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Date Posted: 08:28:32 04/30/03 Wed
Author: e_mc2
Subject: I'm not sure he's chattering about it
In reply to: milli 's message, "I don't see a triangle here at all (m)" on 08:08:03 04/30/03 Wed

He's made comments to his brother, but I really don't think he's talked about it to others. It's a small school, so everyone knows who's with who anyway. It isn't like my older son to let anyone know that something like this would bother him. That'd be some sort of display of weakness to him. He just says stuff to the younger one about it, acts very mean to him directly. People might know how he feels because *they* think it's wrong. Heck, maybe he started feeling bad when he saw others' reactions to it, I'm not sure.

It'd be different if just he thought it was wrong or a few people - but I actually had some senior girl mention it to me today (I had to stop in the school to sign something). She said, "Sorry for calling your house so late, but someone under [younger brother's] IM name was calling me names and leaving nasty text messages on my cell." Further conversation explained that the problem was because she said something about him dating so-and-so, "Didn't you know???". It was asked as if, if I had known, I wouldn't allow it. She told me that everyone's talking about it (that's why she wanted to know why they called just *her* names?)

See? Isn't this nuts? I looked at her like she had 3 heads, but realizing what a big deal this has become bothers me in that, well, what's the big deal????, especially to anyone but the brothers and the girl (and even then, it's the older brother's problem if a problem at all).

You have brothers - is there some sort of unwritten code that says brothers shouldn't date ex-girlfriends? Honestly, in a way, I can see how some consideration should be applied. But based on what I know of this particular situation, consideration should be at a minimum. I don't think it should be a problem for anyone. That it's a problem for anyone but the older brother is the part that is really bothering me. What are these kids thinking????!!! How are they looking at this in such a way that makes it so wrong? If it was just a few kids, I'd blow it off. But why is "everyone talking about it" (according to the senior girl I talked with) as though it's so wrong?

When you talk to your brothers, can you ask them if I'm missing something here?

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