before their own. Heather is a half-mortal, meaning that this world of illusions is not enough for her. Her world is real. Her feelings are real, and she will not accept anything but. For these males, they live in a world they make up as they go. Nothing is real. And their feelings, have never been real to them either because they were never considered before, nor did they matter enough to bother. Heather’s presence has changed that. And now all three of them, with the ‘help’ of Cadmus, need to make some choices.
Now, for how you should feel, or who should come out on top, I’m thrilled that you’re not sure. *G* That seems to be working for me. And to clarify that, I don’t deliberately set out to confuse, frustrate, or otherwise expect the reader to continue reading just because they don’t understand. But in this case, if what you mean is that you don’t know if you should be on Darian’s or Fallon’s side of the fence, or who you want Heather to choose, then that means I’m on the right track. If it is me who misunderstands, and you mean the purpose of the story in the first place, well…then I have some editing to do. *G*
