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Monday, June 17, 09:17:49am [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, [5], 6 ]

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Date Posted: 09:58:35 10/09/03 Thu
Author: lynece
Subject: Yes MA'AM! Hee Hee. It went very well
In reply to: Joanne 's message, "OK spill Lynece, how did the Enrichment meeting go???....m" on 07:49:11 10/09/03 Thu

I chose an article on being a family manager and basically just read it. For my handouts I copies these 10 steps and then made a little "survival kit" with a paperclip (for keeping things together) an eraser(erasing past mistakes) reinforcer labels (for reinforcing good behavior) chalk (chalking things up to experience) gum (for sticking to your goals) and a baggie (a place to keep it all) There were 6! lessons and we ended up going over 2hrs, but I learned a lot and really felt spiritually filled. It was also nice to visit with RS sisters as I'm in primary. But, I'm really glad it is over. I've cut and copied the article here is you want to read it. L.
Deseret News, Thursday, October 02, 2003
Becoming a Family Manager
Kathy Peel suggests 10 important steps to take if you want to be a family manager.

1. See yourself as a true "manager." Being a mom means more than being a parent. You oversee an economic institution that includes such services as meal preparation, housecleaning, transportation, shopping and much more.
2. Manage by departments. Compartmentalizing duties makes a lot of sense. Divide your duties into the following departments: home and property, food, money, family and friends, special events, time and scheduling, self-management.
3. Have a base of operations. Every manager needs a Control Central, be it a desk, countertop or office.
4. Know your mission. Successful businesses have a mission. Over the years, Peel has simplified her mission statement to read: "To create a home full of love and comfort, order and flexibility, stimulation and relaxation."
5. Dream big. Spend some time dreaming, picturing what your home, family and life would look like at their best. Assess where you are and where you need to apply more effort.
6. Work smarter. Learn to spend less time on the things you have to do and more time on the things you want to do. Get into the habit of thinking about how you can make your job more efficient and more enjoyable.
7. Maximize your strengths. None of us does everything equally well. And that's OK. There are many ways to fill in the gaps.
8. Build a team and delegate. Family management is not about autocratic rulers imposing arbitrary standards from on high. Function as a team, rather than a group of individuals.
9. Know your management style. Discover your unique style. Know yourself, the ways you like to work and the atmosphere in which you work best.
10. Be prepared. Being prepared is the number-one family-stress reducer. Organizing your day or your week is time well spent.
A mother's insights
At the end of each section in her book, Janene Baadsgaard shares some insights about life. Here's a sampling:

Janene Baadsgaard

Children don't see the world as it is. They see the world as they are. And so do you.
You don't have to be wise and wonderful all the time. You don't know all the answers. You don't always have to know the right thing to do. You don't have to be strong all the time. You just have to pray a lot.
Learn the difference between what you can actually do something about and everything you are concerned about.
All of us can do our work, however hard, for one day.
You don't have to be great to start, but you do have to start to be great.
The only people who care what your house looks like don't make good friends anyway.
Don't worry about how your children look. Be concerned with how they feel.
If you miss the joy in the growing season, you miss it all.
Each moment with your child will never come again.<> Your children are not you. The childhood they are experiencing is something very different from the childhood you think they are having. Don't worry, they'll tell you about it when they grow up.
If you're not grateful for your blessings, who will be?
Surround yourself with people who help you see the good in yourself and in your life.
Every mother has a train of thought she rides on when she's alone. Make sure the ride is taking you where you want to go.
Laugh at yourself at least once a day. You're a lot funnier than you realize. If you don't believe me, ask your children.
Each child comes into the world with his own personality, talents and needs.
Problems are always happening because you are still alive.
Your problems are ordinary. You, however, are extraordinary.
Pain is the opportunity for growth. Guilt is the opportunity to change. Death is the incentive to take responsibility now.
You want your child to be wiser after your guidance — not just sorry he got caught.



 

Motherly advice

2 authors offer suggestions, words of encouragement
By Carma Wadley
Deseret Morning News
Face it, families are a lot of work.
Home may be where the heart is. But, says author Kathy Peel, it's also where the furniture, appliances, clothing, electronic gadgets, sports equipment, tools and toys — that all need to be taken care of — are. It's where people need to eat and sleep and it's a base from which they must be transported all over. It's where lawns need mowing and snowy sidewalks need shoveling; where time and money must be managed. It's where diapers must be changed and sore throats soothed; where homework must be done and values taught.


As a mother, says Peel, "You are the CEO of the most important organization in the world. You have a lot of hats to wear. But making the home a good place to be is so important. It has to be a place where you can come to get away from the world."
That's a philosophy shared by local author Janene W. Baadsgaard. Being a mother, she says, "is the hardest job in the world. You are pushed to the limits of creativity, patience, intellect. But it's worth it. Nothing is more important. Every messy diaper, every toy you have to pick up, every late-night talk with a teenager is worth the time, the soul, the heart, the energy you put into it."
Every mom tends to think she is the only one that struggles, says Baadsgaard, but all mothers are in it together, and they can draw strength from the experiences and expertise of each other. Both Peel and Baadsgaard have written books full of advice, insight and creative ideas to help make a mother's life easier.
Baadsgaard's book is called "The LDS Mother's Almanac" (Deseret Book, $19.95). The book is designed to take a mother from the early days of pregnancy and the excitement of new beginnings to the time when she finally lets go "with the prayerful hope that something she taught actually stuck."
It's written from the perspective of one in the trenches, she says. With 10 children ranging in age from 3 to 27, "I was pretty much experiencing everything I wrote about." However, she doesn't claim to be an expert. "But if you've read the experts for 30 years like I have, you know that they are always changing their minds. Yet the truly needful things that you learn right in your own home laboratory and in the secret recesses of your heart don't change that much through the years."
And, she adds, "no one can write a book with everything a mother needs to know because it's not likely that anyone really does know everything about motherhood."
But one thing she has learned, she says, is that "every child changes day to day. No philosophy holds true for every child every day." You have to find what works best for you.
Motherhood is one of the few jobs where you don't get a report card, you don't get a paycheck. You can be your own worst critic. "You face your shortcomings and faults every day. Your patience is tried every day. My greatest desire is to help moms feel better, to encourage them, let them know they are not alone. We are all trying to row as fast as we can, and we should never compare and judge ourselves against others."


She remembers a mother who called her once. "She was hiding under the bed because she was afraid she was going to hit her children. And she was reading one of my books that gave her some ideas. So she called to say thanks." Sometimes, seeing how someone else handles a situation can go a long way.
Baadsgaard's suggestions tend to be practical and realistic. "You can't have 10 children without having everything in your house pooped on, spit on or bled on. You lose any pride you had in a hurry. I don't have all the answers, but I've learned a lot of the questions."
She has also learned that mothers need to take care of themselves. "You have to fill the pitcher so there's something to pour out. That's often neglected. But that's one of the most important things you can do for your children."
Because, she says, in the end "all we really have to offer our children is us — who we are."
Peel, founder and president of Family Manager Inc., a consulting firm based in Dallas, Texas, and a contributing editor to Family Circle magazine, takes a business approach to the family. Her book is called "The Family Manager Takes Charge" (Penguin, $18.95).
"So many homes are falling apart from little things," she says. When you don't manage well, that's when resentments start to fester. "If you open the door and have to clear a path to get in, if you don't know when dinner is, if you can't find clean socks, you don't feel like it's good to be at home. Home needs to be a place where you are re-filled, refreshed and loved."
But, she is quick to add, no one says that mom has to do it all herself. "It's about building a team that is working for the common good. It's about building a strong family."
To do that, you've got to keep in mind that you are the manager of a lot of different departments. That way, instead of thinking there's so much to do that you don't know where to start, you can think, OK — home and property. What needs to be done? How about for family and friends? "This helps categorize the myriad responsibilities you face every day. And you're better able to decide what tasks you can delete and which ones you can delegate."
Call a family meeting, she suggests. Let everyone have input on what it takes to make the home be a good place. "Listen to what everyone says. It's important that family members know you care, that you are not just imposing your standards. Then make a list of all the things that need to be done."
Teamwork, says Peel, is a lot about education. "A lot of parents expect children to read their minds. They expect children to know how to do things. But if you've never shown Susie what a clean room means to you, you will not get it."
And very important, she says, is follow through. "Children should not get privileges until they fulfill their responsibilities. This is critical. Watching TV. Talking on the telephone. Playing computer games. Those are not rights, they are privileges. You are doing your children a disservice if you let them have privileges without responsibilities. That's why we have a nation full of young people who think they are entitled."
Think of positive ways to foster cooperation, she says. One of her favorites is the seven-minute pick-up. "Every night, set the timer for seven minutes, and have everyone pitch in. You'll be surprised how much you get done when it becomes a game."
Create SOPs (standard operating procedures). Have a routine. Don't re-invent the wheel every time.
Every family has to decide its own definition of what makes a home a good place. "You will always find neatniks under the same roof as messy people. To live in harmony, both need to give a little. That's another business principle. You have to communicate, to negotiate. No one gets his or her way all the time."
But, she adds, if we want to change the world, we have to start in the home. "Some things can be as simple as eating a meal together. Kids who eat dinner with their family are less likely to get into drugs and alcohol. As simple as this sounds, it's something we've got away from, and that's showing up in our culture."
Isn't it interesting, Peel asks, "how if you want to cut hair or be in real estate, you have to have a license. But to run a home, which is the most important job of all, you don't?"

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