James returns! Hello from the other side... -- Victors Board HOF

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Date Posted: 09:25:27 01/21/16 Thu
Author: Hugh HOFner
Author Host/IP: 99.233.14.170
Subject: James returns! Hello from the other side...
In reply to: Board Historian 's message, "James "You f**ks" post" on 09:35:25 12/02/14 Tue

Hello from the other side.
Posted on January 21, 2016 at 11:39:41 AM by James

I have not called a thousand times.

No one has any reason to remember me, but I posted here a few times during your coaching search. You were all very nervous that your preferred candidate (Jim) would not come to Ann Arbor. Some of you were close to peeing.

Then the pee turned white, because Jim took the job.

The first year under this gentleman has proceeded almost exactly as one might have predicted. He started out with a hoarse throat, because his 49'er players had dumped Gatorade on him after his last game. He was fired at that job and replaced by Jim Tomsula. Which is like you guys firing Ed and replacing him with Brian.

The season started, and the team lived up to expectations. Jim took a guy Iowa didn't really want and made him an effective quarterback. The defense kicked ass. The team essentially had one bad game. Then they went to Orlando and entered the one world more surreal and bizarre than Disney -- Jim World. They pushed down the earth, toiled under the magnificent sun, stayed in a hotel, and pushed their penises into Florida.

Recruiting season has brought new joys, in the form of a football coach whose jammies are a Michigan sweatsuit. And you know those pants have elastic cuffs. Has anyone noticed what was missing from the Quinn Nordin slumber party? An invitation from Quinn Nordin's parents, addressed to either Jim or his parents. That's how sleepovers typically work. It is non-standard for the guest to invite himself. It is also non-standard for the guest to be 52, so I guess we're not on well-tread ground here.

In short, I have found Year 1 to be a prosperous one for you and a fun one for me. I must note, I am an ND fan. I am not a Michigan fan. I do enjoy things that burrow themselves in Meyer's ass and make him upset. And despite this year's score, I am confident that Jim has every intention of upsetting Urban.

He is literally the only person on earth who is like him. His zest for living Jim Harbaugh's life is beyond measure. He attacks each moment on his own terms. He has, for 52 years, maintained a zero balance in his give-a-fuck account. He is, in a word, odd. And I hope you are enjoying this very strange, likely successful ride.

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