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Date Posted: 10:21:49 07/15/04 Thu
Author: bfny
Subject: you're at a disadvantage here...
In reply to: suzi_q 's message, "if he's fucked up enough" on 09:16:23 07/15/04 Thu

being as that you don't have personal knowledge of any of the players. I know him decently well (although it never ceases to amaze how people we think we know can surprise us). He really is a good guy. Very soft-spoken -- also very accomplished but at least outwardly humble about it. He's just not the type of guy, I think, that would be inclined to emotionally torture someone or get in a sexual pissing match. I feel fairly certain about that. I'm less certain though that there's not a bit of perversity in him that might cause him to get off on something like that (although that I doubt as well).

I really like both of them; think they are good people and a decent match -- but I had remarked often to Toni that there had to be trouble in paradise. He is the artistic director for a major record label - and is in charge of cover art for major stars (think Janet, Courtney, etc). So he works insane hours and is perpetually on a deadline. She's a stay-at-home mom with a really difficult oldest child. After working 60-70+ hour weeks, he comes home and she says "Your turn to watch the kids." Nonstop pressure -- nonstop demands, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a sort of "what about me? when's it my turn" syndrome. Now add that to the fact that he must be some sort of artistic genius, works in a world full of temptations and is a tall, dark and handsome type - and well, the whole thing ain't very surprising. I'm not condoning what he did or giving him a free pass -- just noting that I think his cheating speaks more to the relationship and the life situation than it does to him being an overly egocentric person with a strong sense of entitlement...wow - this got long.

Man -- between my mom having cancer, defending my clients against blatant smear attacks, coming to grips with the infidelity of friends and receiving proposals of my own, I'm dealing with some issues here! I need a drink!

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