VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

Monday, June 17, 09:48:20am [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 20:24:52 11/09/03 Sun
Author: Heather
Subject: I am here in SLC and so very sad!!!

I typed this whole long story about our move and how everything came together and about how I went to court with my dd dad and all of that and it didn't post! guess it wasn't supposed to be. The short of the long, We got to move, we moved to Utah to be closer to my family. I moved away when I was 17 so it is so different but nice to be back by my family.

I am so very sad and regret saying that, my husband would be upset if he knew exactly how I felt. We rolled into town and being so far away from my family they didn't know much about Noah, just the simple facts. So after we were here for about an hour the questions started. We were doing well and I thought I was, THEN one of my sisters announced to us that she is preg. I had to excues myself and cry. I don't think I have stopped! I am so upset about this only because we (my two sisters and I) were preg. together 3 years ago together and have our little 3 year olds all with in less than a month time frame. Now they are preg and I am not and cannot be. I just am so sad and now I am second guessing our move here. How am I going to do this, not one sister having a baby with in weeks of Noahs due date but now two! I am a mess. I so need help with this one.

Then to top things off we went to my parents ward today and everyone has a newborns! I sat in Sunday School and cried, there was a newborn sitting behind me and when he cried I thought I was going to just melt! I wanted to. If I wasn't in the ft. of the room I would of just left but I was crying and I am sure I had makeup all over my face, that would have looked real good walking out. I haven't worn make up in months and it seems that every time I give it a try, thinking I could make it at least 3 hours without crying, well it doesn't work...

I am a mess and I need a xanax!

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Oh Heather! You need to come see me! -- lynece, 17:08:46 11/10/03 Mon

Except I have the flu and I don't think you need that on top of everything else! LOL

I'm so sorry life is so tough. You have gone through a lot and still are. Losing your son and now changing homes is momentous. I'm so sorry about your sisters being preg. I had that with cousins and neighbors and I do know how much it hurts. We tend to think that we can run away from the pain and if only... we'd start to feel better. It doesn't work that way.

send me an email and I'll send you my home # and address. We need to get Sheila and get together ASAP!

Lynece
Oh and my other home is under contract again. We're supposed to close on in a week, but if we get a better offer then the potential buyers would have 72 hrs to go forward to closing or back out. If you are truly interested and want to go see it, just email me. I'll find the online pics as well. it was built in 1995 and is a mulitlevel 3 bad 2 bath upstairs with an added bedroom and bath in the basement. It's on 1/4 acre in a very cute neigborhood. We moved cause I couldn't stand the memories. We still owe $134 on it and had to accept a low offer of $147 with us paying 3% of the closing costs which means after realtor fees we're going to have to come up with about 3K to close. EMAIL Me! rowntree@networld.com


[ Edit | View ]

[> Oh sweetie.......m -- Joanne, 08:59:38 11/11/03 Tue

I am so sorry that all of this seems to be coming to head suddenly. As a counsellor, I often counsel people to not make any decisions like that until at least a year had passed - but sometimes life has different ideas.

First, please call your RS President and tell her what happened in regards to Noah and how hard it seems to be with everything going on in your life. Tell her you need VT that are going to be empathetic to your needs over the next year or two, and that will not be judgmental. You also need to realize that there are likely a whole group of women there that know what you are going through - a joy shared is doubled and a sorrow shared is halved. Being able to talk to each other about our sorrows and have them be understanding is a right and a privilege - and there are members everywhere that can be there for you when you need it most.

I, too, spent time in RS crying (and in the Primary bathroom) - Hannah was buried in the cemetery directly beside our chapel and trust me, the temptation to just up, leave and go to her was extremely overwhelming to me most Sundays. But when I did cry, there was always someone who just put their arm around me or gave me a pat - it is OK to cry, it is OK to grieve, it is OK to mourn. Frankly, if you weren't, I would be wondering and worrying a lot more.

And then, you need to go and see Lynece - you need the companionship of someone in your life that you can see, feel and touch that has been on this same journey. No matter how much it hurts, you will still feel better -

And about your sisters, well all I can say is I am deeply sorry and know how much this will hurt the whole entire time. I had 2 formerly dear friends who were pg and due right along with me - neither of them would see me, call me or look at me after Hannah died. It made me feel like they thought having their baby die in their bodies was contagious - and it caused a riff that didn't clear up until long after their children were born.

Don't let that happen with your family - give your sisters the opportunity to mourn with you and in the end, you will find happiness in watching their children grow. Many many times, I have looked at my other girls and heard Hannah's laughter along with theirs - and this will happen for you, too, in the Lord's own due time.

Sending many many hugs your way - and if I had the airmiles, I'd be in Utah in a heartbeat...we have very good friends in Bountiful who are still bugging me to come and trust me, if I could....I would.

J


[ Edit | View ]

[> [> Thanks, -- Heather, 21:15:59 11/11/03 Tue

I do feel a little better today.
Thanks for letting me vent and get all of that off of my sholders.

I have had a bit of overwhelming life latley and it gets to me occasonally, (often). I need to take time to talk about Noah and my feelings, it seems when I try to get past that and pretend that nothing happend I end up worse off.

Thanks for the advice to talk to the R.S. Pres. I will that is a good idea. I am sure there is someone else in the ward that has been through this or sim.

I will keep you updated on my mess of a life as I slowly pull it back together.
Heather


[ Edit | View ]


[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-7
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.