I watched six films yesterday - this is the life! I also got your new parcel, Rich, cheers bud! But TWO MORE <i>Sapphire and Steel</i>s? Why? What have I ever done to you? Anyway, here's a review... -- Griff's Movie Review Message Board

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Date Posted: 07:25:18 06/06/01 Wed
Author: Griff
Subject:

I watched six films yesterday - this is the life! I also got your new parcel, Rich, cheers bud! But TWO MORE Sapphire and Steels? Why? What have I ever done to you? Anyway, here's a review...

FUCK YOU, GRIGG

Considering the technical limitations imposed on this film - it apparently took the director three months to figure out how to transer it onto tape - Fuck You, Grigg must surely rank up there with the best work of David Lean and Sergei Eisenstein as an example of a cinematic master at work.

With a total understanding of pacing, wit and a quite unique flair for composition, Rich Callaghan takes us on an emotional journey through the engaging world of naughty swear words and rude hand gestures. The revolutionary TypeCam enables us to see the keys on the keyboard being pressed in a lightning fast display of sure-handed editing. The opening titles, rivalling the genius of Saul Bass in their imagination and skill, blast the viewer with a delightful visual display that can only hint at the wonders to come.

On the performance side, surely an Oscar went astray; Callaghan, taking on acting duties as well as writing, producing, directing and editing, puts in an astonishing turn as the man driven by his internal demons to stick his tongue out and shake his hand about in a wanking motion. The V finger salute sequence, equalled in cinema only by Battleship Potemkin's Odessa steps scene, shows an actor of singular intensity and talent.

Maybe it was inevitable that the sequel wouldn't live up to the mastery of the first, and maybe Callaghan shouldn't have tried - after all, did Orson Welles make Citizen Kane II?

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Replies:

I genuinely thought you were gonna send two proper films you made, you bastard! I was really looking forward to seeing them. They made me laugh like a twat though, so I forgive you. Clown! (NT) -- Griff, 07:27:02 06/06/01 Wed
- Oh yeah, and I just found out how to change the number of letters in a reply from 500 to 1000, so we can put more instead of having to break it up. (NT) -- Griff, 07:29:34 06/06/01 Wed
  - I just saw Brighton Rock (**) and, disappointingly, there wasn't enough for a decent review, so I'll just tell ya wot I fought 'ere. It started out okay and Richard Attenborough's baby face menace was effective enough, but the pace was achingly slow and the more it went on, the more dreary and depressing it became. A great British film? My arse it is! Interesting to see William Hartnell being a right bastard though. Anyway, I've seen it now, so shut your trap or I'll lace yer! Why did you send me more Sapphire and Steels, why? I thought we were pals! (NT) -- Griff, 16:45:57 06/06/01 Wed
    - Seriously - why, whhyyyyy?? God, do I really have to sit through another four hours of that shite? Couldn't I just stare down an unflushed toilet instead? Or look at your face? It's so f***ing boring! How you can slag off Buffy and Apes but rate this piss-weak load of old shite is beyond me. Anyway, I promise to watch it regularly - one episode a year, you have my word on it. Where was your Tuesday preview then? There are a few corkers on next week. Especially on Sky! Ha ha ha ha!! Four films today, another day well spent. I'm gonna watch The Maltese Falcon before the end of the week. And watch Sierra Madre! Did you know that was the inspiration for Bob and Bob's script for Trespass? Well, it was. (NT) -- Griff, 19:11:18 06/06/01 Wed
    - I was surprised at your review there, Grigg, as I thought Cry Baby was the best of the two - I even had a theme song on that one and everything! Oh well... as for Sapphire & Steel, the pace on those is faster as they're only four episodes each. Maybe you'll like those ones... how about you give the first episode a go? As for Brighton Rock, the first time I saw it I thought it was a ****, then when I saw it again I realised it was a *****, so maybe your arse-talking will take it up to *** if you see it again in a year's time. I'm glad you found it depressing, as the first time I saw it I thought it was a comedy (what with all the pesky dated language, you queer rotter!) only on second viewing did I realise how bleak it was. And hey - did you see Jim Jimmer agreeing with me on Jacko?? A first!! Hey, Jim - don't I talk sense?? Good to see a 1000 word limit, means I can bore you shitless even more now... (NT) -- Rich, 19:15:04 06/06/01 Wed
      - Hey, are you simo posting, wank weasel? Bob being influenced by another film? I'd never believe that in a million years... Those two are snappier, I promise... give 'em a go, pleeeeeeeeeease (NT) -- Rich, 19:16:45 06/06/01 Wed
      - I just read your review of Brighton Rock, straight from the horse's arse as usual, and American Psycho caught my eye - I might watch that tomorrow. There's a Sky channel, Box Office, where you get a choice of 25 films, put in a PIN and watch 'em whenever you want. They cost three quid a go but you don't have to get off your arse and go to the vid shop. I saw Scream 3 and Pokemon this way and it's great! The channel that is, not the films. Well, Pokemon was surprisingly good. Tell you what was cheeky though - there were five songs on the end credits, each playing for about thirty seconds each so they could wring more money out of the poor parents by filling the soundtrack up. Anyway, the point is that American Psycho is one of the movies on Box Office at the moment so I'm gonna give it a go. Um... I'm sure I had a point... (NT) -- Griff, 19:21:25 06/06/01 Wed
        I am simo posting, yeah. All right, arsehole, I'll give your f***ing Sapphire and Steel another go. But I'm not sitting all the way through these ones if they're as shit as that last one, I don't care what you say! Life is too precious! At least it would be if I had a life. But either way, I've got better things to do! All right, I haven't got better things to do. But I'm still not sticking with it if it's that bad, okay?!! (NT) -- Griff, 19:24:22 06/06/01 Wed

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