[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement:
Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor
of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users'
privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your
privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket
to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we
also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.
Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your
contribution is not tax-deductible.)
PayPal Acct: 
Feedback: 
Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):
[ Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message ]
Date Posted: 10:18:14 01/31/04 Sat
Author: Jenifer
Subject: 
Update on doc appt, much confusion, read at your own risk.
Okay, so I told you all that I had still felt pregnant ever since my miscarriage in Dec. Well, yesterday morning, I turned up pos on two home preg tests. Just like before, the first line shows up and then goes away. I thought, hey, maybe I am still pregnant, with a twin or something. My blessing alluded to a possible miracle. (At this Point I will say we know this is not a new preg. because dh and I have been scared to do anything until we know what's going on)
I go to the OBGYN and the NP, first of all, doesn't have a single test result or report ready for me. When we made the appt, I had specifically said that was why I was coming. So, I have several tests I will have to come back and discuss later with the doc. Secondly the urine pt they did came up neg. Since I had already done a third test at home and came up neg, so it wasn't a shock.
I listed all my syptoms and she dismissed most of them with horomone fluctuations. They did do a blood pt to check my HCG levels. If they come up high enough, they'll do another u/s. She seems to think there might be something left over from the m/c that would be keeping my hormone levels up. I don't know what to think any more. The only test they could tell me about was the Pathology report on the tissue they removed at the ER. It was not fetal material, just early placenta formation.
I had prayed going up there that I would have the strength to face whatever they came up with, and then it was, "We don't know." I guess I was all wired up, because when they went to take my blood, I nearly lost it.
To start with, there was this drug salesman lounging in the nurses' little triage/lab station. I was waiting on a nurse to be free, and the NP comes up and announces we would be scheduling my yearly PAP smear, in front of this guy. When the a nurse told me she was ready for me, I told her she could take this gentleman first. She told me she didn't work with him, so I asked her to have him leave. He was all gracious about it, but would you have wanted some strange man to watch you get stuck, listen as they scheduled "women stuff" visits etc. He had already sat their and watched one poor lady get her blood pressure and weight checked.
Well was I glad I asked, because the nurse who drew my blood covered the hole in my arm with an alcohol patch. I yelled out, because it stung and I wasn't expecting it to. She looked at me funny and I told her, "You put alcohol on that!" She kind of laughed and said, "I always do that." Then I sputtered out, "Let me do that to you and see how you like it." She went over to the computer and just looked back at me, I told her she hurt me, and she finally said she was sorry. Of course all the nurses and the NP had seen this and I felt their stares. I started crying. Luckily they had mostly gone on about their business. I just realize how emotiononally on edge I had been.
I go back Wed to get the results from today and hopefully the rest of my bloodwork results. I'm praying I can calmly wait on results and face another office visit without totally breaking down.
Jenifer,
Mother to six earth angels and seven angels in Heaven.
Our newest angel left us Dec. 5, 2003.
We miss you Anna Marie!
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Replies:
[>
The Final Word, I guess. -- Jenifer, 19:41:35 02/04/04 Wed
I got my test results back today. Negative on the HCG. So, no miracles here. I'm just so tired of playing the am I, am I not game. I sat there, of course, forever waiting on the doc and realized I just wanted a yes or no. At this point I didnt' care.
I'm not sure where I go from here. More prayer, yes, but I'm not sure I'm understanding what the Lord is trying to tell me. My health is at serious risk when I'm pregnant, so I can't fool around with this decision. I do take it very seriously, I've not said no to more kids because I felt the Lord wanted us to have more. I would definitely never say yes to more without feeling he wanted us to, because of the dire health risks.
I just feel like I've been teased. After we had decided my 14 month old was it, the spirit came to me and I felt we were to have another. I had even reconciled myself to not having anymore, now I desperately want what I feel I was promised. I know I'll have Anna in the eternities, I guess I'm just selfish. I want a baby here and now.
Another baby wouldn't replace Anna, but it would sure fill up my arms and give me something to focus on. I guess I'll have to find something else.
More confusion. I wish I knew what to do.
Jenifer,
Ungrateful mother of six earth angels and seven precious promises in the spirit world
[ Edit | View ]
[> [>
I don't have time to say everything.... -- Breneman, 06:06:18 02/05/04 Thu
I would like but I just wanted you to know that your message was read and I tried to post a reply to the first one but it didn't post.
Thinking of you,
Mary
[ Edit | View ]
[> [> [>
I think I have a few minutes..... -- Breneman, 14:40:57 02/07/04 Sat
so let me type as much as I can. Please excuse the typo's because I'm sure I won't have time to proof-read this.
I just want to relate my experience with "mircales".
When I was pregnant for the fourth time and had only one living child at home I was terrified for the health and safetly of my child that I was currently preg. with. After lots of prayers and tears I felt the spirit speak to me and tell me that my "son" would be OK and that I didn't need to worry anymore. So I didn't. I spent the next two week completely enjoying my pregnancy and bonding with the new spirit growing inside me.
So when I went into labor at 18 weeks and delivered a daughter two days later my world shattered. I felt betrayed and lied to. I was so sad and so upset that I was having to suffer as loss like that again, especial after I had been "told" that everything would be OK. It took me quite awhile to realize that I had been told my son would be OK, not my current pregnancy or even the baby I was carry but my son. The Lord knew that I could not handle the knowledge that I was going to loose another child and instead let me enjoy my remaining (earthly) time with my child.
I was a nervouse wreck during the first few months of my next pregnancy until I was told (u/s) that I was indeed carrying a son. I knew that he would be OK. Now the pregnancy was still scary from complication and after his delivery I realized that I could have easily lost him too. But I was carrying the son I had been promised and the overwhelming panic never set in, just some mild worring.
I'm telling you all of this just to say don't give up on your mircale. Because unless you were told spefics about it occuring during this pregncy or even in the context of childbirth it is still coming or your realization of it already occuring is still coming.
Ok It looks like my time is up, the kids are calling but please remember that the way we view things and the way the Lord sees them is often not the same.
Peace and Hugs,
Mary
[ Edit | View ]
[> [> [> [>
Thank you Mary for sharing your experience... -- Jenifer, 22:53:43 02/08/04 Sun
I have had a few of these myself, though mine seldom ever resolve into something I can make sense of. During these times I had been let know that the Lord was testing me to see if I would listen to the Spirit and follow where it leads, whether it seemed logical or not. I hope to one day share these experiences with you ladies. For now, I thank you all for listening to me whine about not being able to see the whole picture layed out before me. Doesn't work out that way, I'm afraid.
Jenifer,
Mother to six earth angels and seven angels in Heaven.
Our newest angel left us Dec. 5, 2003.
We miss you Anna Marie!
[ Edit | View ]
[> [>
I'm sorry for the way things turned out. -- lynece, 23:44:29 02/06/04 Fri
I don't have any advice, but wanted to let you know I was thinking of you.
[ Edit | View ]
[ Contact Forum Admin ]
Forum timezone: GMT-7
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.
|
|
