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Date Posted: 22:53:25 06/12/01 Tue
Author: Rich
Subject: I meant to tell you to watch that thing on Channel 4 right now - Teenage Kicks - it's about underage girls who love it up the cacker and have twenty babies by their 15th birthday or something. Should be worth a look. And scroll down, I posted more shit. Yeah, I know, there's me saying scroll down...

It's Week Three in the Big Grigger household, and the current task - memorising when was the last time Grigg posted a review - has brought out tensions in the residents, as well as the arrival of a new housemate causing upset:

'Fuck off, Shazza the Zygon, I didn't say you had an orrible spaceship with a cack plan to take over the universe... I said you had an organic spaceship with a crack plan to take over the universe. Now give me an apology. FUCK OFF!!' NOMINATIONS: Shazza the Zygon, Ron Mulley 'Wawawawaskipababbeeeeeeeep!' NOMINATIONS: Jemima (clearly some Playschool resentment there), Bobby Zee 'That fucking bitch Jemima, if she comes near me again I'll transmogrify myself into one of the other residents and then rip her fucking straw legs off. Bitch!' NOMINATIONS: Jemima, Bernie Clifton 'Who's nicked me fucking ostrich? I like to dish it but I can't take it - give us me fucking ostrich back or I'll kick yer fucking teeth in. I bet that Jim Jimmer's nicked it!' NOMINATIONS: Bobby Zee, Shazza the Zygon 'Did I ever tell you about the time I made some really great filmzzzzzzzzzzz......' NOMINATIONS: Grigg Grigger, Bernie Clifton 'I'd like to nominate Grigg Grigger for all the horrible things he said about Marching Against Time, and Jemima, because a stuffed toy just really can't hope to appreciate a quality film like that' 'I'm trying to get on with everyone, and I seem to be fitting in well, but if any of them fools start giving me the jibber-jabber, I'll knock 'em into the middle of next week, chump! Have a look at my chains, I got some special embroided ones that cost me $2000' MR.T IS ABSENT FROM THE NOMINATION PROCESS FOR HIS FIRST WEEK. 'I thought I'd be getting on with Bobby Zee as I love him so much, but we hate each other in real life. I also can't stand Ron Mulley and his smug ways' 'My tits are still the smallest. I'd like to nominate Bobby Zee for constantly spitting and boring me shitless with his film talk, and Ron Mulley for being a twat, basically' 'Oooooh, you know, I think I do quite fancy Mr.T. I've just got pissed on half a can of Shandy, I think I needed it. I love Michael Jackson'. NOMINATIONS: Ron Mulley, Shazza the Zygon

So far only Jim Jimmer and Derek Griffiths have yet to be nominated.


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