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Thursday, August 14, 12:01:05pm [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6 ]

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Date Posted: 17:08:46 11/10/03 Mon
Author: lynece
Subject: Oh Heather! You need to come see me!
In reply to: Heather 's message, "I am here in SLC and so very sad!!!" on 20:24:52 11/09/03 Sun

Except I have the flu and I don't think you need that on top of everything else! LOL

I'm so sorry life is so tough. You have gone through a lot and still are. Losing your son and now changing homes is momentous. I'm so sorry about your sisters being preg. I had that with cousins and neighbors and I do know how much it hurts. We tend to think that we can run away from the pain and if only... we'd start to feel better. It doesn't work that way.

send me an email and I'll send you my home # and address. We need to get Sheila and get together ASAP!

Lynece
Oh and my other home is under contract again. We're supposed to close on in a week, but if we get a better offer then the potential buyers would have 72 hrs to go forward to closing or back out. If you are truly interested and want to go see it, just email me. I'll find the online pics as well. it was built in 1995 and is a mulitlevel 3 bad 2 bath upstairs with an added bedroom and bath in the basement. It's on 1/4 acre in a very cute neigborhood. We moved cause I couldn't stand the memories. We still owe $134 on it and had to accept a low offer of $147 with us paying 3% of the closing costs which means after realtor fees we're going to have to come up with about 3K to close. EMAIL Me! rowntree@networld.com

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Replies:

[> Oh sweetie.......m -- Joanne, 08:59:38 11/11/03 Tue

I am so sorry that all of this seems to be coming to head suddenly. As a counsellor, I often counsel people to not make any decisions like that until at least a year had passed - but sometimes life has different ideas.

First, please call your RS President and tell her what happened in regards to Noah and how hard it seems to be with everything going on in your life. Tell her you need VT that are going to be empathetic to your needs over the next year or two, and that will not be judgmental. You also need to realize that there are likely a whole group of women there that know what you are going through - a joy shared is doubled and a sorrow shared is halved. Being able to talk to each other about our sorrows and have them be understanding is a right and a privilege - and there are members everywhere that can be there for you when you need it most.

I, too, spent time in RS crying (and in the Primary bathroom) - Hannah was buried in the cemetery directly beside our chapel and trust me, the temptation to just up, leave and go to her was extremely overwhelming to me most Sundays. But when I did cry, there was always someone who just put their arm around me or gave me a pat - it is OK to cry, it is OK to grieve, it is OK to mourn. Frankly, if you weren't, I would be wondering and worrying a lot more.

And then, you need to go and see Lynece - you need the companionship of someone in your life that you can see, feel and touch that has been on this same journey. No matter how much it hurts, you will still feel better -

And about your sisters, well all I can say is I am deeply sorry and know how much this will hurt the whole entire time. I had 2 formerly dear friends who were pg and due right along with me - neither of them would see me, call me or look at me after Hannah died. It made me feel like they thought having their baby die in their bodies was contagious - and it caused a riff that didn't clear up until long after their children were born.

Don't let that happen with your family - give your sisters the opportunity to mourn with you and in the end, you will find happiness in watching their children grow. Many many times, I have looked at my other girls and heard Hannah's laughter along with theirs - and this will happen for you, too, in the Lord's own due time.

Sending many many hugs your way - and if I had the airmiles, I'd be in Utah in a heartbeat...we have very good friends in Bountiful who are still bugging me to come and trust me, if I could....I would.

J


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[> [> Thanks, -- Heather, 21:15:59 11/11/03 Tue

I do feel a little better today.
Thanks for letting me vent and get all of that off of my sholders.

I have had a bit of overwhelming life latley and it gets to me occasonally, (often). I need to take time to talk about Noah and my feelings, it seems when I try to get past that and pretend that nothing happend I end up worse off.

Thanks for the advice to talk to the R.S. Pres. I will that is a good idea. I am sure there is someone else in the ward that has been through this or sim.

I will keep you updated on my mess of a life as I slowly pull it back together.
Heather


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