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Date Posted: 12:11:38 10/24/03 Fri
Author: lynece
Subject: Only days after LIttle Jon was gone I got a call asking if I'd done my VT for that month!
In reply to: plaidwallaby 's message, "just a quick note (m)" on 20:25:45 10/21/03 Tue

I replied my baby just died I'm sorry I didn't have time. And then bawled for hours. We had only moved in 6 months before and the ward had been split once by then as well. I only knew two neighbors and that's because we built our houses together. I never got anything from the RS, no meals, cards, visits, nothing! But my Bishop and his wife came up to us one Sunday and after expressing their sympathy asked to come over soon. I said sure. A few days later Michelle (wife) calls and says Carl is so busy, I'm just going to come by myself. I thought this was weird, but was glad to have her come. It turns out that she herself had had a fullterm stillborn son several years before. She brought me poems that she had written and others that helped her. She held me and we both cried. That first Christmas she made ceramic angel ornaments for both my babies. She told me about buying dishes at thrift stores just for the pleasure of throwing them against a wall to get her frustrations out. They moved 5 years ago and I've seen them several times since. She has 8 living kids by now I think.

After reading this article and your posts I think the reason that you can't mourn with someone is that without having suffered a similar loss it is impossible. You can sympathize, but not empathize unless you have really been there. I agree that church members should try to do more, but I can't fault them for only doing what they think will help.

L.

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