Date Posted:18:51:57 10/30/09 Fri Author:Debi Subject: Re: second>>> In reply to:
Lady Morilka
's message, "second>>>" on 14:47:21 10/27/09 Tue
>>“I thought you liked me.” Valerie complained, standing
>>in front of the mirror. Sheila stood behind her,
>>superior height allowing her to look directly over her
>>head and survey her work.
>I'm not sure here, but I keep stumbling in this
>sentence. I think maybe the showing ot Sheilas hight
>is too elaborate. I think you could shorten that
>sentence quite e bit, cos if she can look over Vals
>head why emphasice her superior hight? I can tell
>she's tall from her beeing able to stand behind and
>survey. Or do you want to tell that Val is feeling
>small in comparison? Than it is not very clear ;)
ANother good point. I'll see what I can do with it.
>>
>>“All my good work—“
>>
>>“Made into something I might actually be seen in
>>public with.
>Love that timely interruption ;)
Thanks! I feel much the same way. Before my own wedding I scrubbed off most of the makeup I had paid someone to apply. If there ever is a next time, I'm doing my own!
>There NO way I was going out looking like
>>you had me. I might as well be leaning against a lamp
>>post.”
>>
>>“Valerie, you exaggerate. It’s a failing with your
>>family.”
>I like that this teasing is different from the
>other ones around Val.
Thanks. I'm not sure what I did to make her different, but I'm glad Sheila is coming across a little more solid.
>>
Valerie’s hair care
>>routine consisted of washing and conditioning it
>It? I think tah is one word too many.
Good catch.
>the
>>thick mass and then letting it drip-dry while she
>>wandered the yard or watched TV.
>>He shrugged with a smile. “My hot younger aunt.”
>Love that remark!
Phil is modeled after one of my co-workers. He's a a sweet boy and is a flirt, but very good-natured about it; he doesn't really mean anything by it, he's just a very social guy. We have loads of fun when we work together. We tell him constantly his wife is a saint to put up with him.;-)
>>
>the dublication of "attract" here is not perfect, I
>would just cut the first.
Another good catch!
>>
>
>I like the sentiment of the scene. It is a nice
>evening out, but with a few underlying tensions and
>currents that keeps it interesting. I'd like so see
>more of Sheila.
Thanks you very much. I think Sheila will be putting in an appearance at the Thanksgiving celebration and teasing Valeris a lot more.
