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Date Posted: 21:22:46 10/31/05 Mon
Author: Finn Mac Cool
Subject: Re: Interesting point -- Xander was echoing Spike's advice on love
In reply to: Sophist 's message, "Interesting point -- Xander was echoing Spike's advice on love" on 12:48:44 10/31/05 Mon

You're right about Xander not following the "blood over brains" route. When it came to love he tried to do the mature, responsible thing . . . and left his bride at the altar. He went the safe route, leaving the woman he loved to keep himself from hurting, much like Angel did to Buffy at the end of Season 3. I think the reason audience reaction was different to those two occasions was because I think most people who watched the show from more than a "B/A 4evr!" perspective did see the inherent dysfunctionality of Buffy and Angel's relationship, while most people didn't see that so much in Xander and Anya.

And people didn't see the B/R relationship as "messy, no-holds barred" was because it wasn't. Riley wanted "messy, no-holds barred," but Buffy was determined to try to keep their relationship free of the angst that plagued her and Angel. When Dawn told Riley how great it was that Buffy didn't get as upset when with him as with Angel, it was clear on Riley's face that he didn't see this as a good thing; as he saw it as yet another sign that Buffy didn't really love him if she got so emotional over Angel but not so much with him.

You're right that the show doesn't consistently support one side of the blood vs. brains debate, but I think that's a good thing. Absolute statements are a big mistake, in my opinion, and it's important to temper a message to make sure people don't take it too far. Moderation is important here; you need passion, but with enough sense applied to it to not go over into the truly psychotic side. That's my motto anyway. If I weren't such a materialistic person, I'd probably be a Buddhist :)

Finally, about Spike echoing the words of someone he hated, isn't there a saying somewhere that the people we hate are the ones most like ourselves? Look at Xander and Spike: both have issues with feeling powerless and emasculated, both tend to be viewed with disdain by the elders in their respective communities (Xander by Giles, Spike by just about every vampire except Drusilla), and both relentlessly mock almost everyone and everything. Just because you've got a lot in common with someone doesn't mean you have to like them.

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