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Thursday, July 17, 02:39:37am [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6 ]

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Date Posted: 08:19:23 10/22/03 Wed
Author: Joanne
Subject: OK - I think I get where you are coming from in regards...m
In reply to: plaidwallaby 's message, "just a quick note (m)" on 20:25:45 10/21/03 Tue

To the article. In what you said, I do agree - there is a fine line between the 2 statements of ministering and administering, mourning for and mourning with. If I look back, there are few within the church who mourned with me - and of those, all were women who had travelled the same path as I was suddenly on.

Have you considered explaining it to your RS President just as you did here? I think if it was put to her, along with the article, just the way you stated it, it might be a great teaching tool for her and for many future women within the RS itself.

When people say to me that the plan is wonderful and whatever - there is actually a family here who had a stillborn son and always talk about it as though it were a blessing - I remind them that before Jesus raised Lazarus, he was in terrible pain because of the pain the death had inflicted upon the family. He mourned WITH them and wasn't all happy - and who knew the plan better than Christ Himself? No one - and yet he still mourned.

Marie, sending you many big hugs sweetheart -

J

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[> [> [> sadly, joanne, i've said directly to the RS pres about mouring w/ vs. mourning for (m) -- plaidwallaby, 08:29:30 10/22/03 Wed

it's been several months. in fact about a month ago she said to me that she really understands what I've been trying to teach her about mourning *with*. And yet, I see no proof that she gets it. It was *after* she told me she understood that she asked if I'd considered therapy. I really believe that if the gospel worked. If people really understood it. If it wasn't just "the motions" for people, not tied up in the administration aspect, we'd never be told our babies don't count. We wouldn't be asked to "move on". We wouldn't be expected to need therapy because two years later at the time of the anniversary of my son's death, I'm grieving so much that I *must* be in need of therapy - not in need of a good hug, or prayers, or a listening ear, or a mention of my son's name...

it's my bitterness.

I hope that I can learn to never treat anyone else the way that has hurt me so much. Yet, I'm sure I'm not perfect either. I really try not to hold this bitterness against anyone, but it is very abrasive to my own soul.

Love, Marie


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[> [> [> [> Oh sweetie, I know - and it is so hard to be this far away....m -- Joanne, 12:26:34 10/22/03 Wed

Knowing what I know and not be able to give you what you need. Sometimes the internet is really good and sometimes it just points out to me the flaws of still not being able to 'be there'.

I love you sweetie - you know I do - and it is OK to mourn, even after 2 years time. It is a part of you that is very much alive, even though that part of your heart died. I guess not every one will understand and the only thing I can guess is that her comfort level is far from what the Saviour would expect it to be.

J


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