The buildup is almost as much fun as the act itself. (Note the 'almost') Anticipation, indeed! I love how she's planning, dosing herself with multivitamins, showering and primping for Jay. Even a women who isn't overly girly is going to want to treat each step of preparation like a ritual act almost, trying to make everything perfect. You captured the thrill and the agony of waiting.
Love it!
The thrill of anticipation (for lack of a better term *G*) builds throughout this chapter until the payoff. The first draft had them jumping each other's bones the minute they got to Jay's house, but the re-write is much different. They know they won't be interrupted, they have plenty of time; and so they have their dinner, enjoy each other's company, and let the anticipation build. I think it made for a much more poignant scene. (I hope I'm right! *G*)
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